User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/107

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edit Episode 107:Aquarii's House of Scrubs

(The episode begins in the hospital)

All Doctors: You are the clown. We recognise you. Go ENTERTAIN THE EBOLA PATIENT.

Ronalds: Dammit.

Doctor #3: You still have the red nose on.

Doctor #1: The shoes too.

Ronalds: But I REALLY do have a doctorate. See? <shows his doctorate>

Doctor #2: I know what a real doctorate looks like. That is a fake. And it is a doctorate in "commiecommiecommie".

Ronalds: Damnit. Fine. <leaves the room>

Doctor #2: ROUND ONE - FIGHT BEGIN OPERATION!

(Outside the room, Ronalds gets into his "Ubermensch" disguise. His radio goes off.)

Darth: What are you doing?

Ronalds: Trying to get in. <enters the room>

Ronalds: I AM UBERMENSCH!!!

Aquarii: Lets see...<punches Ronalds, who runs out of the room>

Keira: (Heavy panting)

Aquarii: what the hell are you doing? Aren't you doctors? DO SOMETHING!

(Doctors start the operation)

Ronalds: Whatever. <Is hit by an egg thrown by the Ebola patient>

(A doctor comes by and watches Ronalds.)

Doctor #4: Hey, let's all point and laugh at the loser express!

Ronalds: Who are you supposed to be, Perry Cox?

Doctor #4: Well, actually I'm Hinoa Cox. I'm not as sarcastic nor as funny as my brother but it still makes me laugh that you are such a loser.

Ronalds: Hinoa!?! You! You!!! You!!! YOU!!!

Hinoa: Don't bust a vein, there Tiffany.

Ronalds: YOU!!!! THE SCHOOL BULLY WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL!!!

(Scene to the Commie Base, a huge battle erupted.)

Adam: FOR NARNIA! AND FOR ASLAN! <Fires QVFD gun>

Cerid: What are you yelling? <fires a pistol>

Adam: Just referencing good books. HE HAS A UNIBROW AND A TATOO OF AN EYE ON HIS ANKLE! HE MUST BE COUNT OLAF!!! <shoots a commie>

Han: Dang, that robot followed us!

PONG-05: <looks at the camera> Typical...Humans can be so robotists at times, shame! Shame on ye!

(Nikita places a magnet with a banana onto PONG-05's head. PONG thinks he's in WW-II)

PONG-05: AXIS AND ALLIES!

(Pong turns his arm into a chaingun)

(Dizberg throws a snake at PONG, blowing it up)

Zatoichi: BUT THAT THING KICKED ASS!

CommTrooper: We need more troops!

(Scene to the Hospital. Ronalds had busted a vein and is now in a hostpital bed.)

Hinoa: Christ, I didn't know how much of a wussy you were. Would you like me to get a care bear so you can feel all better?

Ebola Patient: Ha ha h-(Throws up blood)

Ronalds: Shutup.

(In Keira's room...)

Doctor #3: What the fuck? Stop playing with the syringe, Doctor!

Doctor #1: Why? It's fun.

Aquarii: Worst. Hospital. Ever.

Doctor #1: This is how I'm going to drink my coffee from now on.

Doctor #2: I get dibs on the x-ray machine after when we're on break!

Keira: Please... help...

(Doctor #2 and Doctor #3 tend to Keira)

Keira: (screaming)

(Meanwhile on the battlefield)

Zatoichi: I must avenge the knight's death with honor!

(Zatoichi takes out his katana screaming and slashing wildly, only to hit a wall.)

Zatoichi: Son of a bitch!

(Back in the hospital)

Keira: What...is...this...hospital...called?

Doctor #2: Worst Ever Hospital.

Aquarii: I agree.

Doctor #3: Alright, the baby is almost out...

Doctor #1: Prepare the Cute Snugglebug.

Keira: For...the...baby?

Doctor #1: Of course not! It's for me!

Keira: (Heavy panting, then a scream)

Aquarii: It will be all right, Keira, you'll be okay...

Doctor #2: It's a breach baby!

Doctor #1: What the hell is that?

Doctor #2: It's a baby that comes out, feet first.

Doctor #1: Can I have sex with the baby?

Keira: What...

Everyone else: NO!

Doctor #1: How about sex with the nurse?

Nurse: Sure, James!

(The nurse and Doctor #1 have sex)

Doctor #3: Can we get a trained person in here?

(Doctor #2 pages Hinoa to the operating room.)

Hinoa: Well, Tiff, I've got to go. Oh, and here's your care bear so you can feel wanted, yes you can!

(Hinoa gives Ronalds a carebear. He starts to cry.)

Hinoa: Hug him and he'll say adorable phrases that might make you feel like you have an actual security blanket.

(Hinoa leaves to the operating room.)

Hinoa: Well, Keira, the baby will come out just after I play darts in this room.

Doctor #3: I thought you said this guy was trai...

(Hinoa gets 50 bullseyes)

Hinoa: You were saying, Bob? Well, let me get this over and done with so I can antagonize Lassie.

(Hinoa completes the operation rather easily)

Doctor #1: It's a...care bear!!!

Hinoa: It is a boy, dimwit!!!

Aquarii and Keira: Lets call him Kim Bauer Aquarii!!! NOW!

Doctor #1: Can I have sex with him and then throw him out the window onto the cute pink thingy?

(Aquarii breaks the Doctor's fingers and shoots him in the foot)

Keira: The baby's beautiful.

Doctor #1: Can I have a band-aid please?

Everyone else: NO!

Doctor #2: Okay Keira, your baby shall be in the nursery. You will be discharged in two weeks.

Keira: Thank you.

(Ronalds runs into the room)

Ronalds: No, but you can watch as I take the baby away!

(Ronalds snatches the baby, but Hinoa gets him by his patient suit)

Aquarii: GET BACK HERE, NOW!

(Aquarii shoots Ronalds and saves Kim B.)

Kim: Goo goo ga ga Ronalds bad bad commie.

Keira: He said his first words already...

Aquarii: Aww, he said his first anti-communist word, soon he'll be able to handle a P-90. That's my boy!

Kim: Goo goo previously ga 24.

Hinoa: How about I get you in your old suit Ronalds?

Ronalds: NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Hinoa: Strap him down, Bob!

Kim: Ba ga goo natives good goo commies bad bad. Me Aspie.

(Scene to the Commie base. The heroes stole a truck, and are escaping the base. Dizberg is driving. Adam, Han, and Braycat are in the truck bed shooting at communists)

Darth: STOP THAT TRUCK!

(An entire platooon of CommTroopers follow the truck. Adam changes into a Hapkido(Korean martial art) gee. He is a Black and White Stripe belt.)

Han: They're sending jeeps with 9mms!

Braycat: Aquarii and Keira are missing, they may be foul, but I still miss them. (Fires arrows)

Adam: I need to practice my Hapkido.

Indy: Hapkido?

Adam: A Korean martial art. <does great roundhouse kick, snapping the neck of a commie climbing on the truck>

(The jeeps catch up, and fire)

Adam: GET DOWN!

(Credits roll, with Doctor #1 labeled as "idiot")

Watch the next episode, and look out for idiotic doctors...

This script is an episode of

Episodes:

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Episode lists and summary - List of characters

Spinoffs:

The TYATU Talk Show!

TYATU Guest Episodes:

NOTE: Guest episodes have absolutely no relavance the the plot of TYATU.

Genesis - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

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