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“They're the 7th, 3rd and 4th letters in the Latin alphabet respectively. Duh.”
GCD, aka Joey Bagodonuts, loves doughnuts, especially the chocolate filled ones. This is the ONLY and most important information you need to know about GCD. The rest is irrelevant, but dammit...... if the stubborn you really MUST know, the below are several trivial facts and useless tidbits about GCD.
USELESS FACT #1
All facts about GCD are useless, except for the one about him loving doughnuts (see introductory paragraph above), and maybe, just maybe... FACT #1 too since it points to the only useful fact.
USELESS FACT #2
GCD is a big fan of UnNews (The news source on crack, or as GCD likes to call it -- Undeniably Newsworthy), and thinks that CNN, BBC and The Onion are booooooooring! Even Al-Jazeera, with videos of action-packed suicide bombings and adrenaline-pumped Israeli soldiers wiping out Palestinian refugees cannot compare to the orgasmic power of UnNews. Of course, Wikinews is THE worst of them all. Utterly dull and inaccurately misinformed source of news. Don't waste your time reading those articles!!! Only dickless lame losers like Jimbo Wales read them.
USELESS FACT #3
Crappy UnNews articles written by GCD:
- BREAKING NEWS: GCD starts writing crappy UnNews articles, June 21st 2007
- "Chemical Ali" sentenced to death; sons vow revenge, anger, denial, celibacy and all those good stuff, June 26th 2007 [ Special thanks to Mordillo for audio; Second Lead Article ]
- Bush announces strategy shift for War on Terror: U.S. to bomb all hospitals and medical schools, July 4th 2007
- 13,889th suicide bomber reaches Paradise, but Allah runs out of virgins, July 7th 2007 [ Special thanks to Rev. Zim for audio; First Lead Article ]
- Soundwave joins UnNews’s quest for world domination, July 10th 2007
USELESS FACT #4
The country of origin of GCD is a highly classified state secret in the United States of America, Russia, China, India, Japan, African Union, European Union, Labors' Union, green onion, Atlantis but NOT in Switzerland, since the Swiss are neutral and have not been in any foreign war since 1815, so why in the world would the Swiss ever need to keep a secret? Or can
we they keep one?
USELESS FACT #5
The origin of the name - GCD - is a point of contention among academic scholars and conspiracy theorists. Historical evidence suggests that it is probably an acronym for a somewhat more useful, identifiable name. Scientific studies have determined the most likely hypothesis to be randomness, much like evolution. Certain religious rabbis say that GCD may have been used by ancient Uncyclopedians to refer to GOD. In order to avoid the risk of defacing God's name and face certain judgement, these Uncyclopedians avoid writing God's Name by substituting letters or syllables. If the rabbis are right, then GCD may actually be God Himself, and you, my friend, are reading the true&original © Bible now (Quick! Kiss this screen and be blessed!). Conspiracy theorists, however, point to a more sinister origin for the name...... (to be revealed in USELESS FACT #666)
USELESS FACT #6
GCD suffers from hyper-uchiuchimama-fingerism, a genetic syndrome that is characterized by uncontrolled typing of coherent (mostly) sentences for UnNews articles. This typically results in unusually looooooooooooooooong lengths for his stories, and as such takes up wayyyyyyy too much HD space on the Uncyclopedia server. Although there is currently no lasting cure for this disease, GCD is undergoing a form of experimental electro-shock therapy with his shrink to reduce the severity of the symptoms to a manageable point. Possible side-effects previously reported for this therapy include incoherent writing, babbling, foaming from the mouth, uncontrolled shaking of the body and screaming.
USELESS FACT #7
USELESS FACT #8
Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. Bats. BATS. and.................. Bats.
-- ~ GCD 02:47, 9 July 2007 (UTC)