User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/56
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edit Episode #56:Bleeding Relations
(Scene opens in the bar. Shamus is dead and Adam and Indy are lying on the floor, bleeding profusely.)
Engelsfair: Communism will save you both!
(Engelsfair bandages their wounds WITH COMMUNISM!)
Adam: Now, die, Indy.
Indy: You die, scumbag.
Adam: You mean Engelsfair?
Indy: No, you.
Han: First of all, there are two first aid kits in the plane. Second of all, Engelsfair should die first.
Adam: Everybody knows tha- THERE ARE FIRST AID KITS IN THE PLANE?
Emmzed: Who needs first aid? Here in Canada, we have national healthcare!
Dizberg: Actually, Indy, you will die. Two against one. The Ouroborosists will win! Donuts for all!
(Indy miraculously recovers and gets back up on his feet.)
Indy: FU DIZBERG! Nobody wants your gay donuts!
Engelsfair: Hey, I do help in emergencies. Plus, the safe is only accessable by communists.
Han: So we do need you, Engelsfair?
Engelsfair: Yes. Plus, I am a master with the hammer and the sickle.
(Indy and Adam swordfight.)
Priest: Actually, Mr. Engelsfair, I have decided to become a Communist!
Priest: Just joking.
(Dr. Supwealuhop enters on the scene)
Supwealuhop: My God!
(Dr. Supwealuhop walks in, sprinkles curry powder on Shamus, and says a few sanskrit incantations)
(Shamus is restored, and immmediately creates a millwall brick and knocks out the Doctor)
Shamus: And now fer the rest of ye!
(Shamus takes spare change out of his pocket and makes brass knuckles to add to his Millwall brick.)
Engelsfair: I'll take you on.
(Engelsfair gets out a hammer and sickle)
Shamus: So ya think so, laddie?
(Engelsfair throws his sickle, pinning Shamus's hat to the wall behind him.)
Shamus: Oh no. Ya didn't do what I think ya done, laddie? Never take off an Irishman's hat!
(Shamus knocks out Engelsfair with a single punch)
Adam: I don't think so!
(Adam draws a sword)
Shamus: Do ya think you can defeat me with that toothpick, laddie? Get real.
Adam: Frankly, no.
(Adam takes out a stilleto and throws it into Shamus's spleen)
Shamus: Damn ya, laddie! I still live!
Han: There are weapons in the plane. It WAS a soldier transport until it crashed.
Adam: Is there anything that can't be found in the plane?
(Han supplies everyone with rifles, except for Engelsfair)
Engelsfair: How is that fair?
Han: Communism can help you, right?
Engelsfair: Communism will save you!
(Engelsfair quickly kills Shamus with a hammer and sickle.)
Han: ENGELSFAIR, JUST STAY DOWN!
Benson: GREAT YELLING HAN!
(Everybody points their rifles at Engelsfair)
(Everybody points their rifles at Indy)
(Everybody points thier rifles at Engelsfair)
Engelsfair: The safe is only accessable by Communists.
Emmzeed: We are in Canada. Why don't we use a Canadian Superweapon Transport?
Han: Good idea!
Adam: Execute Indy immediately.