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I'm really Zed

Welcome to Uncyclopedia! I'm the person who nominated you for what the above template is referring to. Your stuff is very impressive (to me, anyway) but there's two things I should point out:

  • Articles don't show up on the "Recently added" list on the Main Page unless you put them there yourself, by editing Template:Recent. Be sure to follow the helpful directions...
  • I have a proposal for you. How would you feel about moving WWJJD? over to QuoteUnquote:James Joyce? We could leave "WWJJD?" as a redirect (I think there are a couple links to it already, so there shouldn't be (m)any objections), and we can also hack the page title so that it says "What Would James Joyce Do?" instead of "QuoteUnquote:James Joyce." It's no big deal if you don't want to, but think about it - that would raise the number of link-to's considerably, and in one fell swoop.

Anwyay, please keep up the good work! Anybody who's into the Pistols, bashing Republicans, and making fun of James Joyce is OK by me!  c • > • cunwapquc? 21:18, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the crumply-face!

That pic was actually sort of poignant, in a way. Hmmm, I wonder if I can use it for something...? And there's one more thing I should probably suggest, too, and that's this: You've sort of dived into this headfirst, posting a lot of material in an unusually short time. Don't get yourself burned out by doing too much too quickly - I've seen that happen with a lot of people around here, and whereas for most of them it's probably just as well, I'd personally rather not see it happen in your case. The recognition (if that matters to you, hopefully it doesn't!) will come, people will notice, but it often takes a while, sometimes weeks - and it usually comes where and when you least expect it, too. Anyway, good luck, and don't hesitate to ask if there's anything I can help with! --Some user 06:12, 14 March 2006 (UTC)


You've got Some user's style down perfectly. See if you can do mine next (if I have one)? - Lir 19:09, 18 March 2006 (UTC)

Thank ya thank ya thank ya

Im, thanks for the thumbs up on two of my VFH candidates, Westboro Baptist Church and Women's Suffrage. If my writing made you laugh, then I'm very glad. — 2nd Lt. Sir Edward, the Weasel of Wild KUN VFH FP 11:39, 19 March 2006 (UTC)


You seem to think I'm Lir. I'm not. You can ask any admin to confirm this. - User:Guest/sig 18:41, 19 March 2006 (UTC)

Ahem.. I'm not an admin. But I can definitely say that Sikon is not Lir. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 19:01, 19 March 2006 (UTC)

For someone who is not Lir you sure obsessively talk about the thing. Funny, that you knew Lir sock-puppet templated my user page, and when someone asked you about said template, you seemed a little hesitant to say anything. Funny, how you knew what Lir did when talking with Some user, like you must have just happened to stroll through my user page to see it. Whatever man, just do me a favour...if you're thinking about writing something to me, please make sure that it is either: A. FUNNY or B. Intelligent - thank you. --Imrealized 00:35, 20 March 2006 (UTC)


Man, I was sorry to see your stuff deleted. I know you requested it, but still it seems like such a waste. I feel the site's lost something good. I can't really know what sort of nonsensical, immature crap some other users put on you, but if you ever do decide to return, you'll still have supporters. I'm sorry. Good luck! --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 18:58, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

Ditto. Seeing active contributors leaving for whatever reason is never good, when those individuals have submitted some of the more cerebral content that is often the minority on the site then we're all losing out. We'll keep a candle in the window.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

I'm rather fond of your work and think that you generally do a pretty good job around here. I'm not sure why you've been driven off but I would rather like to know. If you feel that someone's been harassing you, you should tell an admin about it and if you feel as though admins are harassing you, find another, more sympathetic admin (such as Mhaille or myself) to tell about it. It would be a real shame to have you or anyone else of your calibur driven off. --Sir gwax (talk) Signuke 21:22, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

Dammit Part 2

As a matter of courtesy, I am posting a message that I left on Major Sir Lyons discussion page to undelete your work. You are a most excellent writer, and I think your contributions should remain IMHO.

Begin Quote

Major Lyons, please forgive my n00b-ness. As you can readily tell, I just joined the editorial ranks, though I have been a reader of Uncyclopedia for a long time. Kitten Huffing was too much to resist, and now I am addicted. One of the great articles that got me hooked was Sith Vicious and the rest of Imrealized articles. Imrealized has decided to leave Uncyclopedia because he has become 'disillusioned' (his words, not mine). He has requested that all of the pages he authored be deleted and you deleted them all based on the VFD page. I would politely request that those pages be restored.

I respect Imrealized and his ability to make humor and satire where I cannot. I submit that his works are at least unpolished gems and at best pure white kitten. He may leave or stay as is his wont, but his work became Public Domain when he submitted them here and should remain as he passes on. If I should let this matter drop because of knowledge and wisdom beyond me, then let me know and I will. One of the pages that was deleted was on the Featured Article voting list. I humbly await your word as to whether or not I should continue to pursue this, or to drop the matter because of information that is beyond my level.

End Quote

Respectfully copied to you and your genius Yendor33 22:09, 24 March 2006 (UTC)


I am really flattered by these words that you have left for me. It's nice that after such a short time people do genuinely care, which really makes leaving extra rough. Damn! Especially noticable to me is that all the "supporters", in my eyes, are the people with true, legitimate talent while the small cadre of people who helped nudge me out the door seem to struggle, not only with fusing words together in a sly, amusing manner, but with the simple art of being a human. I'm quite new to these internets, and I think I've noticed that it's easier to be a glorious asshole when you don't have any fear of meeting the person in the real world. Anyway, here's the heart of the matter.

Either certain people, who were referred to as "the cabal" (by Sir Sikon in "n00b" o' da month, check it out, that's evidence #1 that I don't have "wikipsychosis" like that idiot Todd Lyons suggests) think that I am a sockpuppet, which I must admit I had to look up when I first heard this as I din't even know what that was. But I suppose this is due to the fact that Some User was the first person here to befriend me and because he's a good writer and I'm a good writer, this is too much of a coincidence (two good writers in America, can't be) so we must, of course, be the same person, or at least that's how the simpletons see things.

I'll tell you who were problems because I think this information should be recorded somewhere: Sir Dawg (who I was warned about), Katie (who had the last chance to be honest with me, completely lied and said that everything was fine, basically, and that nobody is voting against me specifically for anything), evidently Todd Lyons (who voted "no" for me for "n00b" and then later came back and added that asinine comment on there, I guess to make it look like that was his reasoning the whole time) and Sir Sikon (with that "cabal" comment, although he hasn't been bothering me lately) and that 15 yr. old lookin' kid with the receding hairline and the love of TMNT, I forget his name- Turtle Terry or whatever, but he wasn't too friendly and I feel he wasn't too anxious to keep me around. I think that's it (wow, only five people?)... there were others who were stand-offish and not very welcoming, but overall these were the problem people.

I was warned about this behavior and researched it myself through talk pages on here and on Wikipedia, because as I said, I am pretty unfamiliar with all this. And this is a big problem, with this site in particular, from what I've read. You see what "they" do (whenever you put "they" in quotations there's gonna be trouble) is just poke away at someone, little by little, until they crack. Then, when the person plays into their hands, exactly as I did, they all say, "Oh, look at the crazy person with their delusions or persecution" and it does, in fact, look like I am a crazy person with delusions of persecution, does it not?" But what really happened is I don't have the time or inclination to deal with this kind of kindy-garten bullshit. I've only been here a bit over a week and really if this behavior is systemic to wikis, I want no parts of it. I was just inbetween books and thought I'd kill some time here, and unfortunately a few people fueled on jealousy or idiocy or just plain ignorance couldn't let that happen. I really do appreciate your kind words and wish that this whole matter could have been resolved in an adult manner, which I tried. I'll probably check in periodically to see if the "problem" people are still around. I wish you all the best of luck, keep up the excellent work (which most people here are doing) and stay funny (which absolutely none of this was, my apologies). --Imrealized 22:20, 24 March 2006 (UTC)


I have not been as vigilant about keeping up with the Votes For Deletion page as I should be, but I noticed todayy that recently you placed several of your pages there and requested that they be deleted. Todd apparently felt this was sufficient reason to remove them, but the pages were later restored until the votes on them are conclusive. It is my hope that you will reconsider your decision to have these pages deleted, but if you do not I will support your request. I myself nearly put all of my pages on VFD after my first unpleasant run-in with an admin. I am now happy that I did not, but all the same I empathize and would like to see your wishes honored.

It is unfortunate that you intend to leave, but I do understand that. You are currently the subject of much debate between the admins concerning your identity and what the ramifications of that should be — I admit I am unsure myself. It would make me happy to see this debate resolved and for you to continue as a contributor without having to deal with administrative politics, but I understand if you do not have the patience for that. If you leave, however, you do not need to have your pages deleted. I am sure you can find someone trustworthy who will adopt your pages and keep vandalism and unwanted contributions from being added to them. Most major writers and many admins already have watchlists that they check daily to ensure certain pages are well maintained. It wouldn't be to much of a strain to add a few more pages.

---QuillRev. Isra (talk) 23:51, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

I would like to speak with you at your convenience... I looked for you on IRC (is that right, IRC?) but to no avail. I really am nobody (meaning I haven't wiki'ed before about two weeks ago) and this confusion over my identity is obviously one of the things that have made me so uncertain of my time here. It just all seems so strange to me and honestly, if this is the way it is (I mean, if this is normal for the site which, after some reading of backlogs, it seems like it is) I want no parts of it. But if the good outshines the bad, which it is starting to seem like it does, I am thinking about sticking around. I'd love to, II appreciate this forum and the ability to trade humour with people across the globe is wonderful, and I hadn't even collaborated with anyone yet, which seems to be the goal of the site, so yes, if this matter can be resolved in some way I'd be grateful. Is there any way I can prove who I am? I don't want to confuse here: I have used computers before, I am not a complete technological caveman; I just have never had my own online capabilities before about three weeks ago. So I have no idea about all this "sockpuppet" stuff and hacking and any of this nonsense. There must be someway... did anyone Google Imrealized? I have recently sold some things on eBay and I know that shows up on Google... the auction pages (now ended, but should still be there) have, I believe, my city in New Jersey listed. Does this help? See, I don't know but I'd love to be able to prove someway that I am not whoever it is thought that I am, because I believe this is entirely the problem and why I was harrassed. Anything I can do to help, just let me know. Thanks. --Imrealized 00:29, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

Change of Heart

It seems as though I stumbled back here just as my pages were being undeleted (which is kinda neat to think about, the Un part anyway, fitting I think, definitely flitting) and at first was a bit sore about it, to be sure. But after considering some comment I received above, Irealized that I have shamed my name with my actions. I focused on a few people who made it quite clear, through harrassment, that I was an unwelcome addition. However, there are many more positive aspects to this site and these should be mine, and everyone's (at least those with a heart) focus.

Especially heartening to me is the fact that I seem to have some support from my brothers and (perhaps?) sisters from across the pond, and as we all know it is the British opinion of comedy that truly matters. To the person who said that the WWJJD? article would need too much clean-up... HA! Read a book, dude. Anyway, this is why I have pulled my DELETE votes because, if others are enjoying these, who am I to take them away. That said, I imagine some people may still vote for deletion, which is fine too. I'll leave it up to the fates to decide. Maybe I'll even submit an article or two (though admittedly not at sucha pace), if the site will still have me. I would enjoy working with many of you. I think that's it... I'd like to thank the Academy and goodnight. --Imrealized 23:56, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

The pages you had placed on VFD have now been restored and removed from VFD. WWJJD is still there, but seem quite likely to be kept. ---QuillRev. Isra (talk) 00:39, 25 March 2006 (UTC)
Ha! Don't worry about that! I've got my machete and my flamethrowa and I'll defend Joyce until the bitter end, even if he did almost derail my graduate work. --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 13:52, 27 March 2006 (UTC)

Thank you both. I'm glad that very sensible people have been so supportive. And despite the ribbing, Joyce actually is one of my favourite authors (what crack am I on, right?). --Imrealized 16:51, 28 March 2006 (UTC)


I am referring to the article, not you :) Please look at the Talk:Asshole and see if you can revert a portion of the article with respect to the "Master of Body" sub-joke that I had re-added and then you removed. The whole discussion is there, so I won't repeat it here. I leave the decision up to you, as also noted in the discussion. I only mention it here so that you get a "You have New Messages" notation on your next visit. Yendor33 19:39, 26 March 2006 (UTC)


Hello! It has come to my attention that you may be feeling harassed and or irritated by users and or admin staff. If you find the issue has not been resolved to your satisfaction and wish for me to spank a few users, you may contact me by email at crestfall AT gmail DOT com. Hopefully you don't feel too unwelcome, and if so, I do apologize.--Chronarion 00:44, 28 March 2006 (UTC)

Thank you Chronarion. While there have been some problems (based on mistaken identity, I believe), I just wish to let the whole thing pass, if possible. Too much time has already been spent on this subject and it has only distracted from the humour of the site. But thanks again for your concern. --Imrealized 16:47, 28 March 2006 (UTC)
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