User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/97
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edit Episode 97: Bathroom (Un)Humour
(The episode begins just as the last had ended - sickle fighters surrounding the ship, with everyone in the ship cramped into a tiny bathroom compartment (it dosen's smell like flowers in there...), forced into there by The Doppelganger, disguised as Aquarii.)
Braycat: The scent is strong. The buffalo come.
Dizberg: You're kidding me, right?
(Scene to the cabin. Aquarii: is talking to Darth Communist on radio. Argon File pirates the signal.)
Argon: I'M BURNING CARPS!
Aquarii: Who the hell are you?
Argon: Call me Argon, and as long as you threaten Capitalism I shall burn random objects!
(Scene to the bathroom.)
Adam: It stinks in here!
Everybody inside: WE KNOW!
Froggy: Ew, ribbit.
Shamus: We're going to get out of here.
(Shamus rips out the septic tank from underneath where the toilet used to be and places it near the door.)
Shamus: Okay, everyone! Get your asses to the back of the room!
(Everyone but Shamus compacts to the back of the room. Shamus takes a match and lights the top of the septic tank on fire. The door blasts open, though everyone is covered in sewage and shrapnel. Aquarii. hears the explosion)
Aquarii.: Look. Something just happened. I'm going to have to deal with you a little later!
Argon: Just you wait! You don't come back here in five seconds and I will burn Lenin's Mausoleum!
(Aquarii. runs to the scene )
(Everybody is pointing either a rifle, a bow, or a machine gun at Aquarii. Aquarii. sniffs.)
Aquarii: Jesus Christ are you covered in sewage?
Han: No. The sewage is released of the Transport
Aquarri.: Good. I placed Benson and Aquarii in there.
Argon: I'M BURNING ROME!
Aqaurii.: Who cares?
(Shamus butts Aquarii.'s stomach with the blunt end of his rifle. Aquarii. falls to the ground in pain.)
Aquarii.: What are you going to do to me? Send me off into space?
Shamus: I think I'll just send you into that trash compacter.
Aquarii.: Dude, that's a kitchen appliance.
Adam: Yeah, I bought it off Buy mode in Strangetown.
(Shamus stuffs Aquarii. into the trash compacter and launches him on an intercept course with Jupiter)
Aquarii.: This isn't the last time I'll pester you!!!!
Dizberg: Now all we have to do is find Benson and Aquarii...
(Scene to Strangetown commie HQ)
(Aquarii spits at Darth. All of a sudden the door busts open and Argon comes in with a flamethrower on full blast. A trail of flames and dead guards leats behind him)
Argon: I'M BURNING DOWN THE COMMIE BASE!
Darth: Guards! Seize him!
(The guards are burnt to a crisp.)
Argon: I BURN STUFF!
(Argon starts burning chloroform gas canisters in the corner of the room)
Aquarii: Last time on 24!
(Aquarii explodes the only light bulb in the room)
Benson: WHAT KIND OF ACTION MOVE IS THAT?!
(Darth uses the force to puncture a hole in Argon's gas canister)
Argon: No fun!
Darth: Ohhh... There's plenty more where that came from Pyro boy! <Force chokes Argon>
Argon: (Gasping for air)
(Imperial March plays)
(The light socket crashes down onto Darth starting to eletrecute him.)
(Switch scenes back to the transport, now in communication with the Peace Corps aboard Corsaire's star destroyer.)
Emmzed: Sickle fighters, three o'clock... and six o'clock... and nine o'clock...
(A communist star cruiser hyperspaces into the area)
Han: Shit. It looks like we've got some bigger problems right now...
(Han closes the connection and gets into his X-Wing. Dizberg and Emmzed man the cannons. A commie fighter with bent sickles comes into view and tails Han.)
Darth: I have you now.
(Darth shoots, credits roll.)