User:Gerrycheevers

Gerry is seen here in the control room of Uncyclopedia, looking eerily similar to O.J. Simpson in the classic film The Towering Inferno.

“Whenever I go to do something, I ask myself: would an idiot do this? And if they would... I do not do that thing.”
~ Dwight Schrute on being an idiot

edit painfully slow return to uncyclopedia

examine old articles for leakages of funny and/or influx of suck
throw together an anniversary or two
read some articles!
vote? i don't remember much about this site, but i do remember the euphoric high associated with casting votes.

edit Contributions

(currently organized alphabetically by height) bold = featured , italic = quasi-featured

edit Original Articles

edit Full Rewrites

edit VFD Rescues

Pet Rock: The Video Game | Is the bear a Catholic?

edit HowTo

How to: Be a Douchebag

edit Colonizations

edit UnNews

UnNews:New writing technique good for some, bad for others | UnNews:Discovery of caves on Mars sparks Space Race II | UnNews:Uncyclopedia launches first satellite | UnNews:Iraq detainees suffering from 'excessive boredom' | UnNews:Saudi woman flogged for being gang raped | UnNews:Santa Claus missing, officials fear worst | UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange | UnNews:Local man rescues dozens from vampire peacock | UnNews:Dog to run for mayor of Alabama town, despite mudslinging | UnNews:Controversy arises over team nickname | UnNews:Ice cream discovered on Mars | UnNews:NYC cracks down on strays, introduces fleet of 'dog sweepers' | UnNews:Hyrule physicists report quantum fluctuations | UnNews:Scientists discover link between Daylight Savings and Global Warming | UnNews:Sharks invade cleaner beaches | UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes | UnNews:Congress questions Senator's knighthood | UnNews:He-She T driver is a dunderhead

edit UnSignposts

edit Images

edit UnNews Audios

UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange | UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes

edit Awards

See All Awards

edit About Me

I am, in fact, not Gerry Cheevers himself. I may have been him in a past life, although that is unlikely as Cheevers is in fact still alive at this point. I am, however, a 23-year old research analyst from Boston with a boring desk job who enjoys alternative rock and candlepin bowling. I stumbled across Uncyclopedia one day in 2007, and have been unable to tear myself away from it since. My goal is essentially to make people laugh as hard as I laughed when I first read the article on Bears. If I can be 1/10th as humorous as that, then I have succeeded. I like to aimlessly wander around Uncyclopedia. ~~I think I might be physically addicted. Help!~~ Every once in a while I get motivated enough to churn out a full article. I also like to help out fellow Uncyclopedians, so if you're ever looking for a rewrite, Pee Review, cool template, or any kind of opinion on anything, I'm your man. Satisfaction is guaranteed!^[1] Lately, I've taken up trying to be a useful bugger, what with my efforts to take over the UnSignpost, Imperial Colonization, the Proofreading Service, and whatnot.

edit Wandering Rant of the Week

whose cruel idea was it to put the letter 's' in the word 'lisp'?

edit The Lobster War

edit Useless Clutter

Grand Cross of the Order

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