He always deletes crap pages right away, gives long bans, and uses vulgar language while doing so. Presumably, he also kicks puppies, eats live kittens, heils Hitler, and sacrifices children to the great lord Satan.
This f****r speaks those African clicky noises heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
This user joined the Folding@home Team, but is going to use the project results to cause cancer rather than cure it.
“I'm going to fucking bury those guys, I've done it before, and I'll do it again. I'm going to fucking kill every Uncyclopedia user.”
- EvilZak
EvilZak is a global spy created by turkey manufacturers to destroy all ham. He walks the Earth, searching for mentions of ham and exclamation points to modify them for the evil turkey conspiracy. Saying HAM!!!!! will alert his superiors. They will send him to destroy the hamination, to maintain the turkey empire. He is known to be involved as a double agent for salami.
EvilZak attended this YKK klan rally. He's in the front row, second from the left.
He is also adamant in his hatred of all yous. Yous are inferior to all other members of the human race, and they should not even be counted as members themselves. He's even in the You Klux Klan.
User:EvilZak/Extreme laziness(I'd have completed this article by now, but I have extreme lazine... eh, I don't feel like finishing this explanation)
THE IMAGES!!!!
PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
These images are pieces of crap. The artist acknowledges this.
This is a gallery of the images he's done. The gallery is written in first person, unlike the rest of this page which is in third person. He has no fucking clue why that is. Featured images appear on someone else's user page.
HTML, what can't it do?
I wonder how much bandwidth I'm wasting with this picture.
I'm also capable of making TILTED RECTANGLES! YES, I SAID TILTED!
What the fuck was I smoking?
This is better than the previous four combined, but still worse than one pixel by anyone else.
For this image, I moved an oval up, then moved a smaller oval up. Nothing short of serious laber.
Here I added a rectangle and some text. Hey, I told you I had extreme laziness.
It's in black and white, so you can't see the faults as easily.
To be fair, this is the best picture of a sharpened hamster I've ever seen.
MSPaint is a good tool in the right hands. Too bad my hands aren't right.
A trophy. Notice that it is neither for excellent image editing nor given to me.
I made a typo on this image. Where I put "Signature-related human fatalities", I meant to say "EvilZak's image making talent".
At least I'm good at making images that are supposed to be revolting.
It's not easy being green. And even if it was, I'd still do it wrong.
(In case you weren't paying attention earlier, articles written by the man himself (that's EvilZak, in case you REALLY haven't been paying attention) are italicized.)
PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
