User:Hess the Mess

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la-F This user got an F in Latin and likes their native language better (if they have one).
Lotus This user is a reincarnation of Red Pollard.
Guitar-22px This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
Smoking Sign
This user adept of suicide in small fees. Cool, aint it?
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
Coffee sm
This user requires a steady supply of Caffeine.
So hand it over. NOW.
(List of users who NEED caffeine)

Msyclopaintia This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
il-4 This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level.
Grandpiano This user is a big pianist, and as such believes they are better than all other musicians.
uk-X This user only speaks Correct English enough to seduce native Correct English speakers.
re-P This f****r speaks Recondite English heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

Popeeyebeams This user is a complete, irredeemable suicide bomber. He/she/it is Bat Fuck Insane, and eats at the suicide bomber.

edit Noob Alert!

Long time Uncyclopedia lurker, first time account holder. Mostly here to fix stupid (or more likely create it until I get used to all this).

Anyone want to be my mentor?

edit Anyhow...

I'm a relatively shy, elusive creature. My favourite musical genres are death metal and any folk subgenres. I'm a girl, in the physiological sense. I'm a feminist. I hate most feminists. I hate most people who hate feminists. I'm from midwestern America, but people tend to ask me if I'm from another country because I apparently have some sort of slight Western European accent.

I'm pretty critique-sensitive, so please be an asshole until I get used to it.

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