User:Jesusfreak

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Spanish inquisition BLASPHEMY!!!

God hath declared ye article BLASPHEMOUS!!!.
It shall be deleted and its author shall be smitten immediately. Thus spaketh the Lord.

Do something about ye problem or else we shall be forced to bring out...the comfy chair! Duh-duh-duh!

Kraspin This user enjoys staring at spinning objects. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!.
You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.
US flag This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Irish-Flag This user is Irish
...to be sure, to be sure.
(List of Irish Uncyclopedians)


Lt. General Jonathan Willingham
Jrrt 1972 pipe
Birth Date 7/9/1991
Birth Place The Shire
Nationality European
Languages English
Religion Christian/Star Wars
Life Style Warrior
Theme Song Keep on Galloping by Korpiklaani





“Dude, wtf???”
~ Ben Hodges
“That's what she said!”
~ Jon's response to Ben
“That doesn't even make any sense.”
~ Ben's response to Jon's response to Ben
“Don't make me come down there!”
~ God

edit Me

I'm Bill Cosby, but most people just call me Jon Willingham for some reason. Don't ask me why.

“To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid”
“Oh don't rub it in!”
~ Me

I live in Kennewick, Washington (as in the state...of mind) Kennewick is a city that is on the south side of the Columbia River, write across from "Little Mexico" (a.k.a. Pasco). Everybody says that their high school is the best, but they're all wrong...unless they go to Southridge.

“SHS rocks!”
~ Me
“Amen child!”
~ God

See, even God says so!

edit Video Game Mode (don't ask why)

*Jon da Man has entered the game*

*Th4t_1_guy has entered the game*

*Yahweh has entered the game*

Jon da Man: Hey, im gonna go 2 Kennewick

Th4t_1_guy: sweet, me2

*Jon da Man has moved*

Jon da Man: crap

*Jon da Man has joined Southridge*

*Th4t_1_guy has joined Kennewick*

Th4t_1_guy: wtf?!? shs sux

Jon da Man: stfu. kehs sux.

Th4t_1_guy: u suk

Jon da Man: its on!

*Yahweh has joined Southridge*

Th4t_1_guy: ???

Yahweh: take thiz, n00b

*Yahweh has struck Th4t_1_guy*

*896 damage to Th4t_1_guy. A critical hit*

*Yahweh has killed Th4t_1_guy*

Yahweh: PWN3D!!!

Th4t_1_guy: shoot, you're good Yahweh

Jon da Man: thatz rite, dont u dare mess wit mi man Yahweh here, he'll strike u down in a sp lit 2nd, rite in teh blink of an i. SNAP, bam, pwn3d.

Yahweh: sure, we'll go with that.

*Southridge has won the game!*

edit Random Picutes

Just a little disclaimer, in my world, wtf doesn't stand for "what the frick", it stands for "what the french". What now?

PWN3D!!!

This is what it's like whenever i get into a fight..I'm the dog

SHS

Go Suns!

Laughing Cat

I said "That's what she said!" and it all went downhill from there

Squirrels

So this is what squirrels are good for!

Ichiro

Ya

OyVey!

Oy Vey!!

WhoaNelly!

Whoa Nelly!

Random

Just a little disclaimer, I have no clue who this guy is

BlackKnight

Just a flesh wound. I've had worse!

Weird446

Dude, that would suck soooooo bad!

Macandcheese

wtf?!?!?!?!

Wtfcat

wtf? (why do I keep repeating what is said in the picture in the captions?)

Tombstone2

Darth Vader's grave (I killed him in the Kennewick War) R.I.P.

Language

Fact: I never had a good sense of direction.

Arab

Crazy Arabs. That's all I have to say.

edit My Philosophy About Girls

My philosophy about girls is a well known fact that girls can be broken down mathematically, using the following:

We all know that girls require time and money:

  • Girls = Time * Money

And since we all know time is money…

  • Time = Money

Therefore:

  • Girls = Money * Money or (Money)²

And because the love of money is the root of all evil:

  • Money = √Evil

Therefore:

  • Girls = (√Evil)²

Since a square root squared cancels out, we are forced to conclude that:

  • Girls = Evil
“Women, you can't live with 'em and you can't shoot 'em!”

Disclaimer: I love women, I am perfectly straight.

edit A Little Bit More About Me

Now, just little bit about me and my beginnings. I was born in Seattle, Washington in U.S.andA (true story). When I was only knee high to a grasshopper (still am!), I was sold to a loving family in Russia. These folks taught me all I know, especially about evil death trap Communism.

Popular belief in U.S.andA. is that when Czar Nicolas die, Communist party lead by Lenin come to power. This true, but when Lenin die, most American peoples believe that Josef Stalin come to power, but this not true, the one who really come to power in Glorious Empire was in fact, me.

Under my control leadership, Russia undergo glorious era. We make vast improvements. We sign peace treaty with ***holes Germany, we make huge empire, we exploit worker and force people to build build great and glorious monument. People of Soviet Russia very happy under my leadership.

Then, in late '30s, Josef Stalin (***hole!) overthrow me in bloody revolution (technically Russian people call it "coup", but it was really a revolution). Stalin take my glorious empire and completely corrupt and twist it. Under Stalin, glory of Mother Russia never same.

When Satan overthrow me, I flee to Germany. After war, Russia take over East Germany. I flee again, to Iceland, but it was so cold there that I flee again to U.S.andA. where I live ever since. Just to remind me of glory days, I joined army of Kennewick Empire and fight against Kamiakin (Southridge not invented yet). In 1997, Southridge declare independence from Kennewick. They need help, so I help. I have been extremely succesful in Southridge Army, but I no want to brag.

edit Articles Write by Me

IC This user is a member of Imperial Colonization.
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