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I'm a fat, lazy bastard. I don't want to do anything, least of all edit some lame page that nobody will ever see.
That's why I'm here: I can waste more time here than I do at work, and at about the same level of pay!
But seriously, I'm an expert on religion (no, really!), and I love to make fun of the weird crap that people do in the name of religious expression. Uncyclopedia seems like the perfect place for me to vent my frustrations in a constructive way, and I have just enough cool points to make it shtick.
I wrote the stub for the Jediism page, and after some careful thought I decided to make an account to celebrate the occasion.
Jedi - Because I am that. Ganesh - Fat elephant god who is in charge of overcoming obstacles.
Well, I have the fat part down, I just need to get the rest of that going, because, you know, being a god is the only way I'll get laid.