User:Greg Evangelista/PT Cruiser

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PT Cruiser (actual size)

“Looks like a VW Beetle fucked a mini-van.”
~ Oscar Wilde on PT Cruiser

The PT Cruiser (the PT being an acronym for Paul Taylor) was produced in the late 1990's. Named after famous American President PT Barnum, the car is a testament to his Law of Suckers. Ownership of a PT Cruiser is generally considered an outward sign of poor brain development. The PT Cruiser was origionally conceptualized in 1986 by PT Barnum to be a useful and trendy cross between a full size mini-van, and a dead salmon. The PT Cruiser design was not sold to the Chrysler motor co. for years to come due to Pt Barnum eventual three terms as president in the 90s. After he had been impeached in 1998 for his horrible failure in the War on Canada, he returned to his roots in vehicle design and updated his 1986 PT Crusier plans. Chrysler embraced the idea of marketing a car so God ugly that lonely consumers would buy it for the sake of becoming more easily noticed. Because of this, 23 minutes after first seeing the Cruiser plans, Chrysler started production of the vehicle.


The release of the PT Crusier was met with terrible reviews. One month after the mini-Van/(dead)fish hybrid was released, Chrsler went completely bankrupt and stopped production of the vehicle. The PT Crusier outraged the southern United states based "Krazy Kar Klan" (Also known as the KKK) to the point where in 1999 they asassinated ex-president PT Barnum and collectively urinated on his corpse in disgust. This act left a terrible legacy for the PT Cruiser. It is often customary to ceremoniously murder any one seen operating the vehicle in order to easily rid the world of naturally idiotic people. In recent years the PT is a distant memory engraved in time as one of the ugliest automotive designs since the 73' Kelloggs Motor Flake. This vehicle single handedly marred the 90's as the worst decade in history and caused the death of hundreds in related PT owner bashings.

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