He always deletes crap pages right away, gives long bans, and uses vulgar language while doing so. Presumably, he also kicks puppies, eats live kittens, heils Hitler, and sacrifices children to the great lord Satan.
This user joined the Folding@home Team, but is going to use the project results to cause cancer rather than cure it.
“I'm going to fucking bury those guys, I've done it before, and I'll do it again. I'm going to fucking kill every Uncyclopedia user.”
EvilZak is a global spy created by turkey manufacturers to destroy all ham. He walks the Earth, searching for mentions of ham and exclamation points to modify them for the evil turkey conspiracy. Saying HAM!!!!! will alert his superiors. They will send him to destroy the hamination, to maintain the turkey empire. He is known to be involved as a double agent for salami.
User:EvilZak/Extreme laziness(I'd have completed this article by now, but I have extreme lazine... eh, I don't feel like finishing this explanation)
PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!
These images are pieces of crap. The artist acknowledges this.
This is a gallery of the images he's done. The gallery is written in first person, unlike the rest of this page which is in third person. He has no fucking clue why that is. Featured images appear on someone else's user page.
HTML, what can't it do?
I wonder how much bandwidth I'm wasting with this picture.
I'm also capable of making TILTED RECTANGLES! YES, I SAID TILTED!
What the fuck was I smoking?
This is better than the previous four combined, but still worse than one pixel by anyone else.
For this image, I moved an oval up, then moved a smaller oval up. Nothing short of serious laber.
Here I added a rectangle and some text. Hey, I told you I had extreme laziness.
It's in black and white, so you can't see the faults as easily.
To be fair, this is the best picture of a sharpened hamster I've ever seen.
MSPaint is a good tool in the right hands. Too bad my hands aren't right.
A trophy. Notice that it is neither for excellent image editing nor given to me.
I made a typo on this image. Where I put "Signature-related human fatalities", I meant to say "EvilZak's image making talent".
At least I'm good at making images that are supposed to be revolting.
It's not easy being green. And even if it was, I'd still do it wrong.