User:Guildensternenstein

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Nominated Useless Gobshite of the Month This user has been nominated for Useless Gobshite of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your least favourite users at Uncyclopedia:Useless Gobshite of the Month.

Noob of the Month February 2009

Writer of the Month April 2009

UnBooks Author of the Month May 2009

World's Best Friend July 2009

Reviewer of the Month October 2009

Golden Urinal You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work. Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

Featured Article: Metal Gear Solid This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: UnBooks:The Lost Introduction to Walden This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: David Lynch This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Andrei Tarkovsky This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Ingmar Bergman This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Trogdor the Burninator This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Seal Clubbing This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Peyton Manning This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Akira Kurosawa This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Godzilla This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Sergio Leone This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Pious Christians Against Shellfish This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Chutes and Ladders This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Quentin Tarantino This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Mastodon This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Barack Obama's Teleprompter This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: MonsterQuest This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: UnBooks:Insipid Sentimental Women's Novel This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Grand Cross of the Order

UNFÜHRER

of Der Unwehr

Der Unwehr Kross Glückwünsche! You have received this illustrious medal for your amazing contributions to Der Unwehr. Heil!

Hi. I am Guildensternenstein, which is a combination of the nonsensical names 'Guildenstern' and 'Sternenstein'. So yeah. That's more-or-less it.

Contents 1 Articles I have written 1.1 Metal Gear 1.2 D&D:IRL 1.3 Filmmakers 1.4 Sports 1.5 Bands 1.6 Politics & Religion 1.7 Actors 1.8 Other 1.9 Misc. 2 HowTo's I have written 3 UnBooks I have authored 4 UnPoetia I have authored 5 UnScripts I have authored 6 Pages I'd like to rewrite 6.1 Other peoples' 6.2 My own 7 Usergroups I've founded 8 Images my IRL friend chopped for me 9 Audios 10 Articles I have reviewed 11 Future Articles 12 Boxes

[edit] Articles I have written

Bold = Personal Favorite

[edit] Metal Gear

• Metal Gear Solid (featured, and the third best article of February 2009!)
• Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (featured, and the third best article of March 2009!)
• Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (featured!)

[edit] D&D:IRL

• Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition: Overview (featured!)

• Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition/Character Races (for PLS)
• Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition/Character Classes (for PLS)
• Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition/Alignments & Deities

[edit] Filmmakers

• David Lynch (rewrite; a semi-collaboration with TPLN; featured!)
• Ingmar Bergman((somewhat premature) rewrite for Conservation Week; featured!)
• Andrei Tarkovsky (featured!)
• Akira Kurosawa (rewrite; featured!)
• Sergio Leone (featured, and the third best article of August 2009!)
• Quentin Tarantino (rewrite, featured!)

[edit] Sports

• Tom Brady (my first article (it sucked); rewrote it)
• Peyton Manning (rewrite; featured!)
• Indianapolis Colts (rewrite)

[edit] Bands

• The Mars Volta (deleted TPLN's article to write this one, my bad)
• Mastodon (rewrite, featured!)

[edit] Politics & Religion

• Pre-Presidential Accomplishments of Barack Obama (sucks)
• Pious Christians Against Shellfish (featured!)
• George W. Bush's Hurricane Machine
• Barack Obama's Teleprompter (featured, and the second best article of September 2009!)

[edit] Actors

• Godzilla (rewrite; featured!)
• Will Smith (rewrite)

[edit] Other

• Gravity's Rainbow (sucks)
• Robitussin (sucks)
• Trogdor the Burninator (rewrite for Conservation Week; featured!)
• Major Contributions of Those of African Descent to the Realms of Philosophy, Science, Literature, and the Liberal Arts
• Seal Clubbing (rewrite; featured!)
• Ben Croshaw
• Pointless Retrospective Articles: A Retrospective (rightfully huffed)
• Chutes and Ladders (featured!)
• Biology (rewrite)
• MonsterQuest (for PLS, featured!)
• Carnies (rewrite for CW)

[edit] Misc.

• User:Guildensternenstein/Harold Rosenbaum
• User:Guildensternenstein/Mooshy
• User:Guildensternenstein/Cheddar

[edit] HowTo's I have written

• HowTo:Write a Progressive Rock Song (featured on the front of the HowTo page)
• HowTo:Write a Techno Song

[edit] UnBooks I have authored

• UnBooks:The Lost Introduction to Walden (featured, and the second best article of March 2009!)
• UnBooks:"Incoherent Overwritten Literary Trainwreck" by Thomas Pynchon
• UnBooks:Duty (quasi-featured, apparently)
• UnBooks:Insipid Sentimental Women's Novel (for PLS, 1st runner up)

[edit] UnPoetia I have authored

• UnPoetia:The First Draft of "Song of Myself"

[edit] UnScripts I have authored

• UnScripts:A Vignette From Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

[edit] Pages I'd like to rewrite

[edit] Other peoples'

• Jerry Seinfeld
• The Sword of Truth (when I finish the book series)
• Thomas Pynchon (maybe)
• Fossil
• Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
• Horse
• Cotton Candy
• KKK

I've taken it upon myself to rewrite all (or at least most of) the articles on great directors here, because I'm an avid film fan, and yeah. Also, the articles on most of these guys totally suck, so yeah.

• Jean-Luc Godard
• Federico Fellini
• Stanley Kubrick
• Michelangelo Antonioni

[edit] My own

• Robitussin
• Gravity's Rainbow

[edit] Usergroups I've founded

• Der Unwehr

[edit] Images my IRL friend chopped for me

• User:Guildensternenstein/Images

[edit] Audios

• User:Guildensternenstein/Audios

[edit] Articles I have reviewed

• Hovercars (review) (really poor review on my part)
• Joe Biden (review) (an awful review on my part)
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers (review) (probably my worst review)
• Sweet smoking Jesus (review)
• Episcopal Church (review) (probably my best review)
• Ghetto White Boy Syndrome (review)
• Coen Brothers (review)
• The Pointlessness (band) (review) (a really awful article, for once)
• HowTo:Write Good (review) (a damn smexxy article)
• UnBooks:Rorschach's journal (review)
• Inland Empire (review)
• Cactus (review)
• Do a Barrel Roll (review) (I guess this article doesn't exist anymore haha)
• Jew (review) (an IC effort)
• Man scale (review)
• That kid who wears his headphones around his neck (review)
• Great Britain (review) (A really brief review, but it's a damn good article so there's not much to say; an IC effort)
• Thin Mints (review)
• Takk... (review)
• Vladimir Popovicovipskievinikyoff (review)
• UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver (review)
• Russo-Japanese War (review)
• Jim Jarmusch (review)
• Terry Gilliam (review)
• Metal Gear Solid 4 (review) (They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery)
• Why?:Fight Club is a cop out (review)
• Pandora (review)
• Affair (review)
• John Adams (review)
• Isaac The Tank Engine (review)
• User:MacMania/Oregon Trail (review)
• Heraclitus (review)
• HowTo:Get Nigger-Blood Out Of White Robes (review)
• I ate your Haagen-Dazs (review)
• User:MacMania/Lens flare (review)
• Yacht (review)
• Boobpedia (review)
• Charlie Kaufman (review)
• User:Hiatus Hernia/HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics (review)

[edit] Future Articles

Stuff I'm currently planning/writing/have vaguely conceptualized but may never actually get to etc.

• Document 2
• The Fifties
• Porcupine Tree (great band)
• Khaled Hosseini
• Jose Saramago
• Cormac McCarthy
• Unbooks:American History! Part II
• UnBooks: Great Abridged Progressive Rock Epics
• Pretentious Restaurant Menu
• Milton Bradley (as sort of a tie-in with Chutes and Ladders)
• UnScripts:Law & Order: Puritan New England
• Post-Birth Abortion
• Gnarly Beards
• Pretentiousness

Note: If you steal my intellectual property, I *will* fuck you up. *looks tough*

[edit] Boxes

Dieser Benutzer ist ein offizielles Mitglied Der Unwehr. Wir sind hier zu die Schwachen töten und die Starke bauen. Sieg Heil!