User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/70

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edit Episode 70: Big Commie Missile!

(This episode starts outside the destroyed base. Priest is still inside.)

Adam: Priest is missing!

(Priest comes running out a secret passageway, badly injured. Dr. Supwealuhop heals him with curry powder)

Supwealuhop: For the love of Gandhi, is there no limit to the madness?

Dizberg: I am tired. We have not slept since this whole thing began.

Ronalds: I know.

(The group sets up camp and goes to bed. A mysterious guy creeps into Shandion's dog's tent, and kills the dog. He is then identified as Blaning Serian, serial killer.)

Blaning: That dog never saw it coming.

Shandion: MY DOG!

Nikita: So what? My car, Benson's car, Han's dropship, the potato ship, multiple planes, some random dude's house, a bar, Braycat's horse, Dizberg's statues, Corsaire's clipper, the Baron's mansion, some glass, a lot of walls, a tree, and Alka'anad's base have all been destroyed in a matter of a few days. Why should we care about your dog in all of this? Probably billions of dollars in damages have been done!

Han: We should care because that dog knocked out Engelsfair once.

(Engelsfair wakes up)

Engelsfair: My pamphlets, hammer, and sickle are destroyed!

Nikita: Add the pamphlets, hammer, and sickle to that list.

Emmzed: And my axe. It was a family heirloom, probably worth millions.

Nikita: Really?

Emmzed: No. I bought it at Sears for $38.

Aquarii: My 24 1st Season DVD!

Blaning: I have a mental age of a two year old!

Nikita: Well isn't that special?

(Nikita waps Blaning upside the head with his metal cane. He is instantly knocked out, but recovers quickly.)

Nikita: That'll keep him...hey, where did my cane go?

Dizberg: My Ouroboros totem!

Adam: One of my laptops!

Benson: MY BENSON STATUE!

Blaning: Die!

(Blaning hits Benson in the head.)

Blaning: Ha!

(Han shoots Blaning, who dies. Blaning comes back to life as Pool Boy)

Han: Where'd my gun go?

Evil Guard #3: (Eating donut) Don't ask me. Maybe it's that chap sneaking around back there.

Starnes: Hi-YA!

(Starnes stabs guard, and kills him.)

Starnes: You didn't see anything here!

(Starnes backs up, trips on a rock and starts falling down the slope of the mountain)

Dizberg: Well...now how are we supposed to get our stuff back?

Blaning: By dying.

(Blaning stabs a grue, and is eaten, but comes back to life as Kill Blaning)

Adam: Simple, they are behind that big rock that has been wallpapered communist.

Engelsfair: The Communist rock! And this is one nice Communist Party!

(Han crushes Engelsfair's arm)

Engelsfair: Ow!

Han: You know how much I hate that pun.

Braycat: What is a wallpaper?

Engelsfair: COMMUNISM!

Han: You suck, Engelsfair.

Ronalds: Communist Powah!

(Engelsfair slices Blaning up with a second sickle, Blaning comes back to life as Kill Me, and runs)

Blaning: Fools!

(Han pushes Blaning down the mountain. Starnes just got up after his tripping incident.)

Starnes: At least I can steal sell these fools' items on the theives' market!

(Blaning falls on Starnes)

Starnes: Mother?

Blaning: No, Blaning!

(Blaning takes all his posessions and throws them in a nearby river)

Starnes: (on knees) NOOOOOOOOOO!

Blaning: Quit trying to be so dramatic! Jeez!

(Camera moves back to the group.)

Dizberg: Okay...so, what now?

Han: Weren't we supposed to get some ring of some sort?

Adam: Ah, yes, the Baron's ring.

Dizberg: So we're supposed to go all the way back to get that ring? How?

Engelsfair: With COMMUNISM!

(Engelsfair presses a button on his red blackberry. A taepodong missile comes to pick them up.)

Engelsfair: Hop on the COMMIE express!

Han: God, how I hate you.

(Everyone goes on, and they head to the USA, where the Baron's mansion is. Switch scenes to the pentagon. Robert Gates, the secretary of defense, watches them as a blip on their radar screen.)

Gates: What the hell is that?!

Operator: It seems like a North Korean Taepodong missle, sir, headed for New York!

Gates: Those commie bastards! Send and intercept missle. They're not going to get away with destroying this great nation that easily!

(Credits roll)

Watch the next episode...

This script is an episode of

Episodes:

54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60 - 61 - 62 - 63 - 64 - 65 - 66 - 67 - 69 - 70 - 71 - 72 - 73 - 75 - 76 - 77 - 78 - 79 - 80 - 81 - 82 - 83 - 84 - 85 - 86 - 87 - 88 - 89 - 90 - 91 - 95 - 97 - 100 - 102 - 104 - 105 - 106 - 107 - 108 - 109 - 110

Episode lists and summary - List of characters

Spinoffs:

The TYATU Talk Show!

TYATU Guest Episodes:

NOTE: Guest episodes have absolutely no relavance the the plot of TYATU.

Genesis - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

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