User:Iwillkillyou333/Everybody's Got a Water Buffalo
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“Everybody's got a water buffalo, yours is fast but mine is slow. Oh where'd we get them? I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffaloooooooooo.”
That's right, everbody does have a water buffalo. Where we got them is unknown, but they're awesome. And they come in different varieties. Mind showing me your water buffalo? Wow, he's nice. Oh, it's a girl. Sorry. Still looks nice. Want to see other people's water buffalo? You do? Awesome! Lets dress up our water buffalo so we can show the world our water buffalo too!
Why Keep A Water Buffalo
So why in the world would you keep a water buffalo? Because, they are the best animal to have as a pet. They're loyal, tough, lovable, very fury, big, fat, cuddly, and paper trained (even though it's not recommended for obvious reasons). They can also do tricks, like fetch, sitting, playing dead, and even do back flips. They can also be used to get across rivers if it's too dangerous to do it by yourself due to fast current or over the head deepness (or if you can't swim). They aren't called water buffalos for nothing. They are well trained fighters and are a good option for a body guard, especially if you're wanted by the mafia, assassins, or spec-ops from enemy countires. They are proven to be more lethal than pitbulls and German Sheperds, and they're cheeper to keep than a pro-bodyguard formerly of the U.S. Marines with killer karate skills.
Types of Water Buffalo
There are many types of water buffalo that people have.
Dressing Your Water Buffalo
Activities to do with your Water Buffalo
Ah yes, there are many things you can do with a water buffalo.
And there are many sports to play with a water buffalo. Swimming is their favorite, hence the name water buffalo, and they are pretty good swimmers, to the point where you cannot beat them in a swimming contest. Football (american version) is their second favorite sport, but caution must be taken when they play offense. There may be bruises resulting in the football game with a water buffallo. Soccer is fancied by some water buffalo, but don't let them play baseball, because they tend to cheat by knocking out players from getting to home base, causing injuries to the players and chastisement from the referee (who often gets knocked out himself). But basketball is a good sport, as they never lose. And lets not forget go-carting, which they prefer...........
Archibald: Stop it! Stop! Stop right this instant!
What the heck?
Archibald enters the scene
Archibald: What do you think you are doing?
Umm, talking about people's water buffalo's........
Archibald: You can't say everybody's got a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters saying "where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Just stop being so silly!
Um, this is Uncyclopedia, dude! It's suppose to be silly. Gosh, some people.
Ok, to Tell You the Truth
The asparagus is right (thanks for ruining all the fun). So yeah not everbody's got a water buffalo. Because they can be dangerous if you're not careful, just like hippopotamuses. But hey, can't we be random? Don't blame people for having great imaginations or silliness. It's just human nature (and vegetable nature) to be silly, well except for boarding school teachers and that stupid asparagus. Luckily, I do have a water buffalo, and he's quite tamed. That's a good boy (pets the water buffalo). Unfortunately, not all are gentle. Just ask George when you visit his grave. So in conclusion, everybody does not have a water buffalo, but they're so awesome! Better than rhinos, too!
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The music video by Larry the Cucumber was a smashing hit and won 20 Grammy Awards.