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Stop hand nuvola alternate This user has read and understood the BIG HUGE FREAKING RED BOX. Have you?
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about me.
For those obsessed with the so-called experts, Epicgenius also has a userpage on the English Wikipedia.

My flipping userpage.

edit November 2013

Update: Looks like I'm going to spend more time here, because I got blocked on Wikipedia for a week. Epicgenius (WP rollbacker) (talk) 20:40, November 19, 2013 (UTC)


Now I believe it, don't I?

Wikipedia after being hacked by North Koreans

My Wikipedia userpage, after it was eaten by people from Uranus

edit Interstate \infty

Interstate 99 (I-99) is a hoax in which U.S. Route 220 in central Pennsylvania is claimed to be an Interstate Highway. It is commonly believed to have been started in 1842 by the citizens of Altoona, who wanted the Pennsylvania Railroad to place a large rail yard in their downtown area, destroying the slums and therefore getting rid of poverty. Alternate theories include Fresno, California Congressman Shud Buster sneaking a provision into the 1995 highway act, but he was a little tipsy and confused California with its twin sister Pennsylvania.

edit Route description

Wait... didn't we say it doesn't exist? Let's pretend it does.

I-99 doesn't intersect the Pennsylvania Turnpike near Bedford. Don't let the signs fool you; they're in on the hoax. It actually does serve Altoona, and then ends in a huge cave full of acid rock, trapping and killing gullible drivers.

edit History

Well... uh... it still doesn't exist.

The April 31, 1842 issue of the Altoona Fish includes an article about the "New Interstate Highway", though some researchers claim a prankster inserted it into the archives, due to the fact that the "Wingdings" font it is written in did not exist in 1842. 175-year old Bonnie Swan claims to have been there, and distinctly remembers the Pennsylvania Railroad being swayed by the modern highway and driving out "those darn negros".

But that might be false. Here's another possible truth verifiable possibility:

Shud Buster of California wanted State Route 99 to be an Interstate for the same reasons as Bonnie Swan: he couldn't stand what had become of his once-fine city of Fresno. Unluckily, he had partied hard the previous night, and forgot which of the lovely states he had entered. Thus the final 1995 highway act included the following sentence:

The portion of the route referred to in subsection (c)(9) is designated as Interstate Route I-99.

Of course he meant subsection (c)(54), but who can remember all those numbers?

The state of Delaware passed a resolution in 2001 denying the existence of any Interstate 99 that does not pass through Dover.

edit Exit list

County Location Mile Exit number Destinations Notes
Kern 0.00 I-5 south - The Angels This doesn't really exist.
Bakersfield 25.65 26 Downtown Bakersfield This doesn't exist either.
Tulare 96.55 97 Visalia Maybe this one exists? Nope!
Fresno Fresno 132.26 132 Fresno Civic Center This one exists. Just kidding.
Blair Altoona 867.19 Acid Rock Cave Now you're gullible and dead.
Mianus Near Uranus 193127405.01 193... Ah, forget it. Little yellow people on one of Uranus's moons. Well, at least this one exists.

edit Vandalism

Example of vandalism on Wikipedia.

Size of English Wikipedia broken down

Breakup of Wikipedia articles

Wikipedia, due to its popularityO RLY?, has been a subject of persistent vandalism. Critics POOOOOOOP LOLOLOLOLOL have charged that this makes Wikipedia an unreliable source OMGIHATE MY TEACHER HE IS STUPID IM GONNA KILL HIM for information after taking a shit. In responding to this, Wikipedia founder Jimbo Wales said, "This is a persistent issue
{q|IM GHEY AND I LUV TO KISS MY OWN BUTT|Jimbo wales}} , and we are working our PEEENISSS shafts to stop potential vandals before they reach the site I LUV TO FUCK MY MOM PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!11111111onetwo There have been efforts within the Wikipedia important community to improve the reliability of Wikipedia. The English-language Wikipedia has introduced an assessment (HAHA, ASS) scale against which the SHITBITCH quality of howank Sara Johnson's ass is judged GO SMH COUGARS!!! , other editions have also adopted this. Roughly 2000 ELECTION WAS RIGGED articles in English have passed a rigorous set of criteria to reach the highest rank, "featured article" status; such articles are intended to provide KATIE IS SEXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYYYYY thorough, well-written coverage of MAH BALLS their topic, supported by many references to Chuck Norris-.reviewed publications. In order to improve reliability, some editors have called for "stable versions" of articles, or articles that have been reviewed by the mostly drunk and naked community and locked from further editing—but the community has been unable to form a GIANT PENIS DRILL

Wikipedia Vandalism2

consensus in favor of such changes, partly because they would require a major software overhaul, and partly because wikipedia editors couldn't find there asses with both hands and Google maps. A similar Brainewashing' system is being tested on the German NAZIpedia, UR ALL TARTS kim jong-il sucks XD LULZ! and there is an expectation that some form of that system will make its way onto the English version at some future point. Software created by Luca de Alfaro FUCK HIM and colleagues at the University of California, Santa Cruz is now being tested that will assign "trust ratings" to individual Wikipedia contributors, with the intention that eventually only edits made by those who have established themselves ass "trusted editors" COMMIE FASCISTS will be made immediately visible. Many people think it is vanadalised so often due to the obvious fact that it is written by pricks, for pricks

Wikipedia has been known to take drastic measures to combat vandalism. YO MAMA Suck


edit Petty ego section

  • The wikipedia:Tower of Hanoi is useful in testing for cognitive planning deficits. I invented it.
  • wikipedia:West Nile virus: I did this one because I think an infected mosquito bit me in the ass.
  • wikipedia:Suicide: I redid the whole article and tried to delete most of the b.s. on there, the crap still on there like the garish picture of 'le suicide' and the termites blowing themselves up crap I tried to delete too,no such luck. I added the section on treatment, prevention, screening, the role of medical problems causing 'psychological symptoms' etc. There are treatments that work, there are things that can be done. I added that in an effort to help people {nice ones). Unfortunately even with the knowledge a person would need money, often someone to help them and advocate on their behalf and then actually trying to find a competent medical professional.
  • wikipedia:List of suicide crisis lines: Human interaction even via telephone has a positive effect on the human brain and depending on location some crisis lines may be able to give information on various resources. So it figures some lard-ass person on Wikipedia wanted to delete it.
  • wikipedia:Depression (differential diagnoses): A lot of people - a conservative 10% have an undiagnosed medical condition causing their 'psychiatric disorder', upwards of 50% have an undiagnosed medical condition, which if not the primary cause of their psychiatric symptoms, is exacerbating it. (that translates into millions of people who are getting the shaft, because they can't get a proper diagnosis) Another person wanted to delete this article. (a psychiatrist no less, proved my pointed).
  • wikipedia:Hemoglobin Lepore syndrome: I did this to piss off the person, (doctor) who started it with one sentence and misnamed to boot but then felt bad because there is not enough information in one article, so I made one, (aww Mike you are so nice).
  • wikipedia:Silent stroke: is a precursor to major stroke, at least 10% of adults over the age of 40 have had one and children can also have one - around 30% of children with sickle cell disease have had one. Another Wikipedia user wanted to delete this article.( a doctor). If it would have been deleted by a doctor then other doctors wouldn't have been able to plagiarize it, si? or no? Portions of it were copied verbatim in a medical journal, a research article that is published in three other journals, various neurology groups in the U.S. and Australia, two stem cell research centers, an assisted living facility, a cardiologist in Manhattan, a medical supply company etc. etc.
  • wikipedia:Planning (cognitive): It's cognitive process necessary to function in all facets and various stages of life especially in adulthood. This crap doesn't work for me (poor, poor Mike, woe is me, ohhhh the humanity!!!).
  • wikipedia:Cognitive Remediation Therapy: a type of therapy that actually works for various disorders.
  • wikipedia:Cognitive flexibility: is the term used to describe one of the wikipedia:executive functions; a function which is an important component of human behavior; the ability to switch behavioral response according to the context of the situation.

Green Red Blue
Purple Blue Purple

Blue Purple Red
Green Purple Green

Naming the color of the first set of words is easier and quicker than the second set. A test of cognitive flexiblity. I invented this too.
  • wikipedia:Anorexia nervosa: I did a lot of it, including Anorexia nervosa (which sucks and needs to be redone). People starving themselves to death read this, I heve seen segments of the article on variuos blogs and chatboards frequented by people suffering from it. What is written and how it is written can have either a positive, negative or a deleterious effect upon them.
  • wikipedia:von Willebrands disease: My interest in von Willebrands is due to medical incompetence and misdiagnosis. A doctor who went to Case Western University and Columbia University and was the head of department for pediatric hematology and oncology in a major hospital in the northeast U.S., made an erroneous diagnosis of wikipedia:von Willebrand's disease. I proved him wrong; no brilliance on part he had made incredibly unprofessional and egregious errors. What a major incompetent dickhead.
  • wikipedia:Pituitary adenoma:I did a large part of this article. About 20-25% of people have one. Generally considered 'benign', a meta-analysis of the available research shows that there are few studies that support that assumption, and they are of poor quality. What is known is that there is a high incidence of pituitary adenomas found at autopsy in suicide victims - these are referred to as wikipedia:incidentalomas, which means holy shit! I found a tumor. It is incredulous that giving the astronomical prevalence rate and the link to suicide that more research is not done in this area.
  • wikipedia:Cerebral hypoxia: A majority of this one. There are various medical conditions and scenarios which may result in either hypoxia or anoxia with long term deleterious consequences for the patient, such as a protracted delivery process during birth or a heart attack.
  • wikipedia:Intrauterine hypoxia: by no means complete but it gives the gist of. Something else which is never inquired of in the 'mental health' field.
  • wikipedia:Skull fracture: It's not complete, but it gives the gist of it, plus this neglected fact: Neurological deficits in skull fractures:
The presence of a concussion or skull fracture in trauma patients without intracranial wikipedia:hemorrhage or focal neurologic deficits was indicated in long term cognitive impairments and emotional lability at nearly double the rate as those patients without either complication.
In a study of emergency room patients suspected of having suffered closed head injuries, wikipedia:neuropsychological testing and wikipedia:computerized tomography (CT) scans came back with normal results. The patients did not differ in wikipedia:Closed head injury (CHI) scores as measured by the wikipedia:Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS).
Those with a skull fracture were shown to have "neuropsychological dysfunction, even in the absence of intracranial pathology or more severe disturbance of consciousness on the GCS".
Simple question, never asked in the 'mental health' field: Have you ever had a skull fracture?
  • wikipedia:Pine Ridge Indian Reservation: These people are suffering out there. I did a majority of this article. One in four children is born with wikipedia:Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. People on the reservation have the lowest life expectancy in the Western hemisphere except for Haiti. The article receives 10,000 hits more after it was redone.
  • wikipedia:Foster care: I was raised in foster care by people who treated me like crap (even though I looked so fabulous and had marvelous hair - the bastards). I wrote a large part of it so other people like myself know that there is a sound scientific basis for what 'problems' they may be experiencing in life. Foster care actually causes neurological damage right down to the cellular level affecting various processes such as wikipedia:neurogenesis (foster care also gave me gas).
  • wikipedia:Terrell Peterson: this is what we let happen to children in the United States, he shouldn't be forgotten, and his case is indicative of untold thousands more. The family court system and 'child protective services' in the United States is an abomination. Many of those drawing a salary and tasked with protecting children do the exact opposite and nobody deems to give a rat's ass, about innocent kids.

edit Just because

Plus these. Plus like three million other articles, actually I wrote all of Wikipedia (the good articles, other people write the crap).

I don't care if people copy what I wrote on Wikipedia because it strokes my bruised and damaged ego. Just not on for-profit websites, especially a doctor claiming my text for his own. Just say no to plagiarism (unless there is cash involved).

edit Judging people

Don't judge anybody unless they're mean, then eff them.

edit My other accomplishments

edit Moral of the Story

Just because you have flatulence and fart a lot does not mean you are a stinky person, well actually you do stink but you can still be somebody...somewhere.







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