User:Iwillkillyou333/Denise Milani

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Denise Milani in all her beauty. And bustyness

“I like big but... er I, mean boobs, and I cannot lie.”
~ Sir Mix-a-Lot after seeing Denise Milani
“Hey, hiding cantalopes in your shirt is considered shopliftin... oh wait. Never mind”
~ Confused grocery bagger on Denise Milani

Denise Milani is a super sexy Czech Republican glamour model who is notable for stunning looks, her notably large breasts, and the fact she, as of 2010, never posed nude. Despite that last fact, she is still quite popular, and her website is #1 most popular single model website in the planet, and possibly the entire universe.

edit Early Life

No Wikipedia

The so-called experts at Wikipedia do not have a proper article about Denise Milani. We are sorry they are this lame.

Denise Milani was born April 24, 1980, in the Czech Republic, although she was born before the split of Czechoslovakia, so she's techniclly a Czechoslovakian. But nobody really cares where she was born; they only care that she was born. Sometime in her life she and her family left the country, probaly due to the fact it was a Communist country during that time, of course many people state, "who the hell wouldn't?" She then immigrated Los. Her's were growing rapidly America, making Americans in the future very lucky (well, the guys mostly).

When she turned 13, something extraordinary happened. Her boobs started to grow in. Even though this naturally happens with most females, this wasn't a normal case for denise. Her's were at a faster rate than her fellow class mates; hers were the size of a grapefruit, while her class mates were average teen size (in other words, flat chested). She really gain popularity in school from ever guy she met, and jealousy from 25% of every girl she met (especially the popular girls, who's boobs couldn't match hers even the least).

edit Modeling

Before her career as a model

edit Looks and Boobs

The looks of Denise are so wonderfully formed and shrouded in mist of extreme beauty that words cannot describe. Denise's boobs are the second main reason why she's so famous. Thanks to the fast boob

edit Debate: Real or Fake?

Despite her popularity, there has been debate from people who question on how her boobs got so big. While she claims that they are real as much as Peter Parker is Spider-man, others have disagree on this fact, claiming they are fake. To support their theory, they claim the reason she never showed her boobs without a top or any other covering on is because she wants to hide the scars from the result of breast implants. Others stated she had big boobs but decided to make them better by expanding them in order to look hotter. This fact seems reasonable and believed by some, while others do not think that's the case, claiming these people are full of shit because they are criticizing a beautiful woman with big boobs when they should be enjoying this great gift made by God. In an interview with one of these criticizers named Rook, American actor David Hasselhoff ask him a few questions.

"So, you do not believe Denise Milani's boobs are not real?" Hasselhoff

"Absolutely, it's obviously she went to a plastic surgeon and asked to get them bigger in order to gain attention." Rook

"I see. How do you support that theory?" Hasselhoff

"She never shows them. She always keeps them covered, as if she's hiding something. She obviously have scars from the surgery she received" Rook

"Uh-huh. Do you have any physical evidence of these claims?"Hasselhoff

"I told you, she keeps them covered." Rook

"No, what I mean is, do you have any photos or videos of these scars?" Hasselhoff

"Um, no." Rook

"Have you ever seen these scars in person?" Hasselhoff

"No." Rook

"So, there is a chance that you can be wrong. Is that correct?" Hasselhoff

Rook, unable to gasp that fact, does not answer.

Questions like the ones above are asked on a constant basis with the results being similiar, meaning they are claiming something that can be nothing more than a pile of garbage. But because they cannot get their heads out of their asses, they fiercely still believe this theory, and shall remain that way until she either shows the world her boobs, admits they are fake, or until the world asplodes. That, however, might never happen. Although one incident involved a radical critisizer who attempted to prove the plastic surgery scar theory by ripping her top off; this did not succede because she manage to smack him unconcious with her boobs, resulting in his arrest for attempted sexual assualt, and was later found dead, possibly as an act of revenge by Denise fans.

edit See Also

Personal tools