User:Izbeenoneweek/UnNews:Gaddafi remains in Libya to engage in necrophilia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
3 January 2011
After failing to enter Niger with the assistance of a cadre of nomads, Gaddafi addressed days before in a radio broadcast from a secret location his intention: "I am not leaving this great homeland where I have ruled for many years, and it is a fanciful notion, and moreover a false premise, that I am eating the remains of animal entrails, skin, genitalia, brain, and other delicious foods that does not resemble anything human.
"I am safe, and soon I, like Muad'Dib, will return to my people. There is in no way possible that I am engaging in sexual acts with orifices of dead carcasses that remind one of humans, nor that I could possibly promote acts of physical abuse, bestiality, racism, and pedophilia, because I cannot be possibly funding billions of dollars to allow such travesties in Libya."
A Libyan official said that "Gaddafi was not a necrophiliac, although the Americans are trying to turn him into one."