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From: User:Happytimes/Zzz/2009Q4-2of8

edit Hey, man

I have to call you out on this one: Your "rewrites" for CW completely sucked. I'm serious. Name one good thing about any of the articles you claimed you rewrote. You can't, can you? You can't even find them. They left for a Suckaholics Anonymous meeting. You can meet them there if you want. It's at the corner of Completely Avenue and Sucks Street. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 02:46, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Wellll... fuck, it's better than the one-and-a-half paragraph you did on Spleen, so there! I can defend my edits & works & junk & stuff... plus I spell checked. Good 'nuff?  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  03:01, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
No. You didn't even remove the CW templates from the articles you claim you're "done" with! What kind of a 2-bit operation do you think we're running here, man? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 03:10, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
They're paying us two bits now?!? No Way!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  04:50, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
It's a lot better than the old wage of one bit. You know what you can buy with one bit? Half a gumball. Or a whole ABC gumball. Not much else. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 05:51, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
M,m,m,m,m,m, ABC Gum! .... Hey wait a minutes! I *actually* read the stuffs on the CW page & it doesn't mention removing the template after bein' done with an article. Furthermoreith it verily doth sayith, "Make your rewrite better than the article replaced before it, but try to include funny material from the old page, if it has any." It doesn't state how much more betters it has to be and I believe I have exceeded the barest minimum by at least a quarter of an inch. (Well, at least one-eighth anyway.) I copy edited, injected random humor, spell checked, added some (funny to me) sentences/structures and fixed some outright crap that lived in those funky textafull nuggets. (Quite frankly, the rules are a little loose & open to interpretation anyway.) But you do have a point ----> I'll get those cleaned up a little bit. 'Sides the portion of those articles that really strokes my ego will reside on my user pages anyway. P.S. No, you suck! (Or Something....).  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  07:04, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, you're right that there are no rules about what your rewrite should be like. This isn't Uncyclopedia speaking. I'm telling you on a personal man-to-man level that you suck. I'm only saying something because I watch Cat for vandalism as it's a frequent IP target. I was excited when I saw that someone was rewriting it, but just by glancing at it I can't really tell the difference. It's still a long, listy article full of disjointed sections and random pictures. You removed some vandalism and fixed some spelling, and even wrote a section, but when all is said and done, the article still needs rewriting. That's not very flattering to say your rewrite needs rewriting, so the only proper course of action is to keep rewriting it until it no longer needs rewriting. And then you're done. Look at the other rewrites for CW (not mine) and you'll see that they put a lot of (well, some) thought into what the main idea of the article should be and how to take it in that direction. That's what separates a true rewrite from a helpful driveby: in addition to just tidying up the article, they pull it together and take it somewhere. My first featured article Teabag everything that moves was a rewrite for CW and you can see that I overhauled the whole thing. The Dog Dies at the End (SPOILER WARNING) is another featured rewrite that took an amusing concept and gave it life. No one expects you to write a FA-quality article but before you can call the article "yours" you should be thinking more like a writer and less like a WikiFairy.
In conclusion, you're a fairy. That's all I really wanted to say. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:21, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Just so you know, I wasn't serious about all that sucking. I was just following the Bizarro Rules. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:33, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
Except, my dear sir Syndrome, you appear to be breaking Uncyclopedia rule Numero Uno: DON'T BE A DICK. Please stop harassing my Noob. You may, from now on, direct any and all verbal insults at me, but kindly leave Happytimes alone (unless your criticisms are constructive). I will review the content you are concerned with, and we will take it from there. For your convenience, here is a link to my talk page ->  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 06:39, 29 November 2009
First of all, no u, and second of all, that's rule Numero Dos. ¿La gringa no puede contar? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 07:13, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
So you've heard of the rule, then? Yes? Again, --->  –  FuhQ.gifFuhQ  ZDsig.gifZDsig Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 07:23, 29 November 2009
Ah, ha ha ha ha! (Gee, this just ruins the timing of the response* I thought up after Syn's last post, ((I've been working on Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball stuff (((& got side tracked revamping the Uncyclopedia:Proofreading Service))) & hadn't gotten around to finishing it & posting it yet.)) but do know that Syn's a nice not-evil guy, I did some checking up on him (history/edits/contributions/connections with the Russian mob; In Russia they provide you with background Czech!) and figured out he was a force for good on Uncych.)
Anytrail, thank you so much for sticking up for me Zana! It makes me feel all Christmassy and warm inside. These responses to comments always take so long... I haven't even said thank you to Rev. Zim_ulator yet. pffffft!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  10:44, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

  • *So.... My full-assed response to SYNDROME was gonna kinda go like this: I was gonna sputter a bit & say "I'm more like a WikiGnome" and if you went WAY back in the Cat history (prior to the contest), and spend at least an hour looking into my works, you'd see that I've rewritten most of it (there's like 2-3 sections I haven't hit yet) and I was doing EXACTLY what you said but I find Cat to be more funny disjointed as it is thus the first reference at the bottom of the page about time travel.[1]
  1. [[1]]
And then I would have moved on to calling you a "jerkface" (or some such) and telling that you "are more like a WikiTroll the way you're acting in your above post(s)..." or something.
Then I would have told you; "nah, you're more like a WikiElf" than a troll, and I would have referenced some of your work as an example (which I'm not going to do now), and maybe sucked up to you a bit (not really), and then say "but if we combined our forces instead of living in strife we would form into some kind of WikiGriffon, (Voltron), and be unstoppable!"
Then I would have made some comment about us being more like the Vehicle Voltron than the stupid insipid Lion Voltron, and that I get to be either the Escalade or the Jet Plane.
Oh, and it would have been both clever and funny! (And peppered with misspellings and puns as I tend to do in talk page space.) You would have died laughing.... Um; so there SYNDROME, in your face! Phhpppth!
P.S. I laughed so hard I almost cried when I read your, "In conclusion, you're a fairy. That's all I really wanted to say."  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  11:54, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
Wait a sec... You have feelings? Does that mean you're a girl? Will you go out with me? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 03:21, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
Well... I had feelings once, but then I filed all of the required paperwork with the courthouse and after the restraining order went through those tender moments have been kept at bay ever since.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  04:16, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
You're all right, kid. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 05:02, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
Aw, shucks!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280 ~  05:18, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

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