From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

A Gopherbassist is a loser who lives in Mexico. They tend to be offended if you edit an article after them, they tend to be very defensive about it and feel it is a slap in the face, and the will find you and kill you. It is not known how they reproduce, seeing as there is only one gender. Because of this, the theory of Abiogenesis has been concidered after many years of being ruled out as a source of life.

System of a Down is a faux-political front for a Armenian-supremacist group led by Serj Tankian. Though they don't actually commit acts of terrorism themselves, that are often in suport of groups that do. They believe in, and spread the lie of, the Armenian Genocide, which never actually happened. I mean, America doesn't recognize it, so what more could they want? Evidence? Oh yeah, so a couple of thier family members died in it, but what does that prove? Really they need to just get over it...

System of a Down is part of the Axis of Just-Us, a non-prophet (anti religious) organization that lends support to those trying to rid the world of those not like them. This goes hand in hand with their Armenian Supremacy goals, which you would see if you had a brain, but you don't so can't.

edit Origin and formation

Before the formation of The System, there was a much smaller organization called SOIL, which stood for Soldiers On Indless War (as it has been pointed out already too many times, they are Armenian. This is their excuse for not speaking English right.) This organization was led by Serj Tankian as well, with his right-hand butt-buddy Daron Malakian as second in command. Dave Hakopyan was thier Keeper of Minutes and Domino's Pizza Laranio the head cheer-leader at their small, infrequent rallies. After a few years, they realized that they weren't actually doing anything, so fired Hakopyan. They also killed Domino's for having impure Hawian blood.

With broken English skills in hand, Malakian and Tankian started a new orgaization called Victims of a Down. Their former Rally Planner, Shavo Odgjdnni, who spoke better english, told them that "victims" was the wrong word, and that what they wanted was they word "system." Based on interviews translated from gibberish to Almost-English, it is believed that the concept they are trying to put accross with thier name is "Steps Towards the Bringing of the Downfall of the White Man." But, well, you probably know by now what I'm about to say.

After several months of operations, The System's former head of security, Andy Khachaturian (born Oingo-Boingo Khachaturian) was shot to ribbons when the group was attacked at a demonstration. Needless to say, if Khachaturian hadn't died of his wounds, he would have been fired for letting the assailants get within gun range.

Personal tools