User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/70

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edit Episode 70: Big Commie Missile!

(This episode starts outside the destroyed base. Priest is still inside.)

Adam: Priest is missing!

(Priest comes running out a secret passageway, badly injured. Dr. Supwealuhop heals him with curry powder)

Supwealuhop: For the love of Gandhi, is there no limit to the madness?

Dizberg: I am tired. We have not slept since this whole thing began.

Ronalds: I know.

(The group sets up camp and goes to bed. A mysterious guy creeps into Shandion's dog's tent, and kills the dog. He is then identified as Blaning Serian, serial killer.)

Blaning: That dog never saw it coming.

Shandion: MY DOG!

Nikita: So what? My car, Benson's car, Han's dropship, the potato ship, multiple planes, some random dude's house, a bar, Braycat's horse, Dizberg's statues, Corsaire's clipper, the Baron's mansion, some glass, a lot of walls, a tree, and Alka'anad's base have all been destroyed in a matter of a few days. Why should we care about your dog in all of this? Probably billions of dollars in damages have been done!

Han: We should care because that dog knocked out Engelsfair once.

(Engelsfair wakes up)

Engelsfair: My pamphlets, hammer, and sickle are destroyed!

Nikita: Add the pamphlets, hammer, and sickle to that list.

Emmzed: And my axe. It was a family heirloom, probably worth millions.

Nikita: Really?

Emmzed: No. I bought it at Sears for $38.

Aquarii: My 24 1st Season DVD!

Blaning: I have a mental age of a two year old!

Nikita: Well isn't that special?

(Nikita waps Blaning upside the head with his metal cane. He is instantly knocked out, but recovers quickly.)

Nikita: That'll keep him...hey, where did my cane go?

Dizberg: My Ouroboros totem!

Adam: One of my laptops!


Blaning: Die!

(Blaning hits Benson in the head.)

Blaning: Ha!

(Han shoots Blaning, who dies. Blaning comes back to life as Pool Boy)

Han: Where'd my gun go?

Evil Guard #3: (Eating donut) Don't ask me. Maybe it's that chap sneaking around back there.

Starnes: Hi-YA!

(Starnes stabs guard, and kills him.)

Starnes: You didn't see anything here!

(Starnes backs up, trips on a rock and starts falling down the slope of the mountain)

Dizberg: how are we supposed to get our stuff back?

Blaning: By dying.

(Blaning stabs a grue, and is eaten, but comes back to life as Kill Blaning)

Adam: Simple, they are behind that big rock that has been wallpapered communist.

Engelsfair: The Communist rock! And this is one nice Communist Party!

(Han crushes Engelsfair's arm)

Engelsfair: Ow!

Han: You know how much I hate that pun.

Braycat: What is a wallpaper?

Engelsfair: COMMUNISM!

Han: You suck, Engelsfair.

Ronalds: Communist Powah!

(Engelsfair slices Blaning up with a second sickle, Blaning comes back to life as Kill Me, and runs)

Blaning: Fools!

(Han pushes Blaning down the mountain. Starnes just got up after his tripping incident.)

Starnes: At least I can steal sell these fools' items on the theives' market!

(Blaning falls on Starnes)

Starnes: Mother?

Blaning: No, Blaning!

(Blaning takes all his posessions and throws them in a nearby river)

Starnes: (on knees) NOOOOOOOOOO!

Blaning: Quit trying to be so dramatic! Jeez!

(Camera moves back to the group.)

Dizberg:, what now?

Han: Weren't we supposed to get some ring of some sort?

Adam: Ah, yes, the Baron's ring.

Dizberg: So we're supposed to go all the way back to get that ring? How?

Engelsfair: With COMMUNISM!

(Engelsfair presses a button on his red blackberry. A taepodong missile comes to pick them up.)

Engelsfair: Hop on the COMMIE express!

Han: God, how I hate you.

(Everyone goes on, and they head to the USA, where the Baron's mansion is. Switch scenes to the pentagon. Robert Gates, the secretary of defense, watches them as a blip on their radar screen.)

Gates: What the hell is that?!

Operator: It seems like a North Korean Taepodong missle, sir, headed for New York!

Gates: Those commie bastards! Send and intercept missle. They're not going to get away with destroying this great nation that easily!

(Credits roll)

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