User:Heerenveen/Going to have new shoes fitted
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You're striding along that massive field next to your house, for no other reason than boredom (and the fact that the wife made you). Moaning didn't help, and you wander around with a very blank look on your face, not that you are capable of displayinh many emotions normally. Suddenly, you feel a lot of slop on your foot, and realise that the shoe on your foot has disintegrated with the speed of an Olympian, in a top hat, on steroids.
You get home, and the wife sees your sorry state. Not even giving you time to clean yourself up, she leads you, as well as your children, dog, and portable hoover out towards the car. You look at her curiously, to which she replies: "Yes, that's right! It's time for you to go to have your new shoes fitted!"
edit The store
After being unceremoniously dumped by the wife (and not for the first time, we hear), you go into that shop named "Boots" on the corner. After five minutes or so, you finally realise that Boots do not sell boots, but, rather, objects to make people even faker than they really are. Feeling stupid, a regular occurence in your daily life, you enter an actual shoe shop.
The place is irrevocably clean. Seriously, you could drop all the rubbish that McDonald's produces in a year, and this place would still look like it had just come off of an encounter with some soap. Enjoying the stunning contrast with the standard state of your stately shelter, you head to the displays to pick your next haven of smell.