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Look at him. The bastard.

Tragedy today in Sydney, Australia, as the Mad Stander, also know as That Cheeky Chap, once again stands where he shouldn't. It's the 7th time that the rouge has broken no-standing laws in 3 weeks and police are baffled as to how he keeps getting into to these high security areas and just stands around.

"We're baffled" says Australian policechief Roxanne Dungeree. "But we're confident that we are closing in on him. Tight. Like a koala strangle."

Police are releasing this picture in the hope that it will speed the catching of the criminal. And because although ginger, he's not too bad on the eyes.

Other places the menace has struck included an Ann Summer's party in Iraq, where men are stricly forbidden to see the sacred items. On top of a church altar in the small french village of Le Shite during the opening prayer. And standing in front of an old lady, who was just going about her way.

Worryingly, the acts of the Mad Stander have been remarked to be not just the work of one man, but an entire network of people who like to stand where they shouldn't. Doctor Eggbert Face, of Kollocks University, England, tells us; "This is highly planned and complex work, no bloody way is it the work of one man. One man! Are you stupid? We're talking about standing for periods of three to four minutes, he has to have a team at least 60 men strong. You twat."

If you have any information concerning the Mad Stander or any of his 'network' please kill yourself, because he'll be coming for you.

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