| Today's featured article
Today's Featured Article - Ad hominem
Ad hominem (derived from Latin; or Ad-ay ominem-Hay in Pig Latin) is an effective technique used to disprove the argument of a stupid person whose ill-conceived ideas are probably reminiscent of a troubled childhood. The opponent is attacked personally rather than responded to based on their daft ideals and even dafter hairstyle. In most cases the point that is attacked is irrelevant and has no reasoning behind it. Those who use ad hominem points to counter ad hominem points are just as silly and are only leading themselves down a route of more sin.
An example of an ad hominem argument is the debate surrounding gays. The gay sinners, who thanks to their high pitched voice can barely be detected by normal human ears, when presenting their argument put forward the point that people who hate gays only hate gays because they're white and vote for the BNP. The gays who mentioned this point all went to states school and learnt geography so are, unfortunately, completely incapable of understanding how stupid their point was.
Abusive ad hominem arguments involve a petty use of verbal or physical violence against the opponent because the opponent is mentally ill and only has one arm and so can't hold up a substantive argument. Verbal abuse can involve comedic lampoons of the opposition with statements such as "You smell", "You're a loser" and "Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker the Honourable Gentleman owns less than me. Pray shut him up my good man." (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Cafeteria food
Cafeteria food is a term used to describe anything served at school cafeterias as a substitute for actual food. Although the term is usually used to describe carbs and sugar, other items available at the cafeteria, such as sporks and napkins, also are considered cafeteria food and are usually safer to eat. Recently, cafeteria food was rated #3 on Time Magazine's 2011 List of Unhealthiest Foods, just behind molten lead with whipped cream and nuclear waste à la mode.
Meatloaf is made up of 12% meat, 78% loaf, and 10% other. It is generally served either British style (in which it is covered in a thick, brown gravy), American style (in which it is covered in bacon and cheese), or Italian style (in which it is covered in ketchup). Most meatloaf contains a mixture of pork, beef, and chicken, though turkey, badger, squirrel, possum, kitten, and gerbil may also be present. Despite being flavored with E. coli, cafeteria meatloaf has more of a "Mad Cow Disease" taste according to a recent poll among high school students aged 14-18.
Sloppy joes consist of yesterday's meatloaf after it is thrown into a blender and plopped on a bun. Since nobody eats the meatloaf anyway, sloppy joes provide a second lunch with enough servings for everyone. Any uneaten sloppy joes are formed into a loaf shape and baked, creating meatloaf once again. This cycle can continue for weeks or until the health inspector arrives and closes the cafeteria.
| Did you know...
|*...taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ...that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
| Word of the Day
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| On this day...
October 19: Feast of Saint Roger (Estonia). Feast of rogering saints (Bulgaria).
- 24 - Saint Roger invites his chums to his residence, Gobblewood Mansion, and holds a feast.
- 26 - Saint Roger gets raped by Hillbillies while on holiday in Bulgaria
- 1161 - The first trout was launched into space by the ruskies, onboard Stenchpotski 12.
- 1297 - Someone, somewhere, goes to the lavatory.
- 1349 - Postmen all over England suffer the Sack Death.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus sings the blues.
- 1607 - Elizabeth I of England rises from the dead as a zombie- then dies again of a bad cold.
- 1704 - Nokia renames itself Bobcom.
- 1734 - Bobcom renames itself Fredphone.
- 1764 - Fredphone renames itself Kings Cross Talk.
- 1824 - Kings Cross Talk renames itself Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications.
- 1854 - Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications renames itself London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft.
- 1884 - London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft renames itself Retford Phone Company.
- 1914 - Retford Phone Company renames itself Nokia.
- 1925 - Nokia Phone Company renames itself Phil the lovable huggable drunkard, but then decides that it projects a negative image on their homeless phone subscribers, so they change back.
- 1973 - Pfft is created and every word in the dictionary is thusforth removed for the rest of eternity. Except for one word. Pfft.
- 1983 - 34 Nazis decide to hold a square dance, which result in a whole new line of trousers being released.
- 1990 - Toasters take over the internets messaging services. Ovens are taken in for questioning.
- 2004 - Nokia renames itself NO CIA, and starts a nuclear war.
- 2007 - While visiting Chicago, President George W. Bush is assassinated, following an economic speech at the Chicago Sheraton Hotel, in front of which an anti-war rally was being held. Noted pedophile John Mark Karr is later arrested for the murder, but is himself killed by a distraught Don King before the case can go to trial.