User:Falconfly/Gryphon

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“They stole my name!”
~ Peter Griffin on gryphons
“Did you know a gryphon appears in The Chronicles of Narnia?”
~ Captain Obvious on gryphons
“Such a lame imitation of the jabberwockie”
~ Lewis Carrol on Gryphon
“I married one!”
~ Hagrid on Buckbeak

Also known as griffins, keytongs, or opiniscus, gryphons are mythological creatures half-bird half-stag. Ups, those are perytons. Never mind...

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A gryphon (I suppose?)

History

Gryphons had been around since the dawn of human civilazation. Indeed, evidence from gryphons is well documented in documentaries like Winx Club and DuckTales. Gryphon statues were found on pyramids in Egypt; appearently, pharohs most likely used them when Cleopatra wasn't in the mood for sex. Indiana Jones, as well as many archeologists, think gryphon "legends" were originated from Protoceratops fossils; however, it is a well known fact that gryphons evolved from furries. Ignorant scientologists think that Allah created the first gryphon, Adam, from dust, and later created the gryphon Steve from Adam's rib, and Barney the dinosaur tempted them with an apple, and they were later banned from the Garden of Eden. Such myth is parodied in Paradise Lost and the bible with humans instead of griffins.

Hipogriffs

Its a well known fact that J.K. Rowling is racist towards gryphons, so she decided to make a gryphon parody that is half-bird half-asshole. Later she claimed to be an ancient mythological creature that borns when gryphons breed with horses. It is also known Harry Potter has an hipogriff named Buckbeak (renamed Witherwings after his marriage with Harry Potter).

Gryphons and furries

Gryphons are also very apreciated by furries, specially by christian furs, who worship God by fucking animals.

Behaviour

Its pretty common a gryphon to seek for shiny things and eat horses. Its a not so common thing when they edit Encyclopedia Dramatica

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