There comes a time in a man's life, specifically around midnight before the dawn of a new week, where he realizes he has far too much homework to do and chooses, instead, to waste time on the Internet.
I have heard rumors of Uncyclopedia's decline whispered in the IRC room, or perhaps those were just the voices in my head, the same ones that tell me to huff the Main Page and dare me to ban 127.0.0.1. It matters not. No matter what school of thought you come from - "Uncyclopedia is just in a low point," "Uncyclopedia was better back in my day," "Uncyclopedia sucked less before <insert name here> came about," or even "Uncyclopedia is fine, what are all you buggers arguing about?" - I'm sure we can all agree on one thing: Uncyclopedia could be a lot better, or at least a lot less boring.
We have awesome parserfunctions, we've got a smooth deletion system, active admins out the wazoo and porn. Yet the site feels like it's missing something. "Ah," you think to yourself, "I know! It must be the lesbian porn." No, we have that too. I think we need to revive the very soul of Uncyclopedia itself - the users.
Therefore I officially cut the ribbon and begin the Missing User Project, or MUP for short. We all have our favorite users that have strayed from the wiki, or even just aren't as active anymore. Now's the time to contact them, even if just to ask what's up. Sure, they might not be part of the wiki, but who the fuck cares, we're a community FSM dammit, and they've become much more than usernames over time - they've become our friends. Or possibly our worst enemies and biggest annoyances on the Interwebs.
But never mind - now's the time to find them again. Drop them an email, check on Facebook, hunt them down on other IRC channels, maybe even (shudder) check MySpace. We're all Internet-savvy people, let's use our investigative skills like we did for Nin and Famine. This isn't just for people who have been missing for ages, but people that just haven't been on as much, or have been on but don't write or participate. Become a MUPpet today and "adopt" an inactive user or two.
The idea isn't to beg and plead for them to come back oh please god help us we're a pathetic wiki we need your amazing powers please please I'll mow your lawn, the idea is more to open up lines of communication between Uncyclopedians that have drifted away. If they come back, great; if they're done with Uncyclopedia, cool. But I know all of us have someone we're just dying to get in touch with, even just to tell them how much an article of theirs made us laugh, or how much their comments meant to us, or how they got us started as a noob... right, I've gone on way too long, you get the fucking idea. Let's just do it. –SirSkullthumper,MD(criticize•writings•formspring) 05:10 Oct 13, 2008
There's a school of thought dedicated to <insert name here> stinking up the joint? Flattering, I'm sure! --StyleGuide 09:11, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
Spam Promotional things
I've made {{MUP}} if anyone is interested in a userbox, {{MUP sig}} for anyone interested in putting a link to this in their sig using an icon, and {{MUP icon}} for people's userpages - an icon that shows up in the upper right of the userpage or talkpage. –SirSkullthumper,MD(criticize•writings•formspring) 00:35 Oct 19, 2008
Contact a user
I've located the original users on the list from Forum:Inactive User Survey, to get us started. If you'd like to pick someone to contact, sign your name under them. If you find any non-Uncyc contact information about the person, please do not put that info here; but keep us posted on any progress/responses! Oh, and please add to the list. - Dr. Skullthumper
Yea, AE did a lot of really useful stuff around the place which earned him his NotM. He had a really epic battle with his rival for the title that month. It would sure be nice to see that kinda competition for NotM again. Unfortunately we were a bit slow to react when AE asked us for help with one particular user who was causing trouble... I hope AE will decide to return one day... MrNFork you! 00:06, Oct 14
Yeah, if anyone knows where AE is it would be gurtly apurshiated. I miss this guy. Damn you, NXWave! sirsysrq@ 02:33 Dec 19
In honour of her commitment to proper English, I've added her to the list whilst maintaining alphabetical order. Anyway, has she got bored of World of Warcraft yet? --15Mickey20(talk to Mickey) 20:09, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
Yeah, where did Cheap go? I miss our slightly philosophical conversations late at night in the IRC. Almost as much as I miss the ridiculously small resolution he uploaded all of his images in. -RAHB 05:33, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
My less honored adoptees have all strayed! Le Cejak•<0:01 Oct 19, 2008>
This guy's still on IRC from time to time. I was talking to him before the proposed site move that never happened. Just ping wolf. He loves it. LieutenantTHEDUDEMANDude...TotallyUOTMKUNGotAF@H 23:37, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
He's getting his masters in spritzer bottle. He drives his tiny car to school and nine people get out. SirModusoperandiBoinc! 05:40, 14 December 2008 (UTC)
He was told by a bureaucrat in a personal email to "get the fuck off our wiki" and that if he continued to edit, he would be desysopped and permabanned. 71.125.81.32
And how do you know this, IP? Or: All the time, it was...bureaucrats finally really did it!! You maniacs! You got Skullthumper off our wiki! Ah, damn you! God...damn you all to hell! George Taylor 05:14, 16 December 2008 (UTC)
A joke I'm sure. Now get the fuck back on our wiki. Pants 05:25, 16 December 2008 (UTC)
Won't be happening. I told him if he ever comes back, I'll kick him in the throat. We're never gonna see that motherfucker again. /me sobssirsysrq@ 01:14 Dec 19
'The fuck? You can't hold this! You can't hold this! God, I just miss him so much...I miss that big faggot. I love him. I will find him. I will kill him.sirsysrq@ 02:31 Dec 19
You go and beg him to come back, right this minute, mister! SirModusoperandiBoinc! 03:38, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
what ever happened to emc? he dropped off the face of the earth right before the last PLS. his email is on his userpage, i'll drop him a line. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:36, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
I'd really like him to see how Grueslayer and Uncyclopedia in general is coming along, and I miss the son of a bitch. I'm going to try and find him and possibly Ghelae as well; they both played a part in Uncyclopedia games and I wish I could talk with them once more. It would be tits if they'd come back and work on Grueslayer with me, but one at a time. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 19:33, April 14, 2011 (UTC)
Me n' him's Facebook buddies, I'll give him a nudge. The fact he's studying medicine might have something to do with his absence though, so don't hold your breath. -- Sir CodeineK·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 12:29, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
Flammable...medicine?!?! ~ 14:21, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
We were talking about her on #uncyclopedia the other day and she seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth. It seems unlikely she accepted Diz The Great's offer of marriage and is probably not living with him, so I tried to contact her via the online wonder that is MySpace. No reply as of yet, but I'll update this missive should anything develop. RabbiTechno 20:11, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
Tell her we can always send Codeine to go get her and bring her back. — SirManticore 08:09, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
I can go have a talky to her over MSN when she next comes online if that sounds good. (Bonner) (Talk) Oct 16, 20:57
I don't think he really even wants to be back, but if you wish to speak to him he can be found on IRC, in #unforces, using the nick HanSolo, almost daily. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:15, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
So, it's agreed? Ban Kip at ?pedia and redirect him here?!?!? YEAS! Because yeas is apparently a word... Damn you spell check and your lies!!! --MegaPleb•Dexter111344•Complain here 20:13, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
I could do that, but then I'd have to kill you. You know too much already.. -- HindleyiteConverse 17:58, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
His reply on facebook. "Heyhey. I am rather ill at the moment, but knowing I'm missed is lovely. I really have wanted to come back, though finding the inspiration is tough." Inspire him! LieutenantTHEDUDEMANDude...TotallyUOTMKUNGotAF@H 14:48, 18 October 2008 (UTC)
I've searched high and low for Marcos Malo....he was the first helpful person I met on the site and responsible for some classic Uncyclopedic items. Come back, Marcos!!! -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
HELL YES! great idea :D --SirDJ~Irreverent 06:07, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
At this point I'd like to point out how I brought him back once before, when he wrote a rather good UnNews. I don't think he has the time to stick around permamnently, though. --15Mickey20(talk to Mickey) 15:25, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
As I said in my probably tl;dr mini-essay up there, this isn't just to bring people back, it's to open up lines of communication. A lot of users, from what I've seen, have older users that they'd love to talk to or even just see back for a little while, and I figured, why not have a semiorganized attempt to do so? –SirSkullthumper,MD(criticize•writings•formspring) 15:28 Oct 13, 2008
I am back. Have been for a week or two, as it happens. Was homeless as those with such empty lives as to be regular perusers of my userpage will know, but eventually found a nice lady who lets me live in her flat and sufficient cash to buy a new laptop (saved by sitting on street corners with a cardboard sign saying "Will conduct bar mitzvah for cash. PS, blowjobs £5.") Very good to be back, btw. RabbiTechno 20:08, 13 October 2008 (UTC) And might I add...
Y'know, as to where your first name ends and your last begins, I've never got your name right in my head. I would try to correct myself now, but this section is all about you, Rabbit. Also, welcome back. I don't know if you've heard, but Uncyclopedia is the worst. SirModusoperandiBoinc! 02:35, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
You can call me whatever you wish, honey. Afterall, you pay well. Oh, you're quite right - Uncyclopedia is the worst. RabbiTechno 19:00, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
A great writer and one of site's first admins. For anyone who might be wondering, it was Splaka who got me to sign up for an account way back when I was editing anonymously. He and User:Elvis helped me out a lot during my early days here. It'd be nice to see him around again. MadMax 05:53, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
Splaka's rather easy to contact, as he's usually around on IRC (#wikia, I think), but the biggest issue is actually convincing him that Uncyclopedia is still worthwhile at all. --TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 06:10, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
Bit like Lj, really, he's on break, it says on his page and everything he's busy with all sorts of stuff. But, anyone know how said stuff is going, and when he may be back? --UU - natter08:27, Oct 14
SysRq holds the dubious honour of being the only Uncyclopedian to be my friend on Facebook. I guess now's the time to take advantage of that fact. --15Mickey20(talk to Mickey) 19:27, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
Working hard on gaining qualifacations, building extentions to his house and producing more daughters....two clearly wasn't enough! -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
Winstanley was an excellent writer, but seems to have vanished without a trace. --TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 05:03, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
Another great writer from the old days. Came back for Conservation Week this year but hasn't been a regular editor for awhile. MadMax 08:19, 12 July 2009 (UTC)