User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/97

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edit Episode 97: Bathroom (Un)Humour

(The episode begins just as the last had ended - sickle fighters surrounding the ship, with everyone in the ship cramped into a tiny bathroom compartment (it dosen's smell like flowers in there...), forced into there by The Doppelganger, disguised as Aquarii.)

Braycat: The scent is strong. The buffalo come.

Dizberg: You're kidding me, right?

(Scene to the cabin. Aquarii: is talking to Darth Communist on radio. Argon File pirates the signal.)


Aquarii: Who the hell are you?

Argon: Call me Argon, and as long as you threaten Capitalism I shall burn random objects!

(Scene to the bathroom.)

Adam: It stinks in here!

Everybody inside: WE KNOW!

Froggy: Ew, ribbit.

Shamus: We're going to get out of here.

Nikita: How?

(Shamus rips out the septic tank from underneath where the toilet used to be and places it near the door.)

Shamus: Okay, everyone! Get your asses to the back of the room!

(Everyone but Shamus compacts to the back of the room. Shamus takes a match and lights the top of the septic tank on fire. The door blasts open, though everyone is covered in sewage and shrapnel. Aquarii. hears the explosion)

Aquarii.: Look. Something just happened. I'm going to have to deal with you a little later!

Argon: Just you wait! You don't come back here in five seconds and I will burn Lenin's Mausoleum!

(Aquarii. runs to the scene )

(Everybody is pointing either a rifle, a bow, or a machine gun at Aquarii. Aquarii. sniffs.)

Aquarii: Jesus Christ are you covered in sewage?

Han: No. The sewage is released of the Transport

Aquarri.: Good. I placed Benson and Aquarii in there.


Aqaurii.: Who cares?

(Shamus butts Aquarii.'s stomach with the blunt end of his rifle. Aquarii. falls to the ground in pain.)

Aquarii.: What are you going to do to me? Send me off into space?

Shamus: I think I'll just send you into that trash compacter.

Aquarii.: Dude, that's a kitchen appliance.

Adam: Yeah, I bought it off Buy mode in Strangetown.

(Shamus stuffs Aquarii. into the trash compacter and launches him on an intercept course with Jupiter)

Aquarii.: This isn't the last time I'll pester you!!!!

Dizberg: Now all we have to do is find Benson and Aquarii...

(Scene to Strangetown commie HQ)

Benson: VILLAIN!

(Aquarii spits at Darth. All of a sudden the door busts open and Argon comes in with a flamethrower on full blast. A trail of flames and dead guards leats behind him)


Darth: Guards! Seize him!

(The guards are burnt to a crisp.)


(Argon starts burning chloroform gas canisters in the corner of the room)

Aquarii: Last time on 24!

(Aquarii explodes the only light bulb in the room)


(Darth uses the force to puncture a hole in Argon's gas canister)

Argon: No fun!

Darth: Ohhh... There's plenty more where that came from Pyro boy! <Force chokes Argon>

Argon: (Gasping for air)

(Imperial March plays)

Darth: Haha...hahahah-

(The light socket crashes down onto Darth starting to eletrecute him.)

(Switch scenes back to the transport, now in communication with the Peace Corps aboard Corsaire's star destroyer.)

Emmzed: Sickle fighters, three o'clock... and six o'clock... and nine o'clock...

(A communist star cruiser hyperspaces into the area)

Han: Shit. It looks like we've got some bigger problems right now...

(Han closes the connection and gets into his X-Wing. Dizberg and Emmzed man the cannons. A commie fighter with bent sickles comes into view and tails Han.)

Darth: I have you now.

(Darth shoots, credits roll.)

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away...

This script is an episode of


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