User:Jax-arrgh/Huffing the Snake

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“I'll huff and I'll Puff and I'll blow your house down”
~ Big Bad Wolf on amphetamines
“I'll hough and I'll pough and I'll blow your house down”
~ English Wolf on amphetamines

edit Definition

Huffing the Snake is a euphemism for fellatio.


edit Origins

Messopotamia circa creation.

First known use: attributed to Eve Appleby, although at that time she was not known by that name since surnames weren't yet in use. (Eve was known as Eve the Apple buyer, which later shortened to Applebuyer and still later to Appleby.)

Eve was always fascinated by a part of Adam's anatomy which she referred to as his snake, however, she maintained some reserve until Adam convinced her that his "apples" were a forbidden fruit. Once she tasted them she became obsessed by what she experienced. She even made an entry in her diary that, until recently, was believed to read that she had tasted "of Good and Evil."

Historian Moshumbe Witke discovered in 1999 that Eve displayed signs of dyslexia and lexographer William Orthograph maintained that the spacing in her writing was not correct and that something appeared to be missing. Using a sophisticated computer imaging enhancing alogorithm he was able to postulate that what she had actually written in reference to the taste was "O God! -- Grand evil!" expressing her great delight over the flavor.

This conclusion was further supported by her obsession with huffing not only Adam's snake, but of most of the merchants in the market where she bought apples. Eve literally begged the merchants to allow her to huff their serpents, frequently promising payment for a later time. She ran up such an enormous debt that when merchants to whom she owed payment saw her talking to others in the market they would yell the warning: "Hey, fellow, she owes me!" from which the Italians derived the term "fellatio."

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