User:Frinko/Pokemon

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:''Note: This article is a take off on [[Pokémon|this one]]. The other version is funnier and less stupid so you might just want to check that one out instead.''
 
:''Note: This article is a take off on [[Pokémon|this one]]. The other version is funnier and less stupid so you might just want to check that one out instead.''

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Bouncywikilogo5
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Pokémon.
Note: This article is a take off on this one. The other version is funnier and less stupid so you might just want to check that one out instead.
Loltard
Republican
“I LUVS ME ME POKEEMANS!!!”
~ retards on Pokémon
“Oooooh... someone's following us!!”
~ Ash Ketchum on his shadow
“Dey see me rollin... dey hatin...”
~ Charmillionaire on his freakin' sweet ride
“Pokeyman! Pokeyman with the Pokey and the Man and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing, and he makes a fraaagh fr fra aagh aagh aagh!”
~ Bill Cosby quoting Oscar Wilde
“why did I create these little freaks?”
~ god on pokemon
“Ling-Ling is the only Pokemon i would ever use!”
~ Scott The Destroyer on Japanese Slave Trading
“Pokémon is the slave trade, and Pikachu is the slavemaster!”
~ Harry Belefonte on Pokémon
“My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard and they are all like you wanna trade cards and im like damn right i wanna trade cards, all except for my charizard”
~ Total Douche on Pokemon
“You F*** me and I'll f*** you, Pokemon!”
~ The Pokemon Theme song
“The show went downhill when Dawn came in.”
~ May
“The only reason why I let Misty, May, and Dawn follow me around is so that I can rape them after.”
“So thats why misty and all dem leave.”
~ brock on ash's quote
“the only reason why I hang around ash is so I can bash brock.”
~ misty on ash's quote
“In Soviet Russia, pokeball throws you!”
~ Some Random Person
“so i herd u liek mudkipz!”
~ A Retard
“I've found God 3 times, but I can't find Entei!!”
~ Christian on Pokemon

pachirisu.gif Pachirisu, the completely useless Pokemon.


Pokémon is the thing where the guy comes out of the thing. Children like to play this.

Pokémon (ポケモン) is a multi-billion dollar franchise owned by the Nintendo corporation, based around the worship, torture and capture of strange creatures.

Although all of the games consist of the Poké and the Man, also known as the Monster,
there have been many different Pokémon titles, each more unique than the last.
Pokemans

For instance, Pokemon Gold and Silver introduced Pokemon breeding, where Pokemon get their groove thang on and then lay eggs with new Pokemon that have funny moves. Likewise, Ruby and Sapphire played off this and introduced the concept of having whales and cats breed together. It should be noted that this breeding activity suggests to children that old people have no idea what sex is, because they always say they have no idea how Pokemon eggs get created. Worshipers of Pokemon claim that Digimon is the antichrist, although Digimon worshippers claim the reverse.

Bushémon

A skilled trainer successfully capture the legendary Dubya.

Abouttime

PULL THE GODDAMN TRIGGER ALREADY!!!

The games were given colours, reflecting their ulterior motives. (Spoiler)

  • Red - This was so called because on completion, it would take the name of the child that was entered at the start and sign them up for the communist party and reposess all their stuff.
  • Blue - Pregnant. Sofvbg nvvh gmetimes hard to tell.
  • Green - Was faintly radioactive. The further the child got, still hyg the ash is a@#!$#^%*&^^%#@%$#^%$^%&^%%& the less human they became. Or their hair fell out. Whatever.
  • Yellow - Would encourage homosexual tendencies, to develop later in life.
  • Gold - Actually made of gold. Usually got stolen by the kid's crack and meth addicted parents, so that it could be sold off.
  • Silver, Platinum - See above, except Platinum belongs to Diamond and Pearl.
  • Crystal, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald - Much like the original makers, I'm running out of ideas here...
  • Diamond, Pearl- Much like Gold and Silver, but encrusted with precious gems.
  • Black, White- Encouraged people that one race was superior over the other.


Pokémon Red

Pokémon Red
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Red
Would Bob Barker play it? Who wouldn't?

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Green

Pokémon Green
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Green
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Blue

Pokémon Blue
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Blue
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Yellow

Pokémon Yellow
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Yellow
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Gold

Pokémon Gold
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Gold
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Silver

Pokémon Silver
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Silver
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Crystal

Pokémon Crystal
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Crystal
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Ruby

Pokémon Ruby
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Ruby
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Sapphire

Pokémon Sapphire
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Sapphire
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Fire Red

Pokémon Fire Red
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Fire Red
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Leaf Green

Pokémon Leaf Green
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Leaf Green
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Emerald

Pokémon Emerald
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit.
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Emerald
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Diamond

Pokémon Diamond
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Diamond
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Pearl

Pokémon Pearl
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Pearl
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Platinum

Pokémon Platinum
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Platinum
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon HeartGold

Pokémon HeartGold
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating HeartGold
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon SoulSilver

Pokémon SoulSilver
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating SoulSilver
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon Black

Pokémon Black
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating Black
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


Pokémon White

Pokémon White
POKEMONbright
Evil Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. The occupying factor was the child's futile attempt at removing the little shit
Developer(s) The Japanese
Publisher(s) Chuck Norris
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) GameBoy
Rating White
Would Bob Barker play it? Not likely

Child mind-control at its finest, Pokémon (Japanese: ポケモン) was invented by the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck and can only be permitted to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Greeks sought the implementation of the Pokémon as a means of occupying the little buggers long enough to allow the adults to sneak out to late night bingo and philosophy death-matches near the fountain south of the Parthenon.

Sadly, the Greeks were unable to occupy their children in this manner, owing to the fact that none of the little brats wanted to train their L3 Jigglypuff after seeing the kick-ass Charizard on the box, and were eventually forced to eat them or train them in the ways of beer-vending (as many beer-vendors were being killed off when the bingo and philosophy death-matches got out of hand).

When Pokémon was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, children had already developed an immunity to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Japanese Soy Sauce cooking "incidents." Greeks on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokémon careers. Charizard starred in a Japanese remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after allegedly consuming the director, Kawasaki Mitsubishi. Others, who weren't so lucky, resorted to other sources for sustenance. Jigglypuff and Ditto assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners. Ditto was especially popular, as it turned into anything you wanted. Jigglypuff was forced to sing as a pathetic attempt to get some recognition.


PokéGirl, The New and Improved Version of Pokémon

PokéGirl, The New and Improved Version of Pokémon
POKEMONdark
Enlightened/Albino/Vampire Pikachus were designed to fuse to the spinal column of children. When this is completed, they release a certain substance into the bloodstream of the child that will turn the child into a lesbian girl. At the same time, the Pikachu will complete the fusing process, creating a partially human Pikagirl.
In this way they will also regain their normal yellow skin color.
Developer(s) The Belgians
Publisher(s) XaNAGuTuGANaX
Release date to United States children for mind-control
Genre Enslavement
Platform(s) VaginaDroid
Rating PokéGirl, The New and Improved Version of Pokémon
Would Bob Barker play it? Who wouldn't?

Child mind-control at its finest, PokéGirl was invented by the ancient Romans to counter the invention of the ancient Greeks but was only recently released to the world at large due to significant hold-ups in the patent office, although many believe it to be the work of the underworld.

Based loosely on the conviction that kids actually suck from the day they were born and can only be taught to live insofar as they will eventually become not-kids, the Romans sought the implementation of the Pokégirl as a means of teaching the ways of the Pokégirl: lesbian sex.

Naturally, the Romans were able to teach their children in this manner, but sadly, they hadn't yet invented the technology to create lesbians. They experimented by altering the bodies of young boys, emperor Nero was the man behind this plan, but sadly all experiments failed in creating lesbian girls. Many other Romans followed in his path, but they all failed, the closest thing to a succes had always stayed just a young heterosexual androgynous boy.

When PokéGirl was finally pushed through the patent office and introduced to the world, the transformation to lesbians begun: children were developing an obsession to it by breathing toxins released into the upper atmosphere by millions of Belgian "French" Fries cooking "incidents." Romans on the other hand went on to invent one of the world's most beloved product lines. The publishment of the game launched many Pokégirl careers. Charigirl starred in a Belgian remake of the classic, "Godzilla" but was fired after having sex with the director, Kakashi Bitsuwasimi. Many others used similar sources for sustenance. Jigglygirl assumed a career as a crack addicted whore on Nevada street corners, kicking hobos.

List of Pokémon

Linglingsit

Ling-Ling, Pikachu's half-brother.


Characters

  • Ash Ketchup, is the head character of this serie. Ash is bad translation from Japanese word "Ass".


Anime

Due to the rapid sucess of the Video Games, Japan released a TV show about pokemon in anime style just to cash in more. Strangely enough, some episodes were about an elite NYPD SWAT team. Whores.
Censored

Scene from the final episode.

Dawnmad

Another one.

FlareonFurryFemaleSmall(26)

And yet another one.

Episode List

  1. Pokeyman? Pokeyman with the pokey and the man and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing, and he bulb a raaagh gagh a fraaaghle ha ha ha!!
  2. Pikachu!
  3. Pikachu attacks a Pokémon!
  4. Team Rocket attempts to rape ash.
  5. James wins a beauty contest with inflatable breasts.
  6. Epileptic Hero Porygon.. X
  7. War In Brooklyn
  8. Super Pokémon Bros. 1
  9. Super Pokémon Bros. 2
  10. Super Pokémon Bros. 3
  11. Super Pokémon Bros. 4: The Revenge of Pikachu's Uncle
  12. Pikachu gets raped by Ash and Samus
  13. Pikachu dies of Tuberculosis :'(
  14. サトシ・ワンツ・ニガー・コック
  15. カスミ・レイプス・ナース・ジョーイ
  16. Moskau, Moskau, wirf die Gläser an die Wand, Rußland ist ein schönes Land. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Hej! Moskau, Moskau, deine Seele ist so groß, nacht's da ist der Teufel los. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Hej!
  17. Halo 3 is born, what the crap, master chief whatacha doin!
  18. ザ・バトル・フォア・ザ・ネクスト・バッジ2
  19. ピカチュウ・イズ・デッド!アイ・フォーゴット!
  20. More Japanese Letters
  21. Even More Japanese Letters
  22. Assault on Precinct 76
  23. English letters (Alphabet Soup)
  24. ...... ♥ ♥ ♥ !!
  25. Pikachu Reborn‽
  26. Yuri Episode
  27. Yaoi Episode
  28. Yuri-Yaoi Episode
  29. Yaoi-Yuri Episode
  30. Hit Squad
  31. Ash catches Ling-Ling!
  32. Charmillionaire rides down & dirty
  33. Super Duper Mega Gay Orgy Episode
  34. Pikachu finds himself, homosexually and, goes to campus
  35. Jigglypuff goes on a cock-sucking rampage
  36. Officer Luca Kills The President
  37. Ash Ketchum gets killed by a giant Charizard
  38. The Rejoicing of Ash's death
  39. Pokemon fails because no one gives a shit about it anymore.
  40. Pikachu changes into Pikagirl, someone gives a shit about it.
  41. All Pokemon and other characters in the anime series change into lesbian Pokegirls, like Pikagirl, every one two and three gives a shit and much more about it.
  42. Ash's Resurrection
  43. All Pokemon Unite with the motive to assassinate Ash Ketchum
  44. Who shot Misty?
  45. Ash flies a helicopter and crashes
  46. Ash Ketchum and Misty have aholesex and doÞ recognize the impending threat (Misty is alive and well again.)
  47. Mewtwo moves to mind control all Pokemon so that he can hump Pikachu... because he is sooo maddly horny!
  48. Officer Luca busts outta jail, screaming
  49. Piplup joins the Pokemon National-socialist Party and takes the name of Piphitler
  50. 134785 New Pokemon introduced into the series; making it even more gay!!!
  51. Pikachu gets Fucked by Tony Blair
  52. All Pokemon are suddenly teleported into the World of Warcraft Universe causing mega pvp showdown annihilation,oh my god they killed Kenny!
  53. Nazi Pokemon regime is toppled by NYPD
  54. Pikachu turns to Communism
  55. Pikachu gets shot in Russia
  56. Gangster Life
  57. Pokemon meets (a fake) Jesus
  58. Shipping Fanservice Episode #1
  59. The Crazy Off-Model One (it looks kinda cool!)
  60. Jigglypuff goes on a cock sucking rampage (hell yeah)
  61. destroy all pikachus
  62. Pokemon Black and White in Color

Episodes from the future

  • Episode 84: Ash's dick uses Harden.
  • Episode 95: Butch and Cassidy arrive!! The meeting of the Rocket-Dan troops!! More random Japanese words!!
  • Episode 143: Ash finally catches 'em all, until he learns about a new region called Kentuckistan!
  • Episode 252: Brock gets shot by a redneck
  • Episode 599: Dawn gets shot, and Brock gets shot... again
  • Episode 617: Terrorist attack on Nimbasa City.
  • Episode 1337: Obligatory 1337 joke used whenever there's a big numerical list.
  • Episode 3295: Wild Chuck Norris appeared!
  • Episode 4001: The one-hour special crossover episode where Naruto, James T. Kirk, Darth Vader, and Lance Bass have a wild orgy with Prof. Oak, Ash's mom, Tracey Sketchit, and Mr. Mime.
  • Episode 14369: Meet the new girl, Hillary Clinton.


  • just before the final episode: Pokémon meets God and the real Jesus (It is also revealed that the End of the World (as we know it) will take place in the next episode.)


  • Final episode: The Pokégirl-Virus evolves/digivolves in the SuperUltraMegaUltimateDivineGigaGodessPokéGirl-UltraGigaUndefeatableImmortalVirus and transforms every living thing in the Pokéverse and in the universe(s) were the Pokémon animé is aired into ExaTeraHotLesbianSuperUltraMegaUltimateDivineGigaGodessPokéGirls who are UltraGigaUndefeatableImmortal. Before this, Ash accidentally walks in on Misty, May, Dawn, Iris, and so on.... while they aregetting ready for a shower about to masturbate. Hilarity ensues!


Anime Screens

Pokemon

Oh yes!


Trivia

  • Dschinghis Khan makes an appearance in one episode. Coincidentally, the same episode is in the Guinness Book of World Records for "Longest Title of a TV Show Episode.
  • Somehow, Officer Luca & the other NYPD SWAT members in the TV series were the only characters to not change into lesbian Pokégirls, possibly because their storyline had Jack Schitt to do with the main storyline of the TV series. That, or because New Yawkahs are immune to LPGS (Lesbian PokéGirl Syndrome)
  • It is sugested that the PokéGirl-virus is reactivated and evolves/digivolves because of the distortion in the space-time continuum when Ash walks in on nude Misty, about to masturbate. It is also suggested that Ash and Misty merge into eachother forming Mistashy because of the distortion in the space-time continuum, before the virus takes over the cosmos.
  • The SUMUDGGPG-UGUIV-virus will invade this world as soon as it is shown on TV (TransVader) and will infect every living thing transforming it into an UGUI-ETHLSUMUDGGPG, it is not sure if it will work on the Undead and Ghosts and it surely will not work on the Dead, but as the UGUI-ETHLSUMUDGGPG have an unlimited amount of ETHLSUMUDGGPG-powers, they could destroy or disform/transform them to their likings.
  • An alien race that resembles humans actually named themselves after a Pokemon (Altaria) that they regarded as a god..

117141%20-%20Dugtrio%20Pokemon.gif

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