User:Grae313/PGS coffee hour

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PGS Coffee Hour
Motto "Excelsior, suckas"
Established 12 BCE
School type Caffeinated Soiree
President Zach Lamberty
Location Ithaca, New York, USA
Campus Cornell University
Enrollment Over 9000
Graduates All of them
Endowment $0.07
Faculty None
Mascot Sergei Dyda
Active Participants 1000000
Place Graduate Lounge
Time 2:30 – 3:30 PM
Website [1]

APersonalAppeal

"60 Minutes of Booyah" redirects here. For other uses, see 60 Minutes of Booyah (disambiguation).

Every week the graduate students of Cornell University's Physics Department gather together to discuss their outrageously fantastic accomplishments and brilliant ideas, as well as to socialize with echelons unimagined outside of the rarefied strata of Clark Hall and environs. These events are not open to the public (unless you are asking on behalf of the GPSA and our funding committees in which case, yeah, totally bra, come on in). It has been rumored that admittance to a PGS coffee hour is the one international honor that Whoopie Goldberg (EGOT-er) has not yet obtained.

PGS coffee hour is held weekly. At the moment it occurs every Thursday at 2:30 PM in the Physics Graduate Lounge.

edit Purpose

A current roommate of mine, upon reading in Keith Richard's autobiography that to Keith a day of work was “doing drugs and writing music,” observed that physicists are a lot like rock stars. “The only difference is we write equations instead of music, and we don't shoot heroine – we shoot caffeine.”

edit History

2008-03-13 Rave crowd
A typical PGS coffee hour

In order to be more effective at equation writing and atom smashing, physics grad students since the dawn of time have gathered in the exact spot of the Cornell University physics graduate lounge. Sure, the building wasn't built at the time, but they gathered there none the less. This year marks the 2022-nd straight year of coffee being distributed to graduate students from the lounge.

In its formative years it consisted of little more than red eyed graduate students (then referred to by the more honest epithet “slaves”) engaging in a fight to the death over the faculty's unused coffee grinds. More than half of all recorded grad student deaths before 1974 were classified as “Javacide.” After the great Copernican Revolution (lead by Percival Copernicus, great grandson of Nicolaus Copernicus and contemporary of Karl Marx) grad students were granted the right to have their own coffee and windows in some first year basement offices. This initially caused great upheaval as the exposure to sunlight for the first time in millenia caused many grad students to go blind, but this was forgotten because those old dudes like, finally graduated.

edit Bulleted Lists

Among the seemingly immeasurable (over 9000 to be sure) contributions to scientific and social progress that have originated at PGS coffee hour are the following:


Notable Past Coffee Hour-ers

  • Basically every scientist ever
  • “Macho Man” Randy Savage
  • 95% of all Nobel Prize Winners in Physics
  • Your mom

edit Current PGS Executive Committee

President

  • Zach “Razzle-Dazzle” Lamberty

Vice President

  • Nik “All Killer, No Filler” Zhelev

Treasurer

  • Shivam “No Stranger to Danger” Ghosh

Director of Communication

  • Curran “Wu Tang” Muhlberger
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