User:EpicNinjaMonkey/UnNews:Mathematicians Prove 1+1=3
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EpicNinjaMonkey/UnNews:Mathematicians Prove 1+1=3
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 22, 2015, 14:46 (UTC)
25 February 2012
Harvard University, Massachusetts -- Today, Harvard mathematicians proved that 1+1=3. They explained to us how they proved it.
They explain that we know that 1=1, so we add the three equations together
They conclude by telling us that on the left there are three 1s and on the left there is 1+1, so 1+1=3
We tried to tell them that what they were saying didn't really make sense because you get 2=3, but one of them pulled out a shotgun. Let me tell you, nothing is scarier than a crazy old man threatening you with a shotgun. NOTHING. I am scarred for life.
We were released under the rule that we would never tell anyone that they were wrong.
So, there you have it, they were uh....right. Yup, 1+1=3.
(Please don't say they are wrong, they'll KILL me. Spare my life!)
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|