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I am the son of Donkey Kong and Bowser. DK and Wario often fought over Bowser, but Wario was eventually killed when he did the wonky faint down a flight of stairs.

I am not usually interested in price, except for the tail price of a set of chocolates. I ate chocolates. Since I was 3, I was wider than I was tall.

Once I was the principal of a school in the United States. I gave all the students a purple punishment, but eventually Fudge, the School Government Who Has Control Over All Teachers And Principals, caught me and fired me. Why? Because, according to Randy, a purple punishment is illegal in the States.

I formed a gang with Team Rocket, Etemon, Frieza, Jedite, Panik, and Moo, but they all died in a plane crash. I was angry cause I had miscalculated the tail price on an Oreo Cookie, and I did the wonky faint when the plane crashed on an island inhabited by sharks. DK and Bowser gave me a purple punishment for abandoning my crew.

Afterward, I became the dark side of a rich nerd, but I was banished to the Shadow Realm by a pharaoh. I currently reside in the Shadow Realm.

edit Favorite Movie

Jedite Returns

edit Favorite TV Show

Dragonball F (the F stands for footwear)

edit Favorite book

The Apocalypse, by Dimentio

edit Biggest interests

  • Tail price
  • Wonky faint
  • Purple punishment

edit Favorite expressions

  • Bad rogue (spoken by Ron Stoppable about Monty Fisk)
  • Fifth battle (spoken by Eragon to Arya)
  • Ill move (spoken by the narrator on Halo)

edit Favorite quotes

  • "I'm telling you, his lordship is 500 miles of bad rogue!" (Ron Stoppable)
  • "You look... fifth battle." (Eragon)
  • "Ill move." (Halo narrator)

edit Stuff I did when I was addicted to Dragonball Z

  • Tried to become a Super Saiyan
  • Continuously asked DK and Bowser how my tail was cut off
  • Seeked out Frieza as revenge for the destruction of Planet Vegeta (and I killed him)
  • Tried to fly and got hurt
  • Lost sleep over wondering why Goten and Trunks don't have tails
  • Seeked out the Dragonballs to become immortal
  • Watched Cinderella every day to hear the reference to Majin Buu
  • My favorite number is 17, cause of Android 17

edit Stuff I did when I was addicted to Sailor Moon

  • Wrote "EVIL" next to Beryllium on the periodic table
  • Stayed away from an airport for fear that Jedite would attack (even though I killed Jedite myself)
  • Got two cats, a black one and a white one, and named them Luna and Artemis
  • Dressed up as a Sailor Scout for five Halloweens in a row (even though I am a guy)
  • Chose Lupin as my favorite Harry Potter character because his nickname is Moony
  • Cried when Neflite died, and cried even more when Zoycite died
  • Got called up by the science teacher to ask why I wrote "EVIL" next to beryllium on the periodic table
  • Got sent to the guidance counselor after explaining to my science teacher why I wrote "EVIL" next to Beryllium on the periodic table
  • My favorite number is 17, even though I have no idea what the number 17 has to do with Sailor Moon

edit Stuff I did when I was addicted to Yu-Gi-Oh

  • Tried to get my hairstyle like Yugi's, and failed miserably
  • Stuck my fingers in a toaster to get my hairstyle like Yami Marik's, and ended up in the hospital
  • Tried to fly through a stone tablet like Yami did in the Season 2 opening, and was actually surprised to wake up in the hospital
  • Attempted to Mind Crush bullies at school, and was surprised when it didn't work, and ended up in the hospital
  • Said "What the Shadow Realm" instead of "What the hell". I still do, actually, though I'm not "addicted" or "obsessed" with Yu-Gi-Oh anymore, that flame died down when I read Dimentio's novel
  • Put posters of Téa, Mai, Serenity, and Bakura on the roof of my bedroom so I fell asleep looking at them (though I rarely notice Bakura, cause he's a shemale)
  • Constructed a Millennium Puzzle out of styrofoam
  • Sent hate mail to 4Kids for censoring everything, and never putting any written words on the screen

edit Stuff I did when I was addicted to Spongebob Squarepants

  • Fainted

edit Favorite animal

Pobs. A pob is a killer plant, a big yellow killer plant that eats people by wrapping a vine around them and pulling it in toward its flesh-eating blossoms. They apparently eat cars, if the pob is big enoughf

edit Rejected by Renamon

I fell in love with a beautiful vixen named Renamon. Despite being the son of two screwed up peaple I never thought any bad things about her. After I received a purple punishment for abandoning my crew, I asked Renamon out and she rejected me. I begged her to marry me and grabbed onto her floofy tail to stop her walking away, but she kicked me down a flight of stairs, the same flight of stairs I threw my grandmother (on DK's side) down. After that I went Emo and became Seto Kaiba's dark side.

edit Death

I died of starvation and severe burns in the Shadow Realm, but all that did was put a halo over my head - the Shadow Realm is really Hell itself, with its name censored by 4Kids, cause they know they'll end up there eventually if they don't keep making lame censors. Hahahahahahaha, is he joking?

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