User:Goatman chris

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Goatman chris (198x - Now) isn't actually a Goatman anymore, although he's still got the rug-cutting hooves to prove it. This is done to fool people into thinking he has "some understanding about current events".

He came to this country during 198x, when amnesty was granted to Idiots from Parts Unknown. After being thrown off the boat for being a stow away (they didn't want to punish him by turning the boat around right now), he landed in a pile of dry socks, and has smelled like them ever since. Dirty dry socks, that is.

Known in certain circles to get drunk and demolish carpets with his rug-cutting hooves, he also has an semi-open wound on different parts of his body from tubing down a river in Minnesnowta.

He's used up all good graces, including those after his pussy deployments. The Goatman is spending his new days wisely (i.e. getting drunk, with high aspirations of finishing off that goddamned super-heroes template.)

Scratch that. Don't actually try to scratch it, you goddamned pedestrian. The previous paragraph, though mostly true, or even all-true at a point now in an alternate Universe where Marty McFly or John Titor are hanging out, it isn't true of current events, probably. The Goatman, or 'Goatie' as his friends like to call him, is currently freelancing in all levels and aspects of communications. Yes, that means he's written the menu at your local "3-Star Burger Joint". Also, your burgers suck.

edit What GC can do

   * Repeatedly snap open a knife
   * Hate South Park references because he doesn't have even basic cable
   * Take the "C" verse to the "E" verse
   * This and That 

edit What GC can't do

   * What are you, the NSA!?

edit Other Details You Have Just Become Cool Enough To Know

  • At the age of 11, GC learned to play one totally sweet air guitar
  • At the age of 15, he went to Soviet Russia, where air guitar totally sweetly played him
  • GC hated Froot Loops
  • Sometime early-century, he began hating lists
  • At the age of 25 he became aware of ice cream trucks and wasn't seen since

edit The Goatman's Ode to the World, Volume 1.5

Amended the following to be funnier

edit Subchapter: SuperHeroes

Amended the following to be funniest:

edit Subchapter: Things that will be featured, at least to my friends

Chimpanzee Grudgematch It's gonna be friggin awesome OK so that's probably it. For the time being.

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