User:I Like Turtles
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“I Like Turtles”
“Turtles...Why did it have to be turtles”
I Like Turtles
A Zombie's Opinion
Brains... Brains... Turtles...
You may wonder why turtles? The reason is that turtles, novels by Ayn Rand, and movies not involving talking animals rule! Turtles can also be used as skateboards by zombies, because they move slow as hell. Come on, zombies in movies are slow as hell, has no one ever seen Dawn of the Dead? They are so slow that fat kid from your gym class can outrun them. Even Your Mom can outrun zombies. But with TURTLES™, Zombie speeds change from 1 Mile per Day to an astounding 2 Miles per Day! Sure, you're still slow, but you're not as slow as before!
Recent Evidence also suggests that Zombies worship turtles as their gods. Why Not? Turtles are Fecking Awesome! They would be Fucking Awesome too, if they were not too Slow! The Ancient Zombie nation of Marrakesh was once home to Turtle Palace, before The Pope destroyed it with his eye beams.
Lots of people like turtles. Cthulhu likes them, and Jesus does too! However, the increase in turtles caused the American Revolution, the Industrial Revolution, the Russian Revolution, the Matrix Revolution, the Zombie Revolution, the Robot Revolution, and the constant debate on whether Global Warming exists or not. How turtles are to blame, we don't know, they just are.
In all honesty, this user believes that Math is the embodiment of evil. However, I will use Math to prove that turtles are Miniature Gods to the Zombie Race/Sex/Religion: therefore, if , but Then the answer is obviously D)All of the above.
However if and , then the zombies can move approximately 8 MPD (miles per day).
Early American Turtles
(Ninja) Turtles Rock!
Something that Won't Make Your Eyes Bleed
I Like Turtles is Emo.
Respect him/her, or one of them will call Addy.
Fine, Here are Links to Articles I Wrote
- The Total Perspective Vortex
- User:I_Like_Turtles/College Roomies from Hell!!!
- User:I_Like_Turtles/The History of Turtles
Why is the Informant Always in Marrakesh?
That is the question from the Hitchhiker's Guide. Nobody knows why the informant is always in Marrakesh. Nobody.