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ATTACK OF THE SOCKPUPPETS
It is a perilous time for the wiki. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? The Uncyclopedia cabal, hardly having defeated the opposition, suffers terrible losses in the ongoing war against the typically aggressive Encyclop*dia Dramatica.
Meanwhile, in an totally unexpected turn of events (unless you have read the spoiler), survivors of Nintendorulez's side crash-land on the planet Freenode, right into the cabal's intelligence agency.
Struggling to find consensus in an encyclopedia that forgot what it is long ago, Uncyclopedians seek political reunion, somewhat complicated by a brand new conspiracy between crap-posters and performance artists...
PLANET FREENODE - CASTLE - CEREMONIAL HALL
Savethemooses and Elvis stare at each other, then at Sixty-Two, then at each other again.
A subtitle reading "..." appears.
ELVIS: Pi pi pi!
A subtitle reading ".-- . .-.. .-.." appears.
SAVETHEMOOSES: Well... (He waits for more subtitles to appear, but fruitlessly.) I certainly didn't expect a completely cliche'd, overused gimmick...
Suddenly, the front door bursts open. The knights, and the newly-knighted Sixty-Two, flee in panic, leaving Elvis and Savethemooses alone.
GWAX: (comes through the door with TODD LYONS and SPLARKA behind him) Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! Nobody votes to keep articles, but nobody expects them being deleted! No user whose name consists of numbers expects... er... Damn.
He exits, then enters again with a sign saying "m (formatting)" on his chest.
GWAX: Nobody expects the suck police! Working hard to ensure that the article count drops to zero, we have two enemies: crap, posters of crap, and users who keep this crap because it's crap - three enemies. Our three assets are the banstick (demonstrates the banstick, which for the purposes of a sci-fi movie with lots of FX resembles a lightsaber), the round red stamp, the Life Star's superlaser... Er, two assets.
TODD LYONS: Sense of humor.
ELVIS: I cannot assist with that.
GWAX: Why? ( an echo repeats: Why why why?)
ELVIS: It was featured, duh!
GWAX: Ah. You vote to keep something just because it was featured. If everyone was as wise, I'd give up my banstick...
SAVETHEMOOSES: You said that.
A subtitle reading "[Awareness] But this wasn't the only reason." appears.
ELVIS: But this wasn't the only reason.
SPLARKA: Obviously. The entire cabal is assembled here, we have left the flagship to see a nice picture exposition Keitei sponsored. She said it would be an unforgettable and asto... aston...
TODD LYONS: Astonishing.
SPLARKA: Astonishing experience.
ELVIS: What about the defenses?
RCMURPHY: You seriously think they will figure out? Mwahahahaha!
PLANET FREENODE - ART EXPOSITION
The admins (with Savethemooses now missing) walk through the art exposition hastily organized under the open sky. They carefully look at each picture, sometimes smiling, sometimes turning away in disgust, sometimes bashing the artists with bansticks. In one corner, they notice a particularly active group of artists, consisting of WHYWHYWHY, RADICALX, SPINTHERISM and TOMPKINS. Their easels (Spintherism has two) are covered.
RCMURPHY: Interesting. What do you specialize in?
WHYWHYWHY: Self-references and inside jokes. Our goal is to provide Uncyclopedia with a strong identity instead of it being just a collection of rand...
RCMURPHY: Enough. Show me your work.
The four, ashamed, grab their belongings and leave. Before leaving, Spintherism looks thoroughly at Tompkins' image and smiles enigmatically...
Suddenly, the admins here Keitei's scream from the opposite end of the gallery. They rush through the alley, bumping into artists and visitors; when they find Keitei, she is lying unconscious on the ground with LUGIATM desperately trying to revive her.
Rcmurphy slowly raises his eyes to see what could have caused this, then screams and faints. So do TODD LYONS, MHAILLE, DAWG and pretty much everyone else in the gang. KAKUN looks at them puzzledly.
LUGIATM: Keitei, Keitei, wake up! You have found a monster! For the sake of sockpuppetry, don't let him draw a penis or something even worse...
The word "penis" brings Keitei back to life. In a sudden burst of hyperactivity, she tosses Kakun and his pictures over the wall surrounding the gallery, jumps over it, builds a stockade around him using tools that appear out of nowhere, hangs a sign saying "ENTERNOT" on the wall, runs to the gallery entrance and slaps a picture of a crudely drawn bear with a swastika on the front gate, inscribing the words "THIS BE MASCOT" and "FOCUS ON QUALITY" under it.
GWAX: (approaches the gallery entrance from inside) I can't see how the word "quality" is applicable here, if you take into account that the suckage ratio gets worse with every minute...
Spintherism tries to sneak in with his latest creation: a copy of Tompkins' Death Star with a drawing of a marker under it, the same "VFP-A-LOT" marker he is holding in his right hand.
RCMURPHY:' There is only one way to stop this flood... (yells) Get out, I'm setting up the charges!
Everyone, including admins, artists and occasional visitors, runs to the exit. Rcmurphy leaves the doomed gallery last and presses a red button on a small remote control device. A series of explosions turns the gallery into a mess of broken easels and stands, fallen trees and shreds of cloth and paper. As the finishing move, Rcmurphy puts a sign saying "CLOSET" on the now-boarded front gate.
RCMURPHY:' Hopefully janitors will clean it up.