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Today's Featured Article

EarthArrow'd

The dictionary's difficulty in defining a shortcut comes down to interpretation of the word short - i.e. does it refer to shortness in terms of distance, or time taken.

Humans however do not face the same quandary when approaching shortcuts, as all people's from all nations and planets know that the shortest distance between two points (excepting non-euclidean geometry), is always a straight line. Therefore any route which is physically shorter than the planned route is faster.

Also take time to look out for groups of violent looking youths/escaped lunatics, dangerous wild animals (dogs, bears, leopards and so on), and any vegetable, medical, nuclear or human waste which may be seen in piles or in the form of swampland. If your alternate route contains any or more of these things then it is almost certainly a viable shortcut. The more hazards you see, the briefer and so the better the shortcut will be; a subsiding swamp in a forest full of lions guarding uranium dumps is ideal. (more...)

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Yesterday's Featured Article

421px-Punishing-witches-Laienspiegel

Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit is a best-selling business book originally published in the late 1500s. It achieved enormous success in Germany and England, and was later taken to the Americas where it held limited regional fame. Revived in the 1950s, Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit is one of the most successful books ever published and persists on the best-seller list to this day.

Along with Malleus Maleficarum ("The Hammer of Witches") and Weekend at Bernie's II ("The Anvil of the Witches"), Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit formed the primary works within the field. (more...)

Did you know...

  • ...that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
  • ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ...that the popular online game ZZT was actually invented in 1943 by Japanese scientists as an interrogation device? Moreover, did you know that it had a nausea inducement rate of 97% in early trials?

In the news

Violin boy

On this day...

February 8: Worship an Idol day (Canaan), Weorshcipe an Heathern God Dai (Eald England)
  • 33 BC - Jesus visits 50 people at the same time and laughs about how they try to explain in while watching from his cloud
  • 4527 BC - The Eald Englanders worship Odin, although he had not yey got an official

god licence (for your own contact 0800-GOD-LICENCE-PLEASE (US only)), as he was licenced under Zeus (0300).

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Wotm

Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Writer of the Year, and Mhaille, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!


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