From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Who actually is Timothy A. Ikabu? What does he think about? What is his purpose in life? What does he sleep with? The answer to all of these questions is nothing.
What many don't know is that with so many of his personal attributes at nothing, he must be finding it rather hard not to be nothing himself. To put it plainly, he ceased to exist.
At first, he found this a bit of a bummer. He could no longer attend parties, get drunk, impress peers with humorous impressions of Leonardo da Vinci or have sex with the girl of his dreams. When he found he hadn't the capacity to do this even when he was alive, he decided to calm down.
His self-esteem level almost clawed back to zero when he discovered he was living in The Matrix and nothing was real in the first place.
With this in mind, he started brainstorming about ways he could make his mark on a non-markable world. He tried art (he wasn't very good at us so he simply said his works were abstract) and eating himself when he finally settled on writing.
The universal reaction to this event was a simple 'Damn'.
He has been assassinated for his works numerous times, but he doesn't mind because he didn't exist in the first place.
His works so far are not very funny, so he posted them on Uncyclopedia. In order of creation date, they are: