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J&R's (Joey and Rob's) Secret Public Code List

Say you're with your friends at McDoogals fast food restaurant and you see a funny looking, fat asian woman with her thong sticking out. You see it, and you want to tell your buddies without being obvious or openly obnoxious about the deserving victim. Well back in the summer of 2000, we came up with a special secret code list to help us chuckle publicly about such people, to their face most of the time, without them knowing it.

First the list:

Code 1

 1.1 - Homosexual still in the closet.  Maybe he knows it, maybe he doesn't.
 1.2 - Homosexual openly out of the closet.

Code 2

 An attractive girl.
 2.2 - A girl with a "butter face" where everything is good, but her face.
 2.3 - A girl with a "butter body" where her face is good, but her body needs some work.
 2.5 - An attractive girl who is so fucking hot that your boner is about to replace Texas.
 2.6 - Any type of girl wearing a seat belt or pocketbook where the strap is seperating her tits.

Code 3

 3.1 - Mexican.
 3.2 - Any other kind of hispanic. (C'mon, everyone confuses different types of hispanic, 
       but mexicans are like no other.)

Code 4


Code 5

 Psycho motherfucker, get away from this guy/girl.

Code 7

 Black person.
 7.5 - Any person who is black and acts white, or white and acts black.

Code 8

 White person.

Code 9

 Lesbian, but more formally known as a female dressing, acting and looking like a guy.

Code 10

 A big, fat, bulbous person taking up more personal space than there are international waters.
 10.2 - A big fat girl, but for some reason has an ill-proportioned body, leaving her with NO ASS.

Code 11

 Asian. Why? Well, look at their eyes, make them vertical. It makes an eleven.

Code 12

 Clownwhore/girl too young to be wearing make-up.

Code 13

 13.5 - Superhot bonerific M.I.L.F.

Code 15

 A girl who needs to be fucked, especially by you.
 15.2 - A girl who bends over to pick something up, or take a shot on the pool table, and is 
 unaware of the fact that her panties or thong straps are sticking way the fuck out. NOTE : This 
 can apply to girls that DO NOT need to be fucked by you, so don't let people think that because
 there's a 15.2 around, and she's an 11/10.2/15.2, that you want her to pelvically thrust 
 your penis.

Code 16

 A very, very funny-looking person. Or a retard (mentally handicapped for you overly liberal
 pussies out there)
 16 Cup - A code 16 couple, both parties making the duo are code 16 qualified.
 16 Cup By Itself - A guy/girl so weird or funny looking that he/she could never get somebody 
 else ever in their existence, as long as they remain in code 16 fashion, therefore 
 making themselves a 16 Cup By Themselves.  The only sex life they will lead involves 2 pounds 
 of butter and a raccoon corpse.

Code 24

 A bitch/slut. They're both the same thing pretty much, so they share 
 a category.[[2]]

Code 25

 A shot in the mouth.  Yup, a blissful blast of beaten boy butter into a girl's mouth.

Code 30

 A dirty person.  White trash fits in real well here, along with bums and girls with child out 
 of wedlock.

Code 66

 An old person.  Some are nice, some are mean, but they're all old.

Now for some examples:

The one in the beginning, you see the funny looking, fat asian woman with her thong sticking out. That's a 16/11/15.2. And you say it just like that, no need for the word "code" to precede.

However, if there is a beautiful girl walking by, you nudge your bud and say "Hey, Code 2.5 in need of violation."

Get creative, morph the codes into any way, but be sure that your friends can pick up what you put down.

One rule to remember:

Anything minus .1 or anything to the x.9 means almost, just about but not really making it to the next whole number.

Example - That 1.9 over there would be a girl who's almost hot, but something's missing. Or - That 12.9 almost breeches the 14.9 contract. (The almost hot MILF almost needs to be fucked by me.)

Enjoy this code list 6 years in the making responsibly, and remember, once you use them, you are in the J&R brotherhood. We'd love to hear your stories on how the code system has helped you in your life. Tell us and let us celebrate you following our footsteps on being "assholes in the dark".

Send your questions/comments to

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