User:FishDish/Why?:Buy our products?

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WHY BUY OUR PRODUCT?! How dare you ask that! Everybody knows that there are SO many reasons to buy one of our products! They're cheap! They're easy to use! They're efficient! AND BEST OF ALL, we advertise in an EXTREAMLY loud voice! So give us a call, at 1-900-SCAM today! There are so many great objects to choose from! Perhaps you want easy cereal! Just give us a call, and we'll send the Cereal-o-Matic RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR! Mabey you feel like burning a Furby? We can deliver you GUNPOWDER, 999.99 S&H RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR! And perhaps you feel like massacring innocent civilians shooting targets? We even sell HANDGUNS![1] If you're still not convinced about how wonderful our company is, this brochure will EXPLAIN TO YOU the three things our company is all about: CHEAPNESS, QUALITY, and GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE!

edit Cheapness

THIS is why we are such an amazing company! ALL of our amazing products are availible at such a LOW PRICE, there's NO WAY ON EARTH that anybody could resist stopping by! Why, the aforementioned Cereal-o-Matic can be bought for six payments of the LOW, LOW PRICE OF ONLY 19.9595! The handgun is availible for only 49.99^4! And don't you fucking DARE think that just because we have low prices, we have low quality! ALL of our items are manufactured with the lowest HIGHEST quality materials on the market! EVERY SINGLE ONE of our handguns are made with 100% REAL metal, mined on THIS VERY EARTH! The matches are made with the souls of the damned! SPEAKING OF MATCHES, our matches are only a DIME A DOZEN! Standard S&H rates apply. SO COME ON NOW, GIVE US A CALL! Remember, 1-900-SCAM!
Matches

ONLY A DIME A DOZEN!

edit Quality

In progress. --FishDish 01:11, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit Customer Service

In progress. --FishDish 01:11, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

edit Besides...

Blood
This is the last guy who "Just wanted to use the restroom".

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