User:Java7837/Grue killer/internet/

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COMPLETE ARTICLE about EBAY from Uncyclopedia L@@K!!! NEW NR HOT!!!!!!!! Item number: 3.141592654...
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Current bid: US $ More Than You Can Afford
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Time left: 3 days 21 hours
7-day listing, Ends The Day After Tomorrow  00:00:00 PST
Start time: Nov-29-05 08:52:39 PST
History: 666 bids   (US $6.66 starting bid)
High bidder: Not_Satan (666 Ostar)

Item location:
The Internet
Ships to: Post Office
Shipping costs: Yes
  Shipping, payment details and return your broken shit policy.

Seller information

oscarw (2558 Ninjastar dark)
Feedback Score: 666
Positive Feedback: 666%
Member since Mar-17-01 in United States
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eBay is a popular website available on the Internets. It was founded in 1873 as a method for a peasant to sell a window with the image of the Virgin Mary. Its main function is to allow people to screw each other from distant corners of the globe. In this way, it resembles a chat room, though slightly more impersonal due to lack of cybering. People use eBay to charge exorbitant fees for such hard-to-find items as angel figurines, gently used pornography, bootleg Red Dwarf tapes, Doctor Who apparel, kidneys, stolen electronics, and belly button lint. If one wishes to sell their soul on eBay, they should consult the obscure 2001 classic, the Bible, which states that it is perfectly O.K. as long as you inform the buyer about persons you (THEY) owe money to.

A typical eBay transaction is known as a scam, or in latin 'aripofus'. It involves an honest bidder being continuously outbid by a shill (fellow eBay user) until the shill backs outat the last minute, at which point it is offered to the honest bidder at a ridiculously inflated price. A small shipping and handling charge (typically 900-11,200% of the bid price) is usually added to mail the worthless item to the buyer. The shipping fee is necessary to cover the cost of the seller roughly jamming the item into an envelope with all the finesse of a Catholic priest sodomizing an altar boy, and then affixing a bulk rate stamp. Then again, one might wonder why a Catholic priest would want to affix a stamp to an altar boy. But I digress.

eBay users may leave feedback for one another. Feedback offers users the opportunity to call each other raging nitwits, and even worse. eBay users take feedback as seriously as most people would take a direct communication with the God, Oscar Wilde.

eBay is one of the causes of the Internet Crash of 1864. Even though people luved eBay, God Hated it, and now there is no internet. [Editor's note: since then, parts of the internet have been restored but it now runs on hardware that was graciously donated to AT&T by the NSA]

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