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I do not agree to license my submissions under the House of Commons license, the Creative Common South Africans license or even the Gnu. I release content under my own terms, known as My Non-Free Documentation License, whereby everyone can read the content freely but must, after thirty days, eat a plate of peas stampeded by a herd of elephants. In addition, to reproduce the content you must contact my office in Kerguelen before shouting 'I have a thousand small cheeses in my pocket!' at the top of your voice whilst standing atop the highest building in your street.
edit Personal Terms
I am free to submit copyrighted work without permission because I am above the law. Literally - I live in a flat above the police station. For proof, see your local camping supply depot - they sell all sorts of tent proofing and some bent roofing.
My work will not be mercilessly edited and redistributed at Will because I killed Will. Also, you cannot reproduce content elsewhere because there is no content to distribute in the first place. Haha! You are, however, free to distribute the following:
- I once knew a guy named Dave
- He cut off his hand with a
- Ing stone
In addition, you are free to distribute papers, lies about my parenthood, football stickers and reliable distributors. But not Pogs, they suck.
I definitely did not write this myself, although the voices in my head had a significant input. What do you think I am, literate or something? No, I got my dictaphone to write this for me and a small beetle to do the spell checking.
I can assure you that all authors are attributed, retributed and destituted. The original Arthur has been notified and duly assassinated by blind clay pigeon shooters. I am also using this work for commercial gain, as I need £500 more for my holiday home in Azerbaijan. I am also using the work for commercial grain on my maize farm in Cheadle, and for commercial pain in my dungeon.
I have not copied this text from the public or even pubic domain. I have pulled it from the monster's domain in the Domainian Republic and pulped it beyond all recognition in order to claim it as my own work. In addition, I am not submitting my work here, but there.
I claim severance pay for anyone decapitated for the purposes of this document. Severence of other body parts are not covered under this license or even acts of God, Rod or a piece of cod. For that, see Mod. Severance of elephants is completely unrelated (not to mention inhumane and disgusting) and does not warrant a mention.
And if you believe all that you'll believe anything.