User:Fail77/The battle of Russian Reversal

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 08:40, April 15, 2010 by Under user (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
Battle of Russian Reversal
Russian soldiers in a trench
Conflict: The Un-Wiki War
Date: September 15th, 2002 - June 17th, 2003
Place: Czechosloveniavakiaslovakia
Outcome: Decisive Russkie Victory
Russia McDonald's McEmpire
In Soviet Russia, army no uses officers! Mayor McCheese
Elements of the 17th Army (appr. 8,500 troops, 20 howitzers) 41 McRegiments (appr. 1,050,700 McInfantry, 2,225 Tanks, 10,000 supporting aircraft)
700 killed and wounded - 50 MIA - 2 howitzers destroyed 545,000 killed and wounded - 2,247 captured - 500 MIA - 500 tanks destroyed - 50 tanks captured - 24 planes captured
The Un-Wiki War
Invasion of Uncyclopedia - Battle of Euroipods - Ridgeway Region - The Battle of AAAAAAAA! - Conflict of Your Mom - Garbageland - Battle of Uncyclopedia

The Battle of Russian Reversal was a major battle fought over that country with a long name we don't want to write down. Ronald McDonald assigned a massive amount of troops to Mayor McCheese's army so they could flank what Ronald had estimated to be 900,000 Uncyclopedian troops at the Battle of Oscar Wilde. When Ronald learned of McCheese's failure at the battle, Ronald simply won the aforementioned Battle of Oscar Wilde himself.

edit Prelude

After that country aligned itself with Uncyclopedia to avoid a WW2 scenario with the Facist Wikipedian Empire, Oscar Wilde was sent by the Uncyclopedian high command to Cze...whatever, in order to convince the people the Uncyclopedians were truely on their side (like Nationwide). Oscar Wilde and his 9 brigades met up with multiple Czech brigades to fight off a looming McDonald's attack. As the Wikipedian attack on Uncyclopedia failed, they immediately ordered Ronald McDonald's armies to besiege Europe. Attacking from the Middle-East, Ronald and his troops attacked that republic.

Meanwhile, Mayor McCheese led his army, now supplied with nearly 75% more troops from the McHigh Command and Ronald McDonald. As they advanced on the fort that was Ronald's target in the Battle of Oscar Wilde, they came across a steep ridge guarded by nearly 8,500 Russians, who were loyal to Uncyclopedia. With trenches, barbed wire, mines, and bunkers on the ridge, the Russians were well-fortified, but heavily outnumbered.

edit The Battle

Mayor McCheese initially demanded the Russians surrender, but they refused, holding up the Russian and the Uncyclopedian flags and yelling "Long live Uncyclopedia!" McCheese, in anger, ordered 1,000 of his troops to blindly charge the ridge. All were cut down, to McCheese's despair.

The second invasion involved a more clever plan, dubbed, Operation Trojan Horse. McCheese sent a large convoy of McDonald's food to the Russian soldiers. The delicious food caused many men to run out of their trenches, thus getting gunned down by McGunners below the ridge. They waited until nearly 100 Russians fell for the trick, then they gunned them down. McCheese mocked the Russians, and continued the onslaught.

The third assault involved catapulting fatties to blast out the ridge. This only resulted in McCasualties for the McInfantry.

Finally, the fourth and final assault McCheese dubbed Operation Human Wave. He charged all of his troops up the ridge, blasting away at Russian positions. However, the Russians brought out machine guns, something McCheese thought they didn't have. His troops were cut down, and fat poured down the ridge. Many McInfantry didn't die, but simply were hit, causing them to lose their fat but still live. The Russians fell back to a second line of trenches after tanks overran their first trenches. As the tanks drove towards them, they drove straight through a massive minefield; all the McTanks sent were crippled. Mayor McCheese had a fifth assault planned, "Operation This Battle Isn't Going Well I Need To Get The Fuck Out Of Here", but seeing the gigantic manpower loss he had suffered, he decided to pull out. The next morning, a few Russians went out to surrender, only to find the McCamp abandoned.

edit Aftermath

Mayor McCheese was relieved of his command, and the remaining troops of his were either merged with Ronald's army or sent to the Uncyclopedian front. The crushing defeat humiliated the McEmpire. Ronald made a very simple comment upon hearing of the defeat:
“That damn fool.”

The Russians reported capturing multiple of weapons of war - including planes, tanks, and guns - and nearly 5 tons of food and water.

Personal tools