Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Press Room/1

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So it begins

Questions: What do we put in it? What stuff should go in the right column?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:16 May 06, 2008

Sorrrrrrrryyy! But I still found it... he he! - 18:22 6 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Shh! Don't let anyone know! Whenever Cajek and I work together on something, usually somebody gets banned. Or, it starts some kind of crazy trend. Or both.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:23 May 06, 2008
Ok, so I'll keep my voice down... What are you two working on, or is it REALLY really secret? - 18:26 6 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Signpost blah

Right column: the most interesting BHOP and Village Dump forums. Also, interesting non-featured and featured pages that we want there. Whatcha think?   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [20:48]>

I like the idea of interesting pages, and the BHOP pages. But I think we'll probably end up linking to VD pages on the left, in our "stories".  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 20:50 May 06, 2008
Also we could link to recently banned users and say why they were thus banned! Kind of like a police blotter.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [20:51]>
Or just go for "funniest bans of the week"!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 20:52 May 06, 2008
So it would go (1) BHOP stuff at the top, (2) Interesting articles (one that you found, and one that I whored found), and (3) funniest bans of the week?   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [20:53]>
Let's combine BHOP pages, articles, and all other pages into just "Interesting Pages", where we can list whatever we want to whore link to. And then bans! Hang on, I'll add that...  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 20:57 May 06, 2008
And we can do a biopic of the week, where we can make fun of local Uncyc celebrities for noobs and others to get to know!   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [20:59]>
Actually, that's not a half-bad idea. Should we drop a note on [insert random user here]'s talkpage and see if they want to write their own each week? And for those that have left, we can take care of them...  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:03 May 06, 2008
Two ideas: 1, we don't need to have the links on the signpost link to actual articles. We should just have articles that fill the left side, maybe two or three paragraphs each ("UNCYC SUX"). 2, guest writers each week. We invite someone to write some random article and attribute it to them (obviously). 3, one guest biopic, and one done as a collab by us that links to a full page on the user.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [21:06]>
Seems like a lot to be done per week. I'm gonna see if I can make the links on the headlines optional, but I'd like to keep it possible for us to link to an article in the headline. Secondly, let's not worry about guest writers until we get the ball rolling, so to speak. And the biopic - if you think we can do one a week, well, let's give it a shot! If not, UN:N if we fail, right?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:09 May 06, 2008

Delivery/Whoring

Would it be okay to have fnoodle go to everybody (or nearly everybody's) talkpage and ask if they want to sign up for delivery?   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [21:22]>

Nah, I think we should whore it the old-fashioned way (sigs, linking it in random conversations, IRC). Otherwise, it's basically spamming. But, if you get people to sign on a page that says it's okay to spam them with this, then hey, we haven't got to worry!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:23 May 06, 2008
Village dump, too.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [21:25]>

First Stories

This is too goddamn fun

Yes it is.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:49 May 06, 2008

I haven't felt this excited on uncyc in a while! We, you and I, will revolutionize this failing website! Until it fails.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [21:50]>
Or, we'll make it fail faster and harder than ever before! Woo!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:52 May 06, 2008
Hey guys, I found a watchamathingy! And a fine watchamathingy it is, sirs. - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora (Nyah, see, nyah!) 22:04, May 6
This is happening much faster than I predicted. BRB Cajek, I gotta go eat!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 22:06 May 06, 2008
Yay! This is cool. I, too, will be back at the next hour.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [22:19]>
I can no longer lie to you: I have no idea what a biopic is. Although I still stand by my first comment, that it's a good idea. It feels like one. I just dunno what it is.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 22:26 May 06, 2008
Let's just say a few sentences about YOU. I'll just leave the picture we have there, and write a little. It's just a little snapshot into the lives of our favoritest users.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [22:39]>

We did it!

The first issue is pretty well finished! That was damn fast.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 23:14 May 06, 2008

Fun = fast. That was pretty cool, man. Seriously.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [23:19]>
I'd be tempted to send it out now, but I think it's better to stick to Thursdays, 'cuz I know I'll remember if it's on Thursdays. Besides, then everyone gets it by Friday. And Fridays are just awesome.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 23:20 May 06, 2008
Tech Q: Are you going to {{User:Fnoodle/UnSignpost/05-08-08}} or {{SUBST|User:Fnoodle/UnSignpost/05-08-08}}? I don't know if it's important, but I'm curious.   Le Cejak <May 06, 2008 [23:29]>
I was wondering that myself, but I figure it's better to do the first. Otherwise, if we release the signpost some Thursday, and discover we messed up a link or something, it'd be next to impossible to change!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 23:30 May 06, 2008

Feedback

How will we receive feedback for our work? Is there going to be a separate page or do we even care or what?   Le Cejak <May 07, 2008 [1:43]>

Either here, User talk:Fnoodle/UnSignpost, or UN:N. We'll see what happens!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 02:11 May 07, 2008

...of the week!

  • username...
  • book...
  • month...
  • doomsday...
    • "Uncyc will shut down Friday. Pack your shit and get out."
  • reason to leave Uncyc...
  • shape...
  • hand...
  • wiki...
  • this week in (year)...
  • horoscope...
  • prediction...
  • lolcat...
  • image...
  • shockporn...
  • shocksite...
  • prOn...
  • tasteful pole dancer...
  • time increment...
  • shout out...
    • "HEY! HEY JIM! IT'S ME CAJEK! JIIIMMMMM! OVER HEEEERREEE!"
  • coded secret message...
  • advertisement...
  • wanker (guy/IP who got infinabanned recently) [ed note: good idea, except this is AMERICA. We don't use words like "wanker" unless we want to get Wanked™ American Style.] [Technically only 40% of users/readers are American here... wanker]
  • mid-sentence fragment...
    • "...and that's when I pushed her down the stairs and yelled, THAT'S FOR THE YAMS, YOU OLD HAG!!!"
  • vandalism...
  • gypsy curse...
    • all cookies will taste like toothpaste for the rest of the month! --Madame Tesla, April 17th, 1987

Extra Features

  • Op-ed articles
    • Cajek's Corner
    • Skull's Skullery
  • <insert name of celebrity here> says...
    • Sauron says: "Don't leave your shit lying around, or else short people will steal it and throw it in a volcano." [ed note: why am I parodying LotR so much recently??? I hate those damn books!]

This is great...

...I just wanted to stop by and show my support. And you did it all so quickly, literally over night for me! And the CMC got a feature! Wooo! I think I'll have to put a link on my userpage. And can I sign up (and sign up to any UnSingpost related spam as well)? - 15:18 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Thanks!!!! Also, go ahead and sign up if you haven't already!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 17:16 May 07, 2008
I have...what does signing up at that signup place actually do? Fnoodle delivers it to you? - 17:20 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Oh one thing on the Fnoodle/UnSignpost page... There isn't actually a link to the latest issue! - 17:22 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
That's cuz the first issue hasn't reached completion and delivery yet, o'course!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 17:26 May 07, 2008
Ohzeeee, I see! - 17:31 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Uh hu! Now it has been completed and there's still no link on the mainpage! Uh hu! /me folds arms triumphantly - 06:40 8 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

We haz problem

I'm in school, looking at the page on IE7, and the images are all over the place. It's the same problem I have with the images on my userpage in IE7. I've asked Spang about it (I've been meaning to do that anyway), but this kinda sucks.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 17:16 May 07, 2008

IE messes with everything... - 17:19 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!
Disregard that! I fixed it!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 17:22 May 07, 2008
Is everything okay? What was up?   Le Cejak <May 07, 2008 [21:10]>
IE was being retarded, and it caused the images to go in weird places. Fixed though!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:23 May 07, 2008

What the FUCK is going on here?

Why wasn't I informed about this? And what exactly is this, anyways? Break up the tea party, Justins! Get back to counting! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 21:19 May 7

IT HAZ WORDZ N' STUFF AN U KAN READZ IT NEWSPAPER LIKE THINGY!!!   Le Cejak <May 07, 2008 [21:22]>
You weren't informed because you didn't subscribe to the UnSignpost. If you'd have signed up for the UnSignpost, you'd have known about the UnSignpost sooner.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:23 May 07, 2008
You still haven't answered my second question, other Justin. What, are you guys in here practicing French kissing or something? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 21:40 May 7
It seems to me Cajek answered the second question, and I answered the first.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:46 May 07, 2008
Meh, shuts the fucks up. Bring Justin back here. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 22:01 May 7

Another question

More of a demand. Write something about me. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 00:29 May 8

Okay, but you won't like it. No take-backs.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [0:32]>
Done.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [0:42]>
As long as it has my name in it and doesn't mention latinos. Or blacks. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 00:50 May 8

This is really cool!

Good job guys! Great idea! Mightydandylion Icons-flag-us (talk) Fk 00:43, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

Dude, MDL! Sign up!   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [0:44]>
Woo! Is this THE FIRST print evah? <==I should probably read the main headline,lol. I feel like I'm witnessing something huge! Mightydandylion Icons-flag-us (talk) Fk 00:59, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
Oh, it's huge alright. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 01:02 May 8

Bi-weekly?

This is all happening so quickly - and a lot of stuff happens on a wiki in a week, you know. Maybe we could consider doing it twice a week. Saturday or Monday would make it evenly spaced out. But, I love the "of the Week" things! I don't want to get rid of "of the Week"!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:24 May 08, 2008

I'm almost thinking we could just send this shit out now with a few more paragraphs. OR we could get started on the next next issue.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [3:27]>
Let's slow down a tad - we don't want this newspaper to run out of steam before it really begins. I think we could do this bi-weekly, on Sundays and Thursdays. But what do we call the "of the Week" boxes? Or do we just leave them as "of the Week" and see if anybody notices?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:39 May 08, 2008
I agree with you: let's leave it weekly. Bi-weekly might work when summer starts in a week or two, but it's tough. P.S. we need some more of-the-week thingies! GET WRITING!!!   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [3:45]>
I'm holding back a bit to see what else this week has in store.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:47 May 08, 2008
...you sure you don't want to do it bi-weekly?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:49 May 08, 2008
Ah, let's see what happens when the FQ turns over on Sunday. But I can see it now: One week, we won't have enough, and we'll just be like oh hell, let's just put it out whenever we want. I don't want that, actually. Not sure why. Anyways, let's see what we got on sunday (I'm guessing three normal articles worth of stuff)   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [3:50]>
Yeah, I want this to be regular, too. Hmm. You're right; we'll see what happens on Sunday. My only concern is a week normal time is like half a month wiki time. The news we're "reporting" might be quite old in a week.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:53 May 08, 2008
We can replace stuff that's old, or just add new stuff when Wed comes. New news goes at top, unless it's not as interesting or something. I'm wondering what to do, now... I wonder what we'll have on Sunday! On retrospect (that was fast), I think we're having a writer's spree right now because this is so exciting. Later on it may become more difficult. I think we should, uh, see what happens Sunday? If we're not sure, just wait until Thursday to be safe.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [3:57]>
We'll always have the paper out on Thursdays, and sometimes have it out on Sundays - if enough stuff is happening. Activity comes and goes, you know. We'll adapt to it with that optional Sunday. How's that for a plan?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:59 May 08, 2008
That does sound like a plan! We need some more of the weeks in this issue to fill in the gap, first.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [4:09]>
Teh process: We plan every issue for Thursday, but if it looks pretty well finished by Sunday, we move the page & start up Fnoodle. Yay! Anyway, we've got a whole weekend to write, practically. I gotta go sleep, it's past midnight here!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 04:11 May 08, 2008

Thing #1: We need to save that "HTBFANJS" thing for Thursday if we do this sunday. THEN I would be happy. Let's move some pages around and make sure we're not confused when Sunday comes. I guess Sunday is 05-11-08.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [12:05]>

Don't worry, we'll figure this all out when Sunday rolls around. Remember: Think Thursday  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 17:05 May 08, 2008

New Header, indicating importance which is not forthcoming

Yeah. Anyway, like the paper guys. It's like getting new stuff from two of my very favourite writers on my talk page regularly, sparing me the task of stalking them to see what they're writing at the moment. And it has stuff about other Uncyc stuff as well - bonus! I think, in summary, I quite like this. Thanks for doing it! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 07:41, May 8

I'm glad you liked it, UU! It was pretty fun, too! This paper is off to a pretty good start, if I do toot my own horn.   Le Cejak <May 08, 2008 [12:07]> *TOOT!*

Issue #2 blah

moved your techie article to number one spot @ top. Maybe we can think of something more important?   Le Cejak <May 09, 2008 [1:02]>

Don't think too hard yet! We've got a whole week of events to cover that we don't even know about yet.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 01:36 May 09, 2008

Goatse Gap?

Is that a real quote? If so, where is it?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 18:43 May 09, 2008

click on the link where it says "Uncyc on itself" it's the talk page of the ED (website) article. Personally, I thought it was hilarious!   Le Cejak <May 09, 2008 [20:34]>
I thought so too. Oh! I wrote it! ~Jewriken.GIF 21:42, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

I sense a good story.

Keep your eyes peeled, man. This could be good.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:13 May 09, 2008

I sense a minor story which is really just a little whore...

I'm working on a flashy new portal for the Game namespace, just dropping by to see if you could/would maybe give it a mention, when it finally get's done/put live (or whatever) on the site? As just like a little passing note thingy...what do you think? - 21:43 9 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Way ahead of you actually.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:45 May 09, 2008
Wow...that was scary...I had just checked out the new issue and was coming back here to say "oh you're way ahead of me, sorry" when I see your comment! Ah! Wow...magic doctor... - 21:48 9 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Hearst would roll in his grave

Once I PEE on it, it truly will be 'yellow journalism'! Good job, everyone... Finnius.png

We're glad you like it Finnius! Welcome back to Uncyc!!   Le Cejak <May 11, 2008 [12:46]>

Can I write stuff?

Submit it below, Mr. Grue, and we'll have a look and Dr. Skullthumper will give the final thumbs up or thumbs down on it.   Le Cejak <May 11, 2008 [21:47]>

Han's awesome weapno of the week

ARCTIC WARFARE MAGNUM: It's a damn sniper rifle. No explanation needed. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 21:56, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

Issue #3 blah

Hey Skull. I put a bunch of crazy crap into the third issue and you haven't berrated me or called me names yet. Just some general comments would be fine.   Le Cejak <May 13, 2008 [0:53]>

General comment: I LOL'd, Cajek! Especially the bit with Modusoperandi's page, that's brilliant. But damn, I'm waiting for something to happen before Thursday to make one good "current event" story. I'll probably add some stuff, but laters. I'm a last-minute sort of writer.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 01:03 May 13, 2008
AWESOME! Btw, I don't think you can get anything newer than Modus's page. You realize it's a reskin for the mainpage on thur? ..I think?   Le Cejak <May 13, 2008 [1:18]>
  1. Dude, it's only Monday.
  2. Where'd you see that? I'll see if I can find any more info on that...  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 01:40 May 13, 2008
Forum:Jerry Falwell, User talk:Modusoperandi/Falwellapedia, uncyclopedia talk:VFH/Jerry Falwell   Le Cejak <May 13, 2008 [1:44]>
Doctor! Doctor! Cajek yelped. Could you make a blank Unsignpost template so I won't have to make it over and over again? Also, let's start on issue 4 now. There is one too many "of the weeks", I'll move the 1957 of the week to 5-22, if you'll let me. Whatchuthink?   Le Cejak <May 13, 2008 [2:16]>
I restored the other "of the week" 'cuz we might have another story, y'never know. Also, yeah, blank template, can do (later). Also, don't burn out, you're going mighty fast...  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 03:17 May 13, 2008

Important note thingy

Let's try not to go any more than one issue in advance. Otherwise, if we need to move the issues up, it's a pain. For instance, right now we have Thursday's in the workings along with next Thursday's. If it turns out we do another Sunday one, next Thursday is easily moved to Sunday. But if we had this Thursday's, next Thursday's, and the Thursday after that, next Thursday is easily moved to Sunday but the Thursday after that isn't easily moved to next Thursday. Savvy?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 22:55 May 13, 2008

Yes, captain jack sparrow.   Le Cejak <May 13, 2008 [23:10]>
Good, now go swab the decks! And get me some more rum.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 23:26 May 13, 2008
Savvy savvy savvy? Rum savvy jar o' dirt? ...?   Le Cejak <May 13, 2008 [23:52]>
Par-lay? - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora (Nyah, see, nyah!) 00:17, May 14

This Thursday's issue

Won't be delivered exactly at midnight UTC. My little brother has his school concert, so brother > some website. Don't worry though, I'll be back soon enough to send it out via Fnoodle. So don't panic.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 20:55 May 14, 2008

PANIC! SKULLTHUMPER THINKS SOME KID IS BETTER THAN UNCYCLOPEDIA! PANIC PANIC PANIC! Also, yes, deliver it before or after midnight UTC. Before is probably better.   Le Cejak <May 14, 2008 [21:29]>
Shame it's going to be after ;)  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  formspring) 21:31 May 14, 2008
...bastard.   Le Cejak <May 14, 2008 [21:44]>
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