User:Horses4Ever

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Hello :) I am Horses4Ever

Well, I know I'm probably supposed to be funny here, but I hope it's okay if I'm serious until I get better at being funny. ;) Right now I'm leaning a bit more to the "just stupid" side, I'm afraid.

Okay, here's a fairly normal description of a fairly normal person...

edit About Me

I am new to Uncyclopedia, and I am also new to Wikipedia, and I am very new to Illogicopedia, but I am not new to wikiHow. I have been editing and writing on wikiHow for a year now. As you can probably tell by looking at the design of this page, I have learned a bit about wikiMarkup and HTML from wikiHow. In fact, I have learned a lot from wikiHow. Unfortunately, humor was not one of them :P Like I said, I need to work on my humor a bit.

Well, let me rephrase that. I have a lot of trouble being funny over the internet. As a walking, talking person (as opposed to a fairly anonymous person on the internet), I have somewhat of a sense of humor. I almost always have a sarcastic comeback for any statement or insult. Below are some of my quotes. You may laugh, you may cry, you may throw tomatoes... anyway, please be nice when chewing my head off for this lousy humor ;)

Finder
This user is proud to use a Mac


edit Some of My (Not-so-Funny) Quotes

  • "It is possible to ride a horse backwards... but I would not do it without a good reason."
  • "Sooo... the sign that says "Do Not Pet Foal" was there for a reason, it seems."
  • (To friend who plays the trumpet) "For the last time, my clarinet is not a tooter. It is a sophisticated musical instrument. You, on the other hand, play a tooter."
  • "Kit [Horse, who cribs (chews on wood and sucks air at the same time)], exactly what is so tasty about wood? You chew on it all the time, but you've never told me why!"
  • "What's the point of history anyway? It's not like we can change it. And honestly, is anyone ever going to hold a gun to my head and ask me who signed the Declaration of Independence?... I didn't think so."
  • (With Oreo cookie stuffed in mouth) "Why would you ever think that I had actually taken your cookie while you had your back turned?"
  • "The whole point of polebending is to turn around the poles without hitting them. If this works, the poles should all be intact when we're done."
  • "Why do they call it barrel racing if the barrel never moves an inch?"
  • "Here's some advice... If you're jumping bareback, and you go over the fence before your horse does, you have a problem."
  • "Is it still considered "homework" if you do it on the bus? What if you get someone else to do it for you, on the bus?"
  • (Eating lunch in the school cafeteria) "You know, the tray probably tastes better than the food."
  • (Riding bareback) "I'm tired..." (Leaning over backwards, with head resting on horse's back) "Funny, my pillow has a backbone!"
  • (Slipping off horse, landing in dirt) "I guess I should've tightened my girth before I got on, huh?"
  • "This math homework is impossible! Even the calculator couldn't figure it out!"
  • "I can say all fifty states in alphabetical order! Want to hear? Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California... Hey, I guess we don't have any states that start with "B". Weird..."
  • "Why does the stuff in these tack catalogs always have to cost so much? I can't afford that stuff. In fact, unless someone will sell me a new saddle for about two bucks, I'm stuck."

Yeah, yeah... I imagine that wasn't exactly up to par with the rest of the site :P I believe the categorization would be... "Just stupid"?

edit Some of My Quirks

I said fairly normal person, didn't I? This may not exactly fall under the category of "funny", but you might as well know that I can be pretty weird sometimes

  • I do not bite my fingernails. I let them grow. They're almost always about half an inch long (at least).
  • I am an obsessive neat freak. I can't sleep until I know that all my stuff is put away perfectly :P
  • I am often bothered about the smallest, dumbest things. If I forget the name of say, a TV show character, I can't sleep, think, edit, do school work... anything... until I find out what the name is.
  • I am self-taught on piano. I am an awful piano teacher. Need I say more?
  • I sing even worse than I play the piano. I used to terrify the family cat when I tried. :P
  • I tend to be a bit of a daredevil when I ride horses. I enjoy riding without a saddle (bareback), but not only because it is fun... because, without a saddle, I can do even weirder things. I can ride laying on my back, sideways, backwards... and I can also tie my bootlaces on a moving horse ;)

edit Uncyclopedia Milestones

  • First edit -- July 24, 2007 (To my user page)
  • First somewhat-bold edit -- July 25, 2007 (Article was: Chicken Nugget)

edit Articles

... None at the moment.

Disclaimer: If the articles that I do plan to (eventually) submit are stupid, and not funny, it is not (entirely) my fault.

Since I have no sense of humor to speak of, I have decided to try making use of some of the joke articles that people create on wikiHow. On wikiHow, those articles are deleted. But some of them are a little bit funny... who knows, maybe they'll have a chance here...

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is this: Some of (if not most of :P) these articles will be considered lousy, and probably deleted. But, I did not come up with them, I just took up space on this site by adding them. Please forgive me! ;)

Articles that I may Submit in the Future:

These are just coming out of a folder on my computer. Some of them may never make it to Uncyclopedia, whether it be because they seem stupid (to me, at least), or because someone takes a look at this list, thinks I must be crazy, and tells me on my talk page never, ever, ever to add that crap to the site (you may feel free to do that).

Well, here's the list. Let me know what you think, if you have a moment :)

Note: All of these articles are in how-to format (duh, they came from wikiHow :P), so they will be added to the how-to section of the site. No, I am not so stupid that I will actually try to add these to the "encyclopedia" part of the site :P

  • How to Be Shallow and Unimaginative -- A huge joke on cliques and popularity. Might have some potential...
  • How to Hypnotize a Chicken -- Kind of stupid at the moment, but might pass for an article.
  • How to Pick Up Guys With a Matchbox -- This one was just weird :P
  • How to Survive in the Amazon -- Funnier than it sounds
  • How to Wedgie -- Uncyclopedia probably already has an article on this... but if you don't, and I do submit it, it will most likely be under a different name :P

Okay, feel free to yell. For your convenience, I have will post a link to my personal yelling page. ;)

edit User Boxes

I have a serious userbox addiction. :P Here are my wikiHow UserInfoBoxes -- Horses4Ever'S UIBs. I also have quite a few on my Wikipedia user page. In fact, the page isn't long enough for all the userboxes I wanted to use :P Take a look at the ones toward the bottom on the Wikipedia page. Those userboxes clearly state that I love userboxes, and that I have too many of them ;)

Well, here's the Uncyclopedia overload...

This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

Dexter
Sunglasses This user's future is so bright they've gotta wear shades.

Brain This user's IQ is Unknown.

Fortune cookie 20040628 223108 1 This user is being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory! A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card. Help!
FA-22 Raptor This user is an aeroplane, and can be annoying. No offence to pilots.
Face-angel This user is an angel.

This user is a girl and is made of sugar, spice and everything nice.

Monbags This user is POOR,

has never passed GO,

and never collected $200.00.


Ubx-
Crapload
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to Uncyclopedia:Templates/Userboxes.

Shyny ub This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
NO This user doesn't care.
Eeek! This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.
Ihasashuvel
This user gots a shuvel. Yes {{{1}}} does.
Color This user likes random colored userboxes.
Crystalball This user can see what you don't.
Sense This user promotes the radical idea of having sense.
Clarinet This user is a clarinet player, and as such is taunted by most boys.
Firefox Logo This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Dialing...
Verifying username and password...
Shit! This user contributes using dial-up!
Finder This user is a Mac User.
Eat up.
(List of Mac-Using Uncyclopedians)
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Ruff! Ruff Ruff! Arf! Arf!
AA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!
Tursiops truncatus head Eeek ahk sque'ek uhk kkkk'k squeek!
EBG13-A Guvf hfre vf n angvir fcrnxre bs EBG13.
Pi3.14 This user loves pi
253951 photo Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!
Head on

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Usb! No, really!


USB!!!!!11 NO, REALLY TRULY REALLY!!!!


Color This user likes random colored userboxes.
Kid1 This user seriously needs to calm down.
1+ This user has over 1 edit. Duh!
DramaticQuestionMark This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.
Crystal Clear app kcmdf This user likes to use redundant userboxes.
Nuvola apps important

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.


Geek This user is a geek.
n00b This user is a n00b.

Well, that's me for now :) I may add some more later, or I may not. Whatever I have time for ;)

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