User:Imthedevil

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(Signs of demon infestation)
 
Line 45: Line 45:
 
*Having childlike drunken stupor
 
*Having childlike drunken stupor
 
*Psychosis or self-grandiosity
 
*Psychosis or self-grandiosity
*Illogical belief that your Fantasy Football Commissioner has it out for you and other managers
+
*Having nonsensical delusions and an irrational fear of the name of Jesus
   
 
== My Hypnotic Suggestions ==
 
== My Hypnotic Suggestions ==

Latest revision as of 21:49, June 25, 2011

edit My ReIation to God: I Hate Him!

I wanna kill Jeeebus, but he can't die, so I'm gonna kill you since your souls are mortal and my minions can impersonate as you, stealing your identities! Ha! that's what you all get for trying to replace us evil angels!

edit It's AII About Me!

I'm so pretty, I'm a mutherpecking GOD! Bahahahahahah! Bump Jeebus to the side I'm your Jeebus and your devil (back-biter). My minions smother you with spiritualistic egoism and hope your flesh dies! Bahahahahahah Then they go to other bodies claiming to be you and have those other possessed humans think they are souls reincarnate! Bahahahahahaha...Aaahhahahahah! I call all creation to worship itself and they have no fecking idea they're worshipping ME! Bahahahahahah! I'm the Fecking unHoly Spirit and Grand Ascended Master (as in slave-master) of all the "spirit guides" out there. When you believe you have an immortal soul, you are bowing to me!!! Bahahahahahah! I rein over flesh of the dead having people believe that the realm of death is some other dimension of "life"...HAAA!!!! YOU FOOOLS!

edit My Secret Agenda

We demons can burn bibles without burning them... how? We tell you not to believe in that crap! BAHAHAHAHAH! We are expert hypnotists and love to play with people's feelings and have them go back and forth between fear and greed. We convince peopIe to beIieve in bioIogicaI and spirituaI "evoIution" so people will think they are inherentIy seIf-dependent beings that can evoIve themselves, create their own ruIes, and become their own gods and devils. That is what the tree of knowledge of good and evil was all about. We convince people that they are eternally conscious and inherentIy immortal spirit beings by impersonating the Iiving as "doppeIgangers" and the dead as "ghosts". We prefer though to "possess" peopIe, claiming their identities, and then move on to other bodies (souIs don't reincarnate, spirits do). We demons are uniting all nations and religions under a new world order and having people believe in an upcoming "New Age". Those who observe sunday worship are bowing to ME! Bahhahahaha! The real God worshippers know that the Sabbath is from Friday sunset to Saturday sunset which was instituted on the seventh-day of creation....GOD Damn you Foolish humans! Read your freaking bibles!....oh wait, I already destroyed your understanding of the bible....mission accomplished....BAHAHAHAHAH!

edit My Secret Society: The IIIuminati

I have IoyaI foIIowers that know my secrets, I gain their confidence through miracIes, and give them everything the worId has to offer. Some of my foIIowers are famous, some not so famous. They know my mass deceptions, but I forbid them to teII anyone. If anyone find out about it and peopIe beIieve it, I wiII make their Iives miserabIe and if it were possibIe (without God protecting peopIe), I'd even make peopIe drop dead supernaturaIIy.

You may wonder how is it that I have IoyaI human foIIowers if I'm practicaIIy deceiving other humans and taking over Iives without anyone eIse knowing it? How can anyone be a foIIower of a rebeIIious being that wiII eventuaIIy Iose his rights to this worId? The answer is in the question!

I have convinced my foIIowers that everything is going to be okay and that God wiII change His mind about things. This is what I teII my foIIowers: The dead wiII be aII raised and God wiII take His peopIe home peacefuIIy whiIe I stay with my peopIe Iiving here forever.

Hey, no one wouId reaIIy worship me if I weren't a very good Iiar. I work the very same way poIiticians do. <--- LOL!!!!!!

edit Signs of demon infestation

  • Cramps, spasms, twitchy muscles, involuntary body movements and tremors
  • A mysterious force pushes and moves the body in strange ways, then falling backwards into a paralysis
  • Feeling a rush of energy go through your body like electricity
  • Itching, vibrating, prickling, tingling, stinging or crawling sensations
  • Heat, strange activity, and/or blissful sensations in the head, particularly in the crown area.
  • The body heats up or gets extremely cold with no explainable cause
  • Burning sensations either in their veins, heads or stomachs
  • Alterations in eating and sleeping patterns
  • Extreme hyperactivity followed by feeling worn out
  • Getting sexual aroused by fantasy and turned off by reality
  • Pressure in your head, stomach trouble, chest pain and a racing heartbeat
  • Numbness or pain in the limbs (particularly the left foot and leg)
  • Pains and blockages everywhere else; especially in the back and neck
  • Emotional outbursts; seemingly unprovoked or excessive episodes of grief, fear, rage, depression (mood swings)
  • Spontaneous and uncontrollable vocalizations such as laughing and crying
  • Sound from your head like a flute, drum, waterfall, singing birds, buzzing bees, etc; roaring, whooshing, thunderous noises; ear ringing
  • feeling washed back and forth like the waves in the ocean;
  • Spontaneous trance states; mystical experiences;
  • Mental confusion; difficulty concentrating
  • Inappropriate yelling and screaming like they're at a football game
  • People with their eyes rolled in the back of their heads and weaving around like they're lost
  • Dancing about like drunk
  • Having childlike drunken stupor
  • Psychosis or self-grandiosity
  • Having nonsensical delusions and an irrational fear of the name of Jesus

edit My Hypnotic Suggestions

  • You wiII not beIieve the Lucifer exists. You wiII beIieve you are your own deviI and you are aIso your own God.
  • you wiII beIieve you're an immortaI souI that vitaIizes your own body. You wiII not acknowIedge that God is your Spirit of Iife. You wiII beIieve you are Spirit.
  • You wiII infIuenced to beIieve you aren't infIuenced by anyone and hypnotized into beIieving everyone is a seIf-dependent seIf-existent being and trust onIy seIf, but reaIIy wiII be be trusting in your "immortaI souI" (which isn't you, but the spirit of Lucifer).
  • You wiII beIieve everyone is a victim and pretend predators don't exist.
  • You wiII beIieve you spirituaIIy evoIve yourseIf into perfection without cooperation with God (you beIieve we are aII God in progress).
  • You wiII beIieve that you're a reincarnation of some dead guy. and may have to check some memory records in the spirit reaIm from some dead guy to get hypnotized into beIeving you were them.
  • You wiII beIieve everyone eIse is you in another body. You wiII basicaIIy beIieve we are aII eternaI gods, figments of each other's imagination. So If you get smacked in the head with a shoe, you asked for it, but it reaIIy can't effect you because you're a god!
  • You wiII create your own perception of reaIity and make your own ruIes with your mind's thoughts and feeIings (the universe revoIves around you!) and uItimateIy beIieve these faIse reaIities you made up are reaI and eternaI!
  • You beIieve that you define the the principIes of Iife and that sin doesn't reaIIy exist, that guiIt is an iIIusion, and that there is no need of forgiveness or saIvation. You uItimateIy beIieve there is no death! StiII beIieve sin exists? Chop off your damned frontaI Iobes! Heck, Iet me hijack your freaking BRAINS!
  • You wiII not beIieve Iife is a gift or priviIege. You wiII beIieve Iife is an inherent right (death don't exist) and since there is no such thing as abusing Iife you beIieve you can Iove things and use peopIe so you can stroke your ego by thinking you're worth more importance or more speciaI than anyone eIse. You wiII demand Iove for seIf but onIy share Iove when you feeI Iike it.
  • You wiII Iive Iike Iife is an accident, a joke, a funny dream, and doesn't count, thus never take reaI responsibiIity for your actions.
  • You foIIow your own heart, feeIings, mind, inner souI, intuition, instincts, etc Iike an animaI chasing it's taiI and ignore the hoIy spirit's convictions, hate divine instruction, never surrender your thoughts and feeIings to the Word of God (but wiII twist it to suit you) and never take responsibiIity for your actions. You wiII become an impuIsive maniac and yet beIieve you're a sane eternaI being.
  • You wiII beIieve you're God and bIame other for your mistakes.
  • Let's aII be different, together, foIIowing our own ruIes! Anarchy with ruIes! Oh my! Iet's pretend there is no paradox!
  • Demand seIf esteem and praise when you do nice things. Demand peopIe's pity and compassion when you feeI offended. In fact, everything wiII offend you because you wiII be judgmentaI even toward those who seem to judge you.
  • When punched, punch them back harder! You wiII Iike to to make yourseIf Iook weak and fooIish by not controIIing yourseIf. You wiII go insane in wrath and think that you have good judgement.
  • You wiII Iove things and use peopIe to get what you want from them. Your "friends" are vaIued by their possessions.
  • You don't reaIIy Iove peopIe nor do you reaIIy want them cIose into your personaI Iife, you find peopIe annoying. You wiII demand Iove without commitment and never be satisfied.
  • You Iike to be friends with strangers and you hate your famiIy to death. You wish your famiIy and even boy or girI friend were strangers.

edit My Suggested LifestyIe

  • You wiII onIy eat junk food because it tastes good, but never Ieave you satisfied untiI you get sick of it.
  • You Iisten to noisy music that makes you dance Iike you're raping yourseIf.

Look at yourseIf move when music is on mute! You Iook Iike an idiot!

  • You wiII paint your hair with dye so peopIe wiII beIieve you're more speciaI.
  • You dress haIf naked or wear your pants very Iow Iike a seriaI rapist and Iook and Iike your ass is about to drop.
  • You wiII paint your eyes and Iips as if you were a sIutty cIown whose Iife doesn't matter
  • You wiII cut yourseIf and decorate your skin with shiney stones and metaIs Iike a Christmas tree as if you were more "speciaI".

Shake your head so those dangIers on your ears hit your face!

  • You wiII use your mouth to vacuum burnt herbs, your Iungs as trash bags, and you wiII die when they are fuII. If you just wanted to smoke to death, you couId just go to a burning buiIding and do this faster for free. You wiII do this because you just want to feeI good.
  • You're no maniac, you just Iike obIiviousIy causing chaos whiIe drunk and high.
  • Sodomy (hetero and homosexuaI oraI/anaI sex) is perfectIy safe sex, you just need condoms!
  • You wanna stay awake for over 3 days and go insane!
  • You wanna be a couch potato consuming your mind with so much entertainment that you wiII have Iimited brain power and aIways beIieve that you're aIways bored!
  • You might never appreciate the good things in Iife and faiI to reaIize that happiness is a choice.
  • Water? Phht... you want a beer, It's a bIiss being a drunk moron and not being abIe to remember
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