User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/56

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edit Episode #56:Bleeding Relations

(Scene opens in the bar. Shamus is dead and Adam and Indy are lying on the floor, bleeding profusely.)

Engelsfair: Communism will save you both!

(Engelsfair bandages their wounds WITH COMMUNISM!)

Adam: Now, die, Indy.

Indy: You die, scumbag.

Adam: You mean Engelsfair?

Indy: No, you.

Han: First of all, there are two first aid kits in the plane. Second of all, Engelsfair should die first.

Adam: Everybody knows tha- THERE ARE FIRST AID KITS IN THE PLANE?

Emmzed: Who needs first aid? Here in Canada, we have national healthcare!

Dizberg: Actually, Indy, you will die. Two against one. The Ouroborosists will win! Donuts for all!

(Indy miraculously recovers and gets back up on his feet.)

Indy: FU DIZBERG! Nobody wants your gay donuts!

Engelsfair: Hey, I do help in emergencies. Plus, the safe is only accessable by communists.

Han: So we do need you, Engelsfair?

Engelsfair: Yes. Plus, I am a master with the hammer and the sickle.

(Indy and Adam swordfight.)

Priest: Actually, Mr. Engelsfair, I have decided to become a Communist!

Engelsfair: Yay!

Priest: Just joking.

Engelsfair: Dammit!

(Dr. Supwealuhop enters on the scene)

Supwealuhop: My God!

(Dr. Supwealuhop walks in, sprinkles curry powder on Shamus, and says a few sanskrit incantations)

Supwealuhop: Sanasananagolihohaluaaae!

(Shamus is restored, and immmediately creates a millwall brick and knocks out the Doctor)

Shamus: And now fer the rest of ye!

(Shamus takes spare change out of his pocket and makes brass knuckles to add to his Millwall brick.)

Engelsfair: I'll take you on.

(Engelsfair gets out a hammer and sickle)

Shamus: So ya think so, laddie?

(Engelsfair throws his sickle, pinning Shamus's hat to the wall behind him.)

Shamus: Oh no. Ya didn't do what I think ya done, laddie? Never take off an Irishman's hat!

(Shamus knocks out Engelsfair with a single punch)

Adam: I don't think so!

(Adam draws a sword)

Shamus: Do ya think you can defeat me with that toothpick, laddie? Get real.

Adam: Frankly, no.

(Adam takes out a stilleto and throws it into Shamus's spleen)

Shamus: Damn ya, laddie! I still live!

Han: There are weapons in the plane. It WAS a soldier transport until it crashed.

Adam: Is there anything that can't be found in the plane?

(Han supplies everyone with rifles, except for Engelsfair)

Engelsfair: How is that fair?

Han: Communism can help you, right?

Han: Yes.

Engelsfair: Communism will save you!

(Engelsfair quickly kills Shamus with a hammer and sickle.)

Han: ENGELSFAIR, JUST STAY DOWN!

Benson: GREAT YELLING HAN!

Engelsfair: Communism!

(Everybody points their rifles at Engelsfair)

Indy: CONTENTS!

(Everybody points their rifles at Indy)

Engelsfair: COMMUNISM!

(Everybody points thier rifles at Engelsfair)

Engelsfair: The safe is only accessable by Communists.

Emmzeed: We are in Canada. Why don't we use a Canadian Superweapon Transport?

Han: Good idea!

Adam: Execute Indy immediately.

(Credits roll)


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