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“Just let me masturbate!!”
LEGO is a play set, originally made in Denmark, that depicts the almost-perfect Communist society. Everything and everyone in this society looks and behaves almost exactly the same. The people are all very short, lack any type of genitalia and also lack any capability of free thought. As such, they are frequently mistaken for North Koreans. This confusion is not helped by the fact that they do not talk to foreigners. They also hate America (a fact which led them to assassinate JFK.) Furthermore, since their original creators were danes, all Lego people are programmed to hating Sweds.
edit A typical day in the life of a Lego
A typical Lego day involves Lego people driving around in various Lego vehicles made entirely out of Lego bricks, talking to each other in the street and then returning to their Lego home. They may also visit other Lego people in their Lego homes to sit down and chat. They do not have the ability to do anything that would actually be fun to a real person, like going to strip clubs, giving birth, and having sex.
Lego people do have jobs, but they have to work all day and night at their job because they are permanently dressed in relation to the job (example: if a Lego person is a doctor then he/she wears a doctor's uniform but they cannot take it off, see below.)Furthermore, due to a severe condition only found among Lego people, they are unable to sleep(see below).
They have a wide variety of fashions, however, they cannot take their clothes off because their clothes are fused to their bodies. If they were to change clothes, they would have to tear their bodies apart, effectively killing them. However, if they somehow do put their bodies back together, they will be reincarnated as a completely different person.
Lego Sleeping Disorder is a virus which tends to attack Lego people, Refugees and Marine soldiers on duty. It is quite simply the lack of chromosones and semen that prevents the brain from sleeping. Due to it's nature, their are two knows cures, of which the first the infected would have to be Chuck Norris, and the second would require you'd kill a virgin. The first of the cures is quite simply to steal chromosones using the electronegativity of the body to rip them off a person, with a weaker electronegativity, taking them to yourself. The second is the injection of sperm cells into the infected's Testicles, and as any European knows, virgins have the largest sperm count of all people, as they will generate 12 years of sperm cells before they begin releasing their seed. People infected with LSD who choose to live with the condition, either due to weakness (Pity Yo' Fool) or human morals (pffh), will often find themselves excluded from the world, as people believe them to be Twilight vampires (see Edward Cullen).
edit Lego Puberty
Puberty for Lego people is generally an extremely frustrating experience. Without even the free will to reach their crotch, male teenage Lego men suffer from extreme sexual frustration and boredom as they do not know how to fill 90% of their time. As a result, extensive sex education programmes have been campaigned for by the Rights Association for Things That Aren't Alive.
edit In women
Basically the same thing, except they cannot reach their vagina and cannot have sex.
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