User:Jayrod/The Lisbon Incident
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
In a famous '91 incident, Albanian terrorists managed to infiltrate one military base in Illinois and steal approximately three hundred pages of printed Lisp code from Richard Kepburn, project leader for Guava, the automatic resource-management prototype. Reportedly Kepburn managed to escape his assailants, trigger a base-wide alert, and further call the president for backup, claiming the pages stolen were the last three hundred of the entire project, and thus crucial. The terrorists, however, being well-versed in guerilla tactics, were able to escape capture, and vanished. A state-wide search turned up nothing.
Surprisingly, a few days later, the terrorists were arrested by Pennsylvania police officers on charges no more significant than 'disturbing the peace'. A coffee shop owner called in about a group of three men who had started a fistfight outside his establishment and were scaring the customers. Only later did the police realize the identity of the prisoners, and questionings about the reason for the brawl turned up no more elaborate answers than "it was all just closing parentheses".