User:J.L.M. Visada

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Jerusalem Luscious Moobenia Visada (Born December 11,1977-????) is currently an American writer, video game player, lazy slob, and chronic masturbator. He is best known for writing Midnight Squad: The Grim, and a how-to book about overcoming the psychological trauma caused by grizzly bear molestation titled , "How Gentle Are You Ben?"

He was born to a couple in Texas. Jerusalem graduated from Lamar High School as the fifth person ever awarded the title of Probly-Cum-Nevah. After high school he went to Tarleton State University, otherwise known as the bastard child of the Texas A&M school system. The school's primary location is Stephenville, Texas. It is a city known for it's alien sightings, and for having the only bowling alley on earth where you have to make reservations. Other sights in town include one of the few roller rinks with potholes, a giant cow statue, and the bust of Tarleton's founder that looks disturbingly like a Pez dispenser.

During his time in college, Jerusalem spent much of his time on his grandparents farm where he developed an on again off again relationship with a heretofore unnamed goat. It was a torrid affair that only ended when a sex tape was leaked by a jealous ex-girlfriend. The tape showed Jerusalem doing an act that has now been dubbed in some circles as the Ma Boo Hi Shuffle.

Jerusalem had a string of affairs, and bad marriages. Often he was the victim of domestic abuse by his fourth and sixth wives. His most recent marriage ended when it was discovered that his wife was actually two male midgets piggybacking one another.

After college he earned a living working in various industries. Jerusalem has been a security guard, worked in a comic shop, and briefly worked in porn. He was a fluffer, but lost his job when someone overheard that he'd finally found a job he could sink his teeth into.

After several failed attempts at joining a celebrity reality show, Jerusalem joined a secret society attempting to control the world using a combination of scientology, and proctology. He tried to live by their motto, "Hell yeah we do the weird stuff." The secret society crumbled when a greased up midget escaped and wrote a tell all book about the inner workings of the group.

Finally, after desperation grew too great, and his growing dislike for the taste of cat food proved insurmountable, Jerusalem wrote Midnight Squad. It sold surprisingly well, much better than his tell all as a victim of Japanese tentacle porn. Jerusalem has since devoted much of his time and energy to writing, playing video games, and making sweet-sweet love to himself.

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