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It is with great plessure...



May Benson have mercy on your soul-thingy.

Oh glorious day! I'm glad I just spiffed this place up... it's almost as though I knew you were coming. Wow, I feel like John the Baptist. Hopefully I won't lose my head. Again. Well Benson, I know that a puny monkey like me can't really offer you any help that you cannot already provide for yourself infinityfold, but iffin' you ever wanna exploit someone, I'd be happy to help. --Immy I will never wash my talk page again 02:50, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Pop Bomb

Thanks for the nomination. I tried nominating stuff myself, but people threw chairs at me, so I appreciate the chance to run the gauntlet at VFH. I'm impressed with your stuff too - nice concepts with lots of funny running down the sides. A Lebowski on the front page - that's cool. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 18:53, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Hardwick... finally we meet. Happy to have ya here; I am just in the process of taking out all of my old trash. Yep, the 'ol Big Lebowski himself - had to pay homage to my favourite comedic film of all time (I'm about due for yet another viewing). Thanks for the compliment on my stuff; sharing humour across the shores is certainly a neat little draw to this place. Wait, little draw? Who'm I kidding?... it's frickin' addicting, no? And it looks like no matter how many chairs were leveled at your head, your work is being received with open arms (as it should). Hemingway is almost there and I predict a meteoric rise to VFH on Pop Bomb - after all, it's got more fizzy-lifting than anything that Wonka guy ever came up with. -Immy 20:23, 15 June 2006 (UTC)
It is certainly addictive. At least, I am always asking myself what the heck am I doing here - so I guess that's some kind of sign. I'd like to do some Lebowski related page, but not just a straight parody of the film - something with a twist. No good ideas as yet. Must go bowling. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 02:48, 18 June 2006 (UTC)
I hadn't even considered a Lebowski page until you just mentioned it right there, which got me thinking 'bout it... and I've got nothing. Man, that'd be a toughy. They did a reskin (I've forgotten which one) that had a little Lebowski in there, done really well. May have been before you started. But an article?... I have trouble even conceptualizing that one. It'd almost be like creating a parody to a "Weird" Al song, and then parodying that. No, an undertaking of that magnitude may make me feel a little too much like Sisyphus on rollerskates... but I'd love to see you tackle the subject. If anyone could pull it off, man... --Imrealized 07:27, 18 June 2006 (UTC)


Hi there, it's Iritscen. We talked a while back. You had suggested a collaboration at the time, an idea which really interested me. However, before I could get my act together and respond, I was suddenly, thoroughly banned for crimes I did not commit (for elaboration, see the Village Dump post with my name in it).

I just wanted to say that it would have been fun, but, aside from using a public terminal like this one, I have no way to contribute to the site, so I've decided it's better to leave altogether. I'm glad to see the site treating you better these days. As for me, I really was just getting started in my work here, but the strict ban policy put a hasty end to my stay here. Oh well, I suppose I have better things to do. Thanks for your earlier compliments. Well, vaya con huevos! -- 20:17, 19 June 2006 (UTC) (Iritscen)

Yes, I've just seen your posting at the Dump... I'd say that I hate to see you go and this wiki will be missing out and all, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. It looks like Mhaille has taken an interest in your situation and will be conjuring up a solution, if possible. Unless you are intent on leaving (an understandable position as I can imagine the frustration after having waited so long), I wouldn't count yourself out just yet. But if you are out the door I'll say, "Thanks for the brief glimpse into such abundant humour, Iritscen." Peace (or "see you soon" perhaps?). -- Imrealized 00:00, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

More Talk

Hey Imrealized, thanks for the advice. i'm glad you liked the obliquosphere article, it's really a labor of love between me and my friends. wonder if there's a way to keep people from blanking it? i guess we could just save the code and reload it every time someone edits it.

'preciate your help, this wiki stuff is ten pounds of confusion in a 2 ounce kitten

Cigaro Cubano 16:39, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Like I said, I think you should be safe from a huffing... but I may not exactly have my thumb on the pulse of humour, especially after I wrote that article on lima beans and called it Peru. Evidently Peruvians are a proud people. Wait, was that really me? I don't think so. Anyways, 'iffin Obliquosphere did get deleted, the admins would be able to grab the code and put it on one of your user pages (they're good like that), so you needn't worry too much about that whole aspect of things. My advice would be to just keep on having fun with this place — you'll catch on to the whole technical side of wikis little by little. A trick that I've used (and still do) is find a page you like, check out the templates and the formatting and then click edit... it's ok, you won't really edit the page. Now check out the codes (just be careful not to accidently delete anything, although if you do just make sure you don't save) and once you figure out what code produces which results, copy that sumovabitch and claim it as your own (you may want to alter the code a little later so it isn't too blatant). Once you're done with the page just make certain to cancel (not save, sorry I'm being redundant) or I think you can just hit the back button. You can always start a user page that branches from your main user page by searching for User:Cigaro Cubano/Whatever You Wanna Call The Page, then when it says the page doesn't exist you bring it into existence. Just like that... this way you can experiment in a completely carefree atmosphere. I think there's also a sandbox place for this purpose, but I've never been there — sandboxes remind me too much of giant kitty litter receptacles and I'm already full of catshit. I'm telling ya, be careful... this place can become quite addicting. Comedic addiction? Yep. Still better than crack. -- Imrealized 20:42, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Catshit can be rather delicious. I caught your review, and i looked at all dem codey pages with colors 'n fun fun. 'preciate all the help from an 01d l337 such as j00...sorry bout the l337 haha. i too have a profile now, and it's rather fun. see you around the 'pedia.Cigaro Cubano 17:22, 27 June 2006 (UTC)


Lovecraft? Who's that?  :)--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:39, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

I'm not entirely sure — sounds like some kind of German electronic supergroup that hit their peak in the early 70's with songs about forming romantic bonds with various modes of transportation. Yeah, I was surprised to see that neither you nor Tompkins had received it yet, which did make the decision difficult. In the end I flipped a midget and he landed on his head, making you the vote-getter and me a horrible person. I just hope they allow inmates online, or I may be absent for 7 to 12. - Imrealized 03:19, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
Actually, if I may, "Lovecraft" is the Anglicized literal translation for the Hindi "Kama Sutra," which is itself borrowed from the Japanese word "Kama," or "sickle," and the Latin "Sutrae," meaning "stitches (plural,)" which is what you need after being on the receiving end of a kama. The meating of steel and flesh, and resulting discharge of fluid, apparently served as an appropriate metaphor for a Sanskrit stroke-book title. Leave it to the ignorant British Imperialists to not bother to look up the etymology before haphazardly translating it (no doubt right after looking at the sidebar illustrations.) Oddly enough, in recent years, the term "Lovecraft" has once more become associated with the notions of pain and large gouts of viscous fluid in addition to the more traditional imagery. Perhaps this speaks of the underlying cyclic nature of language. Well, the more you know... --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 19:09, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
Yes, that was a pun on homonyms. --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 19:21, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
...the more I hide in my room and avoid humans. Isn't that how the rest of the saying goes? I'd like to know when I'll get to read a KiY-produced article? For a robot (that is what you are, right?) you leave the most entertaining commentary all over this site. Maybe for my next project I'll just wander around Uncyc and collect all your words and mangle them into an article and put your name on it, or the name of Robert Chambers (American Chambers, not that damn Scotsman). Anyway, I suppose large gouts of viscous fluid more than makes up for any Golden Girls imagery I subjected you to, so congrats for evening up the score. -- Imrealized 19:28, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
Working on it... for all my time here, and all my blathering, I still haven't gotten the hang of formatting. I'll keep ya in mind though when it comes time to present my aborted attempts to the Board of Urination. --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 19:54, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
Not that I'm the greatest formatter myself, but if you need some help at any point in the articular process (I know that word doesn't have anything to do with writing articles, but it has everything to do with joints, which are amongst my favourite things) I'd be happy to help. Or pictures, I can kinda put something together with them too. Or whatever. If not, I look forward to reviewing the piss out of it (that does not sound good, huh?) — your commentary really does crack me up. -- Imrealized 20:09, 11 July 2006 (UTC)

Yet Another Useless Article

Thanks for your commments, they where very helpful, i dont want to lengthen it thats for sure, stretching it out anylong than it is i belive would make it wear thin, i was worried it was doing that at the length it was. i will try to follow the points.--Sir Silent Penguin Penguin foot "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 09:11, 8 July 2006 (UTC)

Hey, no problem. It was a fun little article. I recently wrote a shorter article myself, which would lose something if it were expanded, so I know what you mean. Like I said, if you have any other questions, feel free to drop me a line here... I've always loved getting mail, especially non-bills. See you around. -- Imrealized 14:36, 8 July 2006 (UTC)

New Age Psychology

Really, really like this article. Reminds me of a former friend of mine who'se gone over the edge of insanity because of NAP. Spends thousands of dollars on weekends paying for seminars with names like "Break-Through" and "Personal EXCELlence", etc., and she's comes out feeling like queen of the world and inside a week she's back to being her old miserable self, sitting at home on the weekends reading self-help books and crying about how lonely she is and not understanding why such a wonderful person like herself (according to the books) is so lonely. By my estimation, the only thing that I think you could have worked in was the concept of Multi-Level marketing (ie, You'll love this so much, you'll want to bring a friend and if you do, I'll knock 5% off your next course; if they bring a friend, I'll knock off another .5% off your next course and make a you a "distributor", etc.). Evidently, its how the business works. Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:42, 8 July 2006 (UTC)

Prettiestpretty, you keep mistaking me for somebody else. While I also really, really like that article, I can't take credit for ENeGMA's great work. Alas, I only wrote this. -- Imrealized 14:31, 8 July 2006 (UTC)


Hey, just a shake for the nom and the vote...thanks!--Shandon 17:24, 8 July 2006 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for the entertainment — that van Gogh article is hysterical... better than the main van Gogh article, in my opinion. And I laughed at a few of your other writings, I'm sorry — I laughed with several of your other writings. Nice stuff. -- Imrealized 04:03, 9 July 2006 (UTC)
Nice to hear from a reader...I don't get much feedback. It would be cool if you could check back & let me know what you think of my more recent stuff (I seem to do 2 a day...Jewry was today's main effort)--Shandon 07:32, 9 July 2006 (UTC)
OK, you're lucky — I only usually read my own writing (I'm kidding, kind of) but have made an exception for ya and read some more of your work. Here's what I read just now, in order of favourite to least favourite, along with random comments:
  1. UnBooks:My Summer with Martin — enjoyed the language and it's got a bang-snap conclusion; good stuff; makes me feel like I've just read Jane Austen/doesn't make me want to read Jane Austen (which is nothing against the article, she's just not my thing and if I'm gonna invest time reading some huge ass book, there'd damn well better be copious amounts o' drugs in there, and hopefully some sex magick and at least one all-encompassing conspiracy); lots of laughs at Luther's expense
  2. Jewry — Yea! International Conspiracy; very strong intro
  3. F11 — exactly the direction an F11 article ought to take
  4. English, but Louder — funny, but I have no idea who this "John Kerry" fellow is... he sounds like a douche, though; umm... not a bad article, by any stretch of the word, but perhaps my least favourite of your work, to be honest... when I figure out why, I'll let ya know

Anyway, it's summertime and some body of water is beaconing so I depart. -- Imrealized 14:28, 9 July 2006 (UTC)

Much appreciated (I agree with you on the English, but Louder article, I feel it's not quite right--something about the theme & Kerry's CAPITAL talk; maybe I'll get back to it.)--Shandon 18:21, 9 July 2006 (UTC)
I'm not certain, but I kinda think (and this is all only my opinion) the whole Ozzy/Kerry thing throws it all off. For that article I'd like to maybe see a specific group of people as the pioneers — something like jackhammer factory workers or punk engineers or siren testers or something that is actually funny as opposed to the examples I listed, but you get the idea (maybe?). And somewhere along the line it takes off and spreads like smallpox-infected blankets to Native American tribesmen and then all of the coolest people in the English speaking world start talking English, but Louder. Bear in mind (and I warn everyone of this, at least I'm going to start warning people of this) — I don't exactly have my finger on the pulse of mainstream humour, so you might wanna not heed any advice I give you. Just a thought. -- Imrealized 02:01, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
Yaaah, just rewrote it with some pictures I made...let me know if it works better...I am really happy with the cover art--Shandon 22:36, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
I do like it more. Umm... how do I say, not a great deal more, but a little more. I hate to say that and I don't want to discourage you at all — it's not bad, not at all. Just not my thing, but as I've said, I sorta have a strange sense of humour sometimes. My best advice would be to post any newer articles on Pee Review and then be patient... some really good people make their way through those parts (OEJ, Jaques Pirat and Modusoperandi are three that come directly to mind) bearing excellent advice, and then you'll get at least a few different perspectives, as opposed to posting 'em here and receiving the opinion of one moron with a moderately developed vocabulary. I'm not saying you can't post them here too, I just would hate to think I'm giving bad advice without a counterpoint or something, ya know? -- Imrealized 23:15, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
Well, I stuck it in pee review (geez I just wanna put that 'r' on there) & we'll see what happens...thx--Shandon 23:30, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
No problem (I don't know how much help I even was). Comedy is just a highly subjective thing, so it's best to get a few different opinions. I mean, there was just a Featured article that I thought was horribly unfunny, poorly written and smelled like fetid cabbage but that didn't stop it from settling on the front page for two highly-unsubtle days. So, that's just like... my opinion, man. Good luck with the Pee. -- Imrealized 23:39, 10 July 2006 (UTC)


I'd just like to thank you for the nod.... Much appreciated, much appreciated. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 06:03, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, well I honestly deliberated last month for quite awhile and almost didn't even vote, yet again, due to indecisiveness. This seemed like a pretty good solution to me because, as I said, there couldn't have been two more deserving writers. I oughtta be thanking you for the profuse amount of laughter you've inspired. So hey, you earned it. -- Imrealized 06:14, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Grue vs Unicorn

Check out the reefer desk. Your unicorn idea was too good to pass up. I credited you when I uploaded the new version so, like it or leave it, you're tied to it forever now. Modusoperandi 04:25, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

Umm, yea? -- Imrealized 23:44, 17 July 2006 (UTC)
Actually, it's much better than that Grue. But I already said that at the Reefer Desk. Weird. -- Imrealized 23:46, 17 July 2006 (UTC)

Pee Review

Hey, by the way I see you looked at my Rap article, but on the pee review page u didnt say 2 much..Do u like the article/think its funny? And if u want to include Sugarhill Gang and Last Poets, feel free. The more thats added to my article the happier I'll be, because I want to try to get it featured. -- Sir Cornbread The Great Icons-flag-us [SHOUT] [MUN] 18:44, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

Cool... I never like to add to stuff on Pee Review unless told to do so. But actually, while I was writing that comment, I realized that those groups, while they are the grandfathers of rap, are probably a bit obscure, so maybe they're better left unmentioned, which is what I was getting at but probably not in an effective way. Sorry for any confusion with that. I'll take another look at the article, but I don't know that I'll add anything because I'm beginning to learn that maybe my humour only reaches a smaller audience and if you're going for a featuring, I may not be the guy to ask. Needless to say, if I do add anything feel free to revert it. Rap on, Sir Cornbread... rap on! -- Imrealized 18:55, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
Thanks, hope u like the article! -- Sir Cornbread The Great Icons-flag-us [SHOUT] [MUN] 19:41, 18 July 2006 (UTC)

Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is...

Thanks for stopping by to say hello and the compliments, I really enjoyed Paradise Lost and hope it makes it to the front page. Its nice to see something nominated that actually has roots in something meaningful. What are you working on next? I'm trying to find as many amusing and yet inoffensive ways to poke fun at the "conflict" in Lebanon on UnNews. I will get back to writing my usual bios soon. Take care.--Spqr Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 13:59, 19 July 2006 (UTC)

Great quote/heading ya got there — I wanted to work that into The Jetsetters section (that was from Book IV, right?), but couldn't seem to make it work any which way I tried. If you'd like, feel free to add that in somewhere or if you have any other ideas, go for it. I haven't attempted an UnNews story yet, but the, uh, candid conversation of Bushie-boy at the G8 would only have been funnier if he had puked on an Asian a'la Daddy Warbucks. That story had me thinking, and the complete transcript is available and ripe for a sporking. But I don't know if I'll get to it. The other projects are super secret surprises; one I just started doing some pics for last night. Once I get 'em on here and start something up, I'll let ya know more. Phew, have fun with that "conflict"... I can't wait to see what humour is mined from all that. Should be good. -- Imrealized 14:57, 19 July 2006 (UTC)
No, no, no, that quote is from the movie "The Crow", T-Bird is in his car and Brandon Lee is about to set his nuts on fire with dynamite and he starts screaming it! *smile* Yes, I think it is from Book IV. That whole passage is mutha fucking tizite. Yeah, let me know when your super secret article/project get off the ground. And I will immediatly look into including the above passage into your article, look for it today, and let me know what you think. I'm also writing an article for UnNews right now about the rocket attack on Nazareth- Jesus is pissed about his hometown being shelled...!--Spqr Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 17:49, 19 July 2006 (UTC)

Images, VFH, and Bears - Oh shit

Just had to ask a few things... I noticed on the Reefer Desk page that you commented an image and talked about editing shadows into photos. Thats a problem I'm having right now. I'm using Photo Pos Pro (If you've ever heard of it), and I cant figure out a way to do this for my image thats currently at the Reefer Desk. I'm kinda new w/ the photoshopping, and since u had a featured pic, just wondering if u know how to do this.

Secondly, I actually learned about Paradise Lost yesterday, so I voted for your article now that I comprehend it. If you feel like returning the favor (cough) I just nominated my article, Rap, for VFH. I hope u liked it, & if u did, please vote for it.

Anyway, if you could help me out with my photoshop problem, it would be great. Thanks, -- Sir Cornbread The Great Icons-flag-us [SHOUT] [MUN] ~RAP~ [GET IT FEATURED!] 07:38, 23 July 2006 (UTC)

First things first — thanks for taking the time to learn up on Paradise Lost; hope it didn't bore ya too much. I just popped a new Snoop pic on Rap for you. I got the idea a couple days ago but was busy with a few other pics so didn't quite get to it. If you don't like it or want to change the caption or anything, feel free. I just personally think that if you're going for street cred or a highlighting, original pics are the way to go (even though I didn't do too much work on it, although the guy standing at the podium was a cracker originally).
Hmm, now onto the other stuff. I'm not really sure about Photo Pos Pro (I'm sorta new to the whole computer side of art myself, I just bluff through shit really well). I use Corel Photo-Paint, which has a tool for drop shadows over on the left hand side with the rest o' the tools. To be honest I don't use it a whole lot; I probably go the long, stupid route many times and do a lot of shadowing by hand, or, well, not by hand but with the little paint tool thingie. Another trick you can use (and once again, this is if your program has these functions) is mask off whatever it is you want to add a drop shadow to and then copy it. Then paste it as a "new object" and then select it. Now color that fucker in all black-like. Then if you've got a way to change the transparancy you can use that image and spin it around or stretch it out and try to match it up to the way the shadow would be cast. Admittedly, this is all probably pretty bad advice. Your best bet is see if you've got a drop shadow tool and if not, maybe get a program that does have one. Maybe Gimp does, you might wanna check it out, it's a free program that I've heard is good. If I knew the program you were using I might be able to be more helpful, but alas, I am pretty much clueless. Sorry. Sometimes if I can't figure out how to do something with Corel I just search for whatever it is I'm trying to do and can usually find a tutorial or two that explains it. Now I'm fresh out of ideas. But if you have any other questions, I'll try my best to answer them, hopefully a little better next time. Good luck on VFH. -- Imrealized ...hmm? 09:51, 23 July 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for the photo, its good. I'll try what you're saying, but I may just end up doing it by hand, if I can figure it out. Thanks for at least attempting to help. -- Sir Cornbread The Great Icons-flag-us [SHOUT] [MUN] ~RAP~ [GET IT FEATURED!] 19:37, 23 July 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for the pics! Have a plate of cornbread. -- Sir Cornbread The Great Icons-flag-us [SHOUT] [MUN] ~RAP~ [GET IT FEATURED!] 04:08, 24 July 2006 (UTC)
Cbread Plate of cornbread!!!
Sir Cornbread has done awarded you a whole plate of cornbread fo shizzle! You should feel really special. Now, go get some pork chops and fried chicken, and have yo' self a nice home cooked meal. --Sir Cornbread

Word up! Glad you liked the pics and to see the article doing so well on VFH. You really did a great job gangstafying the shiznit out of that article after VFD. Thanks for the cornbread — it'll look nice in my small but hopefully growing awards collection. Good thing it wasn't a bowl of mashed potatos or I might have had to do something wholly inappropriate with it. -- Imrealized ...hmm? 04:17, 24 July 2006 (UTC)
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