|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
16 September 2011
NAIMEE, Niger -- Fresh out of Libya, Saadi Gadhafi has been the source of international controversy which is seeking to try and extradite him to face charges for crimes against humanity at the International Criminal Court. However the recently exiled son has been trying to look on the bright side. Ever since Tripoli was overrun, Saadi had been unable to watch NFL games in his private movie theater, being forced to go to illegal streams on the internet to be able to watch his favorite sport, American Football. Imperialists who overran his luxurious mansion in Tripoli noted he had Direct TV's "Sunday Ticket" and "NFL Redzone" packages, a unheard of luxurious good in the poor but oil rich fucked nation.
Ever since moving into his new crib in Niger though, Saadi has not made any press releases regarding his father, Libya, or the civil war his Father is waging in Libya. However, he did make a series of 16 tweets, many about his predictions for NFL games next sunday. They are as follows:
- Fuckthisshit I have been trekking all over the fucking place. Cant wait to hook up Satellite Dish to watch NFL. Bout to tweet predics
- I hope the Patriots lose to Chargers. Brady is pussy compared to my dad #Libya
- Just bet 5000 USD on St Louis Rams over NYG #hellya
- Man I fucking hate Washington but you have to admit theyr lookin good. Air game and special teams will prob be to much for Cardinals desert defense
- Hey Denver that is where the NWO my dad talks about so much is based...Fuk it go Bengals !! #fuckit
- Pittsburgh is #overrated. Seattle will win
- Rex Ryan talks more shit than my dad but will definitely beat the Jags just like my dad is def gonna beat the #NATOPIGS
- Eagles.. Vick your on my fantasy team man but so is Roddy White... IDK!?!?!?! #confused
- Bears will lose to New Orleans. Cutler is biggest bitch in NFL
- LOL COLTS...
- Miami will beat Texans I think but its gonna be close. Texas is full of imperialist pigs so rooting for the underdog... #theusual
- Oakland Raiders Buffolu Bills.... who cares #Libya
- Dude Adrian peterson verse Tampa I predict... Adrian Peterson!
- Uh Dallas Cowboys... choke is gonna choke just like the people attacking Sirte #RESISTANCESIRTE
- Lions n Ravens both win.. nuff said
- Green Bay Verse Panthers... this is like me with a machine gun and ten friends with machineguns against 200 unarmed chained civilians #warcrimes
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|