User:ImmortalOracle
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ImmortalOracle is a user on uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia, of whom little is known other than that:
1) he/she may or may not be certifiably insane
2) he is often on some kind of tangent
3) he knows where you are
4) he's coming for you
5) I know who you are, <insert name here>
| John Doe | |
|---|---|
| |
| Scientific classification | |
| Kingdom | plant |
| Phylum | no idea whatsoever |
| Class | Yes |
| Order | chinese food |
| Family | annoying |
| Genus | I beg your pardon? |
| Species | Hobbit |
| Binomial name | |
| I Don't Even Know What 'binomial' Means! | |
| Specifications | |
| Primary armament | Invisibility |
| Secondary armament | obscure movie quotes |
| Power supply | Chernobyl |
| Health | insured |
| Mana | that's a kind of bread, right? |
| Strength | 9001 |
| Intelligence | Intel Pentium |
| Weight | 100 and something Lb. |
| Special attack | Exodia Obliterate |
| Conservation status | |
| Kill the Bastard | |
 This wikipedia, now this is Earth. See that insignificant speck of dust on it? That's why you need to clean your glasses. See that one there? That's | |
| Location | Undisclosed |
|---|---|
| Born | 21 Windows minutes, Internet |
| Died | tomorrow |
| level of hell | Limbo |
| Known disorders | paranoia, autism |
| School | online. |
| Main interests | My main interests |
| Notable ideas | heh heh... none. |
| Influenced by | Marik Ishtar |
| Influenced | people that are easy to manipulate. |
| Favorite snack | How would I know? |
| Bounty | 3 dollars, 47 cents |
Contents |
History
Early Life
I was born. I lived. I came, I saw, I conquered. The end.
Service in the 3rd world war
I started the Third World War, multiple times. Any objections?
Awards and Controversy
I don't remember what I was going to put in this paragraph.
Doctor's Analysis
INSANE.
| This user is an aspie and thus a member of The Master Race; bow before his/her intellectual might, puny Neurotypicals! (or alternatively punch the user in the face and take his or her lunch money) |
Another section
“Yes, yes there is”
“If you're still reading this, good job.”
Bounty
As of December 21st, 2011, The bounty over ImmortalOracle's head has been removed, due to the target's tendency to claim the said bounty.
Diagnosis (another doctor's analysis)
May 13th, 2006: The patient was found in his cell, scratching words into the wall. I looked over his shoulder to see, and the patient seemed to be convulsing, or perhaps just shivering. I don't know. This is what I had found written on the wall:
They say that monsters come only at night,
That light will drive them away.
But not all creatures follow this rule,
Safety not certain during the day.
He hides on the fringes of your vision,
Brief glimpses of the distorted.
He slithers and writhes behind your eyes,
Reaching for you, limbs contorted.
- -From this, I have concluded that he is: myopic, epileptic, schizophrenic, and possibly depressed.
Before you know it your children are taken,
And now it's come down to you.
His breath is oppressive, his presence acidic,
He feels pity is undue.
- - This stanza suggests at:paranoia, halitosis and stockholm syndrome.
Suddenly, trapped in his grasp so tight,
You struggle to break yourself free.
He laughs and he gurgles and he screeches with glee,
He turns your head for you to see.
Your children are crying though their eyes are removed,
They collapse, still and silent.
His arms and legs bend pulling you closer,
The man's eyes dark and violent.
- -Emo? Manic?
He strikes and he cuts, your skin flays open,
Your soul too weak to resist.
This should not have happened, if only you had listened,
Never go into his forest.
- - Diabetes?
OMIGOD ITS THE SLENDER MA...hhhjkhhJKHKJASghGF!!!!!!!!!!!
Doctor number 3
lazy eye, asperger's, adhd, add, paranoia, possible schizophrenia, dementia, likely kleptomania, hereditary diabetes and lactose intolerance, as well as spontaneous human combustion (of other nearby humans).
| il-2 | This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Igpay Atinlay. |
| pe-G | This user does not speak Plain English and furthermore believes Plain English to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Plain English. |
| sc-0 | This user does not understand Scrabble and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners. |
| tx-G | This user does not speak Texan and furthermore believes Texan to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Texan. |
| sa-N | This user is a native speaker of Sarcasm. |
| quo-2 | This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Quote. |
| This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo. |
| This user is right-handed.
In Latin they would be Dexter. | 
|
| This user's IQ is Over 9000. |
| Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page. |
| sub | subliminal! |
| This user hates telephones. Could be due to the fact that the U.S. government is monitoring them. |
| n00b | This user is a n00b. |
| This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover. |
| This user is a complete, irredeemable ovary. He/she/it is Bat Fuck Insane, and attempts at the ovary. |
|
This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor. |
 This user enjoys staring at spinning objects.
They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!. |
|
If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe, this user been married long time ago. |
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This userbox is for people who know, if you wonder what they know, then you probably don't know. |
| usb | This user likes to use userboxes. |
| Usb! | No, really! |
| USB!!!!!11 | NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!! |
| THIS USER'S HEAD A SPLODE. |
| This user is a mutant. |
Pages with this template are added to Category:Mutant Wikipedians
| This user is a geek. |
Pages with this template are added to Category:Geek Uncyclopedians
| This user is the sworn nemesis of <insert name here>. |
| This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet. |
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This user is Canadian ...and stands for truth, universal health care and HOCKEY games! (List of Canadian Uncyclopedians) |
Pages with this template are added to Category:Canadian Uncyclopedians.
