From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Juno is an adorable little feature film that was written by a porn star named Diablo Cody and stars Ellen Page, Jennifer Garner, that kid from Superbad, and Jason Bateman... bateman, haha, masterbateman! Let's go masturbate with masterbateman! HAHAHA!
|Directed by||Ivan Reitman|
|Produced by||John Malkovich|
|Written by||That Hooker I slept with|
J. Jonah Jamason
That guy from the West Wing
|Edited by||Kevin Smith|
|Release date(s)||When did Bristol become pregnant? It came out a couple of months before then.|
|Running time||90 minutes|
|Box office||$215,000,000 (North America)|
StoryOne day as Juno is peacefully walking home from school, she sees Michael Cera bitching about how awkward he is and how he'll never lose his virginity. Being the slut that she is, Juno fucks him stupid. This is shown very errotically and oh boy is Ellen Page FIHINE!Because Michael Cera was wearing a broken condum, Juno gets pregnant. She decides to give birth to the baby, but give it to Jennifer Garner and Bateman, HAHAHA Bateman!, haha MASTER BATEMAN! HAHA!
Juno effectSo after everyone saw this film, a bunch of teenage girls decided to get preganant. And not the ones who are slutty. NO! I mean the girls who would normally be seen reading a book and being quiet. The legitamitly hot ones! So they saw this film and got the idea to be like Juno and get pregnant. Most of them got some really desperate guy who was a virgin to do it with them. Unlike Juno though, they kept the baby. Better they do this than bitch about Twilight. The most notable members of this cult are Bristol Palin, Jamie Lynn Spears, and Sandra Bullock.
- Ellen Page
- Jennifer Garner
- Sarah Palin
- Michael Cera
- That chick who looks like a dude from The West Wing (TV series)
- That guy from all the Spider Man films
- Drew Barrymore
- Diablo Cody
- Masterbateman... haha!
Yeah so Roger Ebert loved this film. So did all of his drones and clones. It was nominated for best picture, but lost to the Coen Brothers brilliant masterpiece that is No Country for Old Men. When Ebert heard this happened, he cried and pooped his pants
- I'm spllugusing my blagoosing!
- My ego is prego!
- My legoging in my degoging!
- Fago bago!
- I need to blago nago!
- Nasto taco gago!
It is apparent that when Diablo Cody was writing the dialogue for Juno, she was high as the girl does not speak english. It is also apparent that Cody has a thing for exclamation points.