User:Fred the Deity/Truck of Correction

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

“I remember it well. Played a mean game of chess, I can tell you!”
~ Oscar Wilde on his meeting with the Truck of Correction

ToC Wallclimb

A rare photo of the Truck of Correction in action

Little is known about where the Truck of Correction came from. Some claim that the Stig created it to bring twisted justice to those who defy the cosmic law, that it was once an ordinary truck, infused with near-unparalleled might. Others speculate that it is the very chariot of Satan himself, preying upon the innocent and unsuspecting. Yet others insist that it has existed since the dawn of time, ever watching. All that can be confirmed is that it is no ordinary truck.

edit The Truck, and Why You Should Fear It

ToC NotNearlyAsGood

The Truck of Correction is far better than this.

The Truck of Correction is an amorphous, sentient machine capable of great feats. It is very elusive, often blending in with other traffic and posing as a harmless Tesco delivery truck. When nobody is looking, however, it continues its everlasting mission: correcting what should not be. It mostly achieves its goals by running over/into things and people. You know that girl from Final Destination? The one that got hit by a bus? That was the Truck in its bus form. The Truck also prevented the White House from being destroyed, thus preventing an unintended civil war, by becoming United 93 and hypnotizing the passengers into taking out the hijackers. The Truck has also been the car that Franz Ferdinand rode in on the day of his assassination, the cruiser Aurora that helped the Bolsheviks seize control of Russia, the Death Star (both of them), the Blue Falcon, the Freakmobile and Thomas the Tank Engine.

ToC Crush

Another hapless victim of the Truck.

It is coated with a mixture of lead, kryptonite, diamond and the bones of a Grue. Its tires are resistant to piercing and slashing damage, and have +d20 against elemental attacks. It is capable of running over entire planets, and is so smart that it can count to infinity backwards. It is even possible for the Truck to withstand a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris (an all-out fight would end in a tie).

In other words, if you see the Truck of Correction approaching, you're effing screwed.

edit Relation to Optimus Prime

ToC MuchWorse

This guy? The Truck would crush him.

Contrary to popular belief, the Truck of Correction is in no way related to Optimus Prime, or any of the Transformers for that matter. The Truck is far better than them. Even better than Voltron.

Personal tools
projects